Realism
by Hotaru-hime
Summary: Kagura POV. After being rejected by Kyo, Kagura becomes ill. She thinks that it's due to emotional distress. Then she finds out it's much more than that. How will Kyo react to her condition, even though he rejected her? KxK later on.
1. Part 1

Okay, this idea is a little far-fetched (and extreme). But Kagura is one of my favorite characters, and she hasn't appeared much in the manga. This is her POV story, and a little sad at times. This contains some spoilers from the manga, though I created her dilemma. Oh, and I don't own Fruits Basket.

Realism

I wish I were a child again.

Those were the good old days. Feeling so happy, so _free_. Having great friends and feeling like someone.

And being in love. 

Maybe I _am _a child. After all, I use to hang onto my childhood dreams. One of which being to marry the person I love most.

Kyo. My cousin Kyo.

Before I leave the wrong impression, Kyo's my distant cousin. And as a member of the Juunishi, he cannot hug anyone of the opposite sex or he'd turn into a Cat. Unless, that girl happened to be also of the Juunishi.

Like me, the Boar.

But, I'm stupid. All these years I've loved him, but I never stopped to think about _his _feelings. But boy, did I get an eye-opener when I finally seriously confessed to him.

"_Thank you, Kagura. But I don't feel the same way_."

He said a lot of cruel things to me to drive me away. But he wasn't cruel then. He didn't yell at me or laugh at me. He let me down gently.

Which meant he was telling the truth.

I cried. The Gods know I cried for days. I just locked myself in my room. If I were really angry I would've destroyed things. But my own grief made me so tired. 

Which also made me wish I were a kid again.

I'm sick.

I felt depressed due to the rejection. I didn't leave my house for days. And I was feeling sick. Of course, I thought that it was because of my feelings. But my appetite kept going away, and I kept feeling so…_tired_. It wasn't long before I started running high fevers for no reason and I felt so thirsty all the time. And I would have to go to the bathroom all the time, and…sometimes I was bleeding when I went. And I would feel these pains; I didn't know what they were.

Finally, my mother had enough. She sent me to see Hatori, another cousin and also of the Juunishi and a doctor, for a check-up. Hatori, being the calm person he was, listened to my symptoms with a blank expression on his face. Honestly, I didn't think anything was wrong at the time. After listening to me he decided to do a routine check-up. He took my blood pressure, checked my hearing and eyesight. Everything seemed to look fine.

Then he checked my breathing.

He checked it on my front and everything seemed fine. Then he moved to my back to check my breathing there. Something seemed to catch his eye, I didn't know what. I was pretty surprised to feel his fingers on the right side of my lower back instead of the stethoscope. I waited patiently, wondering what he was doing. Then he asked me a strange question.

"Kagura, did you know you had a lump in your back?"

"Eh? A lump?" I was puzzled. How did I get a lump?

"Yes. Did you hurt yourself at all?"

"Um, not that I know of."

Hatori got his clipboard out and asked me about my symptoms. I told him again what they were, still convinced that I was still depressed.

"How long have you felt these symptoms?"

"When I first started feeling depressed, which was a few weeks ago."

"Is that when you first took notice to them or the first time they appeared?"

I was about to answer that that they just appeared, but it got me thinking. Did I feel them before that? I remembered in a lot of occasions before Kyo rejecting me that I urinated blood. I never noticed a lump, so I didn't know when that had appeared. But…I hadn't been running high fevers before this. But I had felt tired on a lot of occasions. Sometimes to the point I couldn't go to my college, or even to Shigure's, another cousin and also of the Juunishi, house. Where Kyo lived.

"I think that was when I first noticed," I told him. "Why?"

Hatori calmly wrote everything down. Then he stood up and took a bottle out of one of the cabinets. "Here are some painkillers. Take two after eating dinner and be sure to get a full night's sleep."

"I'm not actually hungry," I told him, though I took the painkillers.

"Try to eat."

I nodded. My mother had told me the same thing. So I went back home, feeling that my problems were solved.

I was wrong.

I went about my normal business. I was still feeling tired and not hungry, but I felt I was still depressed. Though I couldn't explain how that contributed to urinating blood or that lump in my back. But I didn't think much of it.

Then one day, as I was leaving to go to college, Hatori called me to his office. He still looked as calm as ever, but…something was wrong. He was a little _too _calm. 

"I'm taking you to the hospital."

My blood froze. "W-What?"

"I shouldn't have started like that. I talked with some doctors at the hospital about that lump on your back. They seemed interested and want to run a few tests."

I laughed a little in relief. "Over a lump? Hatori isn't that a little extreme?"

"Probably. But we still want to check."

I shrugged. "Okay. When do we go?"

He stood up. "Right now."

I face-faulted. "H-Hatori!! I have college to go to!!"

"Skip it today."

"B-But I've already missed so many days!!"

"You can miss another."

Despite my protests, we were at the hospital an hour later and I was getting ready for the first of three tests. The first one being something called an Intravenous pyelogram or intravenous pyelography or an IVP as the doctors called it. They injected some sort of dye into me, then had me go to the bathroom some time later and ran some more tests. 

Then they did a Computed tomography scan or a CT scan. This one was a little easier as all they did was take x-ray pictures. The third test didn't come right away, but they were able to come to a conclusion based on these tests. At that time I still thought nothing of it. But when Hatori came to see me in my room in the hospital, I could tell something was wrong. And he told me.

I was sick.

It wasn't some sort of flu or chicken pocks sick. But _really _sick.

I had cancer in my right kidney. 

I didn't want to believe it. I mean, I'm only eighteen. I couldn't get cancer!! 

But I had cancer. Despite the fact that kidney cancer usually happened in people over 40, to alcoholics, and to men. I was none of these things. 

But Hatori had the answer I didn't want.

"You have hereditary kidney cancer," he told me. "It's rare, but you inherited it from your grandmother. She had the cancer also, but it only came to her in her late twenties."

I started hyperventilating and tears spilled down my cheeks. "Am I going to die?"

"We have to run a biopsy," he told me. "Only then will we know just how far it has spread."

So they ran the test. Never in my life had I been so afraid. I felt so stupid too. How could I have felt that these telltale signs were due to my depression?!

After the test, he gave me both good news and bad news.

Good news: The cancer hadn't spread to my other organs, but just remained in my right kidney.

Bad news: The lump in my back was the cancer growing larger. It was right on top of the kidney. Meaning I had to have immediate surgery to remove the entire kidney, along with the adrenal gland there and tissue surrounding the kidney. 

"So will I still die?" I asked again, feeling very afraid. 

"No," Hatori assured me. "You still have one healthy kidney and that can make up for the work of two."

I sighed in relief. But a thought came to me. "After they remove this kidney, could I have a transplant and put in another?"

"Yes and no. Yes being yes, it is possible to put in another kidney to replace the one ridden with cancer. No being the fact that the medical world believes that would be a waste of organs."

I blinked. "A waste?"

"Yes. They'd rather put cancer patients on dialysis for the rest of their lives than give then a transplant."

"So…they would refuse me?"

"Yes, unless someone happened to step forward and be willing to give their kidney to you."

On one hand, I was happy that I was going to live. On another hand, I was disheartened about telling everyone else. "Who knows about my cancer?"

"Up to now your mother, Isuzu, Akito, and myself."

"A-Akito knows?" Sohma Akito, the head of our family. By far the most bitter person I knew and had cost so much suffering to the Juunishi.

"Well, as the head of the family I _had _to tell him your condition. He says the operation will cost the family a lot of money, but he's willing to let us go through with it."

I felt relieved again. "Really? Just like that?"

"Yes. I think he sympathizes with you, given the fact that you're sick like he is."

"Oh. How long will I have to stay here?"

"Just overnight. I can take you home tomorrow, but you'll have to be monitored a lot in case the cancer takes a turn for the worse."

I nodded. "Hatori…I have to tell everyone."

"I understand. I'll arrange a day with Shigure and have everyone meet there at his house."

"Thank you."

That was that. Simple, huh? 

But it wasn't too long before that day came up. I was so nervous and felt slightly ill. But a little better than most times, so it was all right. 

So there I was, riding with Hatori and Isuzu in Hatori's car to Shigure's house. Butterflies were fluttering in my stomach, and I laughed a little to myself. Kyo didn't have to worry about me pouncing on him. Not just due to his rejection, but also my cancer prevented me from overexerting myself. 

"You feeling all right?" Hatori asked me.

I nodded. "It's been a while since I've seen everyone."

"If Kyo gives you a hard time, I'll kick his ass," Isuzu said calmly from the front seat and I couldn't help but laugh. Isuzu, or 'Rin' as everyone else called her, had been living at my house for a while. She was also a cousin and also of the Juunishi. Which is why she knew about my cancer. She's grown to be my best friend and a sister to me, despite her own problems involving Akito, Shigure, and Hatsuharu, yet another cousin and also of the Juunishi.

I was a little surprised to see Hatori driving down the road leading to Shigure's house. Generally he would stop the car and walk there. 

"This'll be easier as you won't have to walk very far," he told me.

I looked out the window. "But it's a narrow road. It'll be hard to backup."

"I don't care."

I decided not to say anymore on the subject. When I saw the house come into view, my heart started pounding again. The last time I saw Kyo, it was before I knew I had cancer. Now I knew I had it and now I would have to tell him…

Sure enough, I saw Kyo through the windshield. My heart pounded harder. I still loved him very much despite his rejection. But I knew whom he truly loved…

He was standing right out from, yelling at Yuki. Honda Tohru, a normal girl not in our family living with Shigure (and also knowing of our family curse) was trying to be mediator.

"We can stop now," I said. "The house is only fifteen feet away."

Hatori didn't answer me and continued driving.

"Um, Hatori, if you keep driving you'll run over Kyo-kun and Yun-kun."

"Keep going," said Isuzu. And kept going he did.

"Hatori, you're going to hit them!!" I yelled. It was then that Yuki and Kyo noticed Hatori coming down on them. Both yelled and jumped out of the way. Hatori finally stopped, but only inches from the front door.

"What the hell?!?!" yelled Kyo and I shivered. The last time I heard his voice was his words of rejection.

"I'll take care of Kagura," said Isuzu.

Hatori nodded. "If you need any help, just yell." Then he calmly got out of the car and went inside the house, doing a good job at ignoring Kyo and Yuki, who were yelling at him. 

Isuzu got out of the car calmly, ignoring angry Yuki and Kyo and terrified Tohru. She opened my door. "Need any help?"

"No, thank you," I said calmly. I climbed out of the car, trying very hard not to look sick. Then again, I was thinner and paler, so my appearance didn't help me very much. 

"Kagura-chan!!" Tohru greeted, running over to me. "Long time no see!"

"Hi," I greeted, managing a smile. I knew Kyo loved Tohru very much and he rejected me because of the love he felt for her. But Tohru was one of my best friends and I wasn't going to let it affect our friendship. Especially since I was so sick.

Tohru gave me a quick hug, and I felt her stiffen. I knew she could tell how thin I was. "Um, I'm sorry I haven't been by. College has been hard on me and I had…lots of work to do."

Luckily, Tohru wasn't a prying person. She let go of me and smiled. "Well, I'm glad to see you now!!"

I smiled again. I looked at Yuki and Kyo. "Hi guys!"

"Hello, Kagura," Yuki answered. 

"Yeah, hi," said Kyo. He was being very casual, but there was an edge in his voice. Like he was afraid I'd go into frenzy. 

"Let's go inside!!" I announced, hearing confused sounds from Yuki, Kyo and Tohru. As if they expected me to pounce on Kyo. 

"Yeah," said Isuzu, a bored expression on her face.

Though Tohru didn't outright say it, I knew she was concerned for me. But then again, my lack of appetite and unexplained weight loss _did _make me thinner. Not thin to be worried about, but thinner than usual.

As tired as I was, I was having a good time at the party. Both Hatori and Isuzu kept close eyes on me. But I was able to find some peace. After all, everyone was mainly talking to Tohru.

Of course, Shigure has to be the observant cousin.

"Kagura-chan, have you lost weight?" he asked. 

I froze. "Well, um—"

"No, no. I'm just saying you look fine so you don't need to lose weight."

I turned red. I kind of figured that everything thought I was starving myself. Even if that wasn't the case.

"Let me get dinner!!" announced Tohru. She got up and headed into the kitchen. Momiji and Kisa got up and followed her. Conversations broke off into little discussions. I sat by myself, watching everyone. 

_They look so happy, _I thought to myself. _And when I tell them about my cancer, they'll be upset with me for not telling them sooner. Or they'll think I'm kidding. No, with Hatori to back me up they'll know it's not a joke…_

I glanced at Kyo, who didn't even look my way. _Well, I have one thing to be relieved about. Since Kyo doesn't care about me, the news of my cancer shouldn't affect him too much. I wouldn't want him to be upset…_

Suddenly, a delicious aroma filled the room. Tohru came back carrying huge platters of food. Momiji and Kisa followed, also carrying platters. I had to admit that the food looked great. But I still wasn't hungry.

Tohru handed out plates of food to specific people. I could tell she made special dishes that appealed to everyone. Even Hiro, who didn't like Tohru very much, managed a smile when she handed him a plate.

"And finally, Kagura-chan," said Tohru. Much to my shock she picked up one of the full platters of plates of food and set it right in front of me!! I gaped at the platter, and then gaped at Tohru. She wore her happy smile, but I could strongly tell her concern for me.

"I'm not really hungry," I said, and it was truthful. But my comment earned me stares from everyone. I knew that everyone figured that I was starving myself. And they were going to make sure I ate everything on this platter!! Sighing softly I picked up one of the smaller plates and gently pushed the platter away.

"Oh no, that's yours," said Tohru. "Don't be modest."

"Yeah, just eat _something_." Kyo's voice floated over to me. I gulped, silently debating if I should just tell them then. But when I looked around I saw that Hatori had gone outside. Furthermore I couldn't see Isuzu. I had to have them both here for support. 

So I forced myself to eat, as hard as it was. It seemed to make everyone else feel better. And the food _did _taste great. That seemed to help me out.

But, I stopped eating after I finished that small plate. I ate everything off of it, but I had pushed down on my disappearing appetite and forced myself to eat. Now I couldn't push it away anymore and I couldn't eat.

"That was good," I said, putting down the empty plate.

"Oh, have more," said Tohru, nudging the tray to me.

"Really, I'm not hungry anymore."

"I swear, you adults become even more stupid every day," said Hiro.

I blinked. "What?"

"I mean, what kind of a point are you trying to make? You're already thin, so why are you just starving yourself?"

"Hiro!" hissed Momiji.

"What? I'm just asking her what you guys are just _dying _to ask!!" he looked at me. "Well?!"

I shook my head. "I'm not trying to starve myself—"

"Um, Hiro-chan has a bit of a point," said Tohru. "You didn't eat until we all urged you to. And you ate only the smallest plate. Kagura-chan, is there something wrong? You can always tell us."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. I had to tell them. But I needed Hatori and Isuzu there. I took hold of the platter and started to stand up. In all honesties, I had no idea how to answer Tohru without outright telling her I had cancer.

That's when it happened. I stood up straight with the heavy platter in my hands. Pain shot up my back from my kidney and seemed to spread through my entire body. Oh Gods, it hurt so much! It was almost unbearable. It took most of my strength to keep hold of the tray, though it started trembling in my hands.

"Kagura-chan?" Tohru asked.

I forced a smile. "I-I-I'm fine—"

"But you're crying!!"

I blinked, feeling tears roll down my face. The pain was so terrible! I put down the tray to see if the gone weight would help dispel the pain. It didn't.

"Kagura-chan, are you upset?" 

I shook my head quickly. I looked around the room at the confused faces. Hatori still hadn't come back. And from the shouting going on in the hall, I knew that Isuzu was caught up in an argument with Hatsuharu. My vision started blurring. I didn't know if was about to pass out or die. But as far as everyone was concerned, I was just upset about Hiro's comments. 

"G-G-Get Hatori—" I choked out.

*POOF!!!!!!!!!*

"Kagura-chan?!" cried Tohru. The pain had been so terrible that I had changed forms. I didn't know if the lump in my back was visible in this form, but I didn't care anymore. I just felt so tired again…

"Momiji, get Hatori-san!!"

I could hear people panicking around me. I felt myself be lifted up but I didn't know by whom. I lost consciousness soon after.


	2. Part 2

Part 2

I came awake slowly. I knew right away I had changed back into my human form. Someone had even put me back in my clothes. But I didn't know where I was.

"How long have I been unconscious?" I murmured.

"Only a few minutes," said a voice next to me. I turned my head, my gaze landing on Isuzu. She wore a guilty expression. "I'm sorry, I was suppose to keep an eye on you—"

I shook my head. "It's fine. Um, am I still at Shigure's house?"

Isuzu nodded. "This is one of the guest rooms. When you transformed out of the blue like that you freaked everyone out. Hatori said that the cancer put a lot of stress on you and that's why it hurt so much."

One of my hands went to my back, touching the lump there. "Did they see it?"

"If they did, no one said anything—"

Suddenly loud voices floated up to the room from downstairs. 

"Is something wrong with her?!"

"Why did she just pass out like that?!"

"Why is she starving herself?!"

Questions no doubt directed at Hatori. I tried to sit up, but Isuzu grabbed my shoulders. "Not now, you need to rest. Hatori said he would tell them."

Tears stung my eyes. "_I wanted to tell them."_

"Kagura, please leave it to Hatori. You're still very weak."

"No." I broke away from her. "_I'm the one who has this cancer. __I should be the one to tell them."_

Isuzu stared at me for several long moments before nodding. "I understand. Here, let me help you." She helped me stand up. "Just lean on me and I'll walk you downstairs."

She helped me out of the room. I could hear Hatori clearly downstairs.

"If you all will calm down, I'll tell you," said Hatori. It became silent, except for a few voices. "All right. Kagura is very sick."

"Like a cold?" asked Ritsu.

"No, I mean she's really sick."

Silence followed this. Isuzu and I were heading down the stairs. I knew I wasn't going to make it in time. 

"Just how sick is she?" asked Tohru.

After a short pause, Hatori revealed all.

"She has cancer in her right kidney."

Silence followed this as well. Then the yelling started.

"WHAT?!?!"

"How did she catch it?!"

"I thought only old people got cancer!! Kagura's only eighteen!!"

"Is she going to die?!"

"She will need an immediate operation to remove her entire right kidney. If we do not do the operation, then yes she will die."

A cold chill passed over me. So I did have a possibility to die?! It was a good thing I decided on an operation.

We reached the first floor. The floor creaked under our footsteps and everyone became silent in the other room. I knew that they knew I was awake. Isuzu wasted no time in getting me to the door and sliding it open. 

Heads turned. Everyone was staring at us. I could tell that the wheels were turning in their heads. Everything was dawning on them. '_She's not starving herself_.' '_She's pale for reasons other than staying indoors_.' '_She has cancer in her kidney_.'

I knew that all of them were wishing that I _did _have an eating disorder. At least those could be fixed right away. Not as life-threatening as having cancer.

"Hi everyone," I said, as if to break the silence. I couldn't believe how calm I was, considering how horrified everyone else looked. 

"You're supposed to be resting," said Hatori, the only one not looking horrified. He glared at Isuzu, who kept a blank expression.

"I asked her to bring me down," I told him. "I…I wanted to be the one to tell them."

I didn't like the silence. Or how sad everyone looked. 

Isuzu sat me down next to Hatori, so he could keep a close watch on me. 

"You need an operation?" Kisa asked quietly.

I forced a smile. "Yes, but it'll save me."

"Why didn't you tell us sooner?" asked Hatsuharu. I could tell that his emotions were edging him towards Black Haru.

"I didn't really know how to say it," I said. "I just found out recently. We had this gathering so that I could tell everyone."

"Just like that?" asked Yuki. 

I tried to keep smiling. "It's better than saying it on the phone."

Silence followed this as well. 

"When is your operation?" asked Tohru. I could tell she was on the verge of tears.

"Next week," said Hatori. "I'll be giving the operation. Don't worry; my assistants are all female to avoid any trouble."

The silence came once again. It was so tense in there. I didn't want it to be left like this.

"Tohru, I'm starting to feel a little hungry," I said. "Is there any more food?"

"Oh, of course!!" said Tohru. She didn't hand me a full platter this time. It was a decent sized plate with plenty of food. My eating seemed to ease the tension and everyone started talking again.

"Can I give you a hug?" Kisa asked shyly.

"Sure!" I said. I accepted her hug, noting with some disdain that I felt as slim as Kisa. I made a mental note to gain a lot of weight after the surgery.

"I'm sorry," said Hiro, looking guilty.

"Why are you apologizing?" I asked, letting Kisa go.

"I went a little too far. I didn't realize that you were thin because…"

I smiled. "It's fine! You only said those things out of concern for me!!"

Hiro blushed. "I-I-I—"

I hugged him tightly. "Thanks for being concerned for me!!"

"Careful, Kagura!!" joked Ayame. "You'll suffocate Hiro if you hug him any tighter!!"

"I'll come and see you in the hospital," said Momiji. 

"Thanks," I said.

"Does Akito know about the surgery?" asked Yuki.

I nodded. "He's providing family funds to pay for it."

"Well, it's good to see Akito doing something good for once."

I talked with everyone for a long time. They tentatively asked about my cancer, and I tried to make jokes out of them. I was having so much fun with everyone, the time just flew.

Hatori looked at his watch. "It's almost nine. I need to get Kagura home."

"Already?" I asked. "Can't I stay longer?"

"No. You need to rest up. The surgery may be next week, but that doesn't mean you can go all out. You'll need your strength."

I nodded and stood up slowly. "I had lots of fun today."

Everyone stood up to give me hugs. I was a little disheartened to see Kyo still sitting. He hadn't said a word since Hatori announced my cancer to everyone. 

"I'll send you some flowers," promised Momiji. "I've been saving my allowance."

"So will me," said Shigure. "Haven't done much with money lately. I think I'll send two dozen roses."

"Two dozen, Shigure-san?" I asked. "You don't have to send me that many!"

"Oh, but I want to!"

I knew there was no talking him out of it. After everyone promised to send me flowers, Hatori tapped me on the shoulder to remind me that we needed to get going.

As we left the room, I noticed that Kyo still hadn't stood up. He wasn't even looking at us. Even if he rejected me, I couldn't just leave it like this.

"Bye, Kyo-kun," I said, hoping to get his attention.

Kyo scoffed, not even bothering to look at me.

"Let's go, Kagura," said Isuzu. Sighing sadly, I nodded and we both followed Hatori out of the house. I was just about to get in the car when I heard a soft voice from the front door.

"Kagura-chan…"

I stopped and turned. Tohru stood at the front door. Even in the late night I could see the tears filling her eyes. I closed the car door and approached the house. "What's wrong, Tohru?"

She tried to stammer something out, but nothing came out. She started trembling, the tears releasing from her eyes. She ran forward and hugged me tightly.

"I'm so sorry!!" she sobbed loudly. "I'm so sorry I treated you terribly!! I should've thought of your feelings!! But when I saw you so thin and sickly, I thought you were…I'm so inconsiderate!! I never thought about what you were feeling when we threw those accusations at you!! Please don't hate me!!"

I managed a smile and I hugged her back. "I don't hate you, Tohru. Your assumption is just a natural reaction because I'm supposed to be a generally healthy girl. My feelings weren't hurt. In fact, just by making an assumption proves how concerned you were for me. I thank you for that. Please, stop crying. I'm going to make it."

Tohru sniffled, wiping her eyes. "Will you need a transplant?"

"Only if I want one Hatori said that people don't need two kidneys and can survive on one. Since my left one is perfectly fine he said I should be able to live a long life."

She nodded. "Thanks…wait, you need to get going!!" she bowed at the car, in Hatori's direction. "I'm sorry, Hatori-san!"

Hatori gave a slight wave, showing that he didn't mind.

"I'll come and visit you guys when I can," I assured Tohru. "I have to get going now."

"Okay. Take care, Kagura-chan."

I nodded and headed back towards the car. Inside, I could hear Yuki and Kyo screaming at each other incoherently. I knew they had gotten into another argument.

"Sorry guys," I said as I climbed into the backseat.

"It's fine," said Hatori. "I know Tohru means well."

"I was startled when she just pounced on you," said Isuzu. "She must've been really upset."

"I guess so."

"Everyone, hang on," said Hatori, starting to back up. It was going to be difficult getting out of there. It took Hatori a good half hour just to back up out of there entirely. "_Now we can head home."_

I was happy about having so much fun. I didn't realize how much it wore me out until I felt so tired. The silence in the car didn't help me. I found myself curling up in the backseat, falling into a deep sleep. I didn't even realize I had fallen asleep until voices startle me awake. 

"Kagura!!" Mom's voice.

"Don't worry, she's just exhausted." Hatori. 

I knew that I was home. And someone was carrying me. My eyes opened, but the lids felt like weights. Like I couldn't keep my eyes open for very long.

"Where's her room?" asked Hatori. I stared up at him, realizing that he was the one carrying me.

"I'll show you," said Mom, leading Hatori through our house. My eyes slid closed and I leaned my head against Hatori's shoulder. I hadn't expected him to carry me in. Then again, I _did fall asleep in his car._

Moments later, I felt my bed underneath me and Mom tucking me in. 

"My poor little girl…I wonder how she manages to stay so strong…" I felt Mom kiss me on the forehead, and something wet hit my face. I realized Mom was in tears.

"We should go downstairs," said Hatori. "I'll need to explain to you what will happen next week."

"…I understand." Mom kissed my forehead again before leaving me alone. 

I managed to open my eyes again. This time I kept them open. It was dark in my room. But Mom thought I was still asleep.

I sighed softly, turning onto my side. It was hard to remain strong. Especially when you're eighteen with cancer. It's strange how I managed to stay strong in front of everyone, when I was so terrified.

_I'm so scared, I thought, curling up into a ball. __What if the cancer spreads to my other kidney? What if it spreads to my intestine or pancreas or somewhere else? And what about the surgery? What if I wake during the surgery? What if I never wake up when they put me to sleep?_

My fingers sought out the lump in my back. A lump I loathed so much.

_Death could come so easily to me. If I fell asleep right now, would I wake up? Will I live long enough to go through the surgery? I'm so scared…_

The door to my room opened. I uncurled from my ball and raised my head. Isuzu walked into the room and sat down next to the bed. "How're you feeling?"

"Better," I answered. "I'm still tired, but not so much as before."

"Hatori's talking to your mom. Telling her what's gonna happen with the surgery next week."

I nodded. Silence filled the room after this. Then a question came to me.

"Isuzu, who carried me?"

"Eh? Oh, it was Hatori—"

"I mean, when I past out at the party. Who carried me upstairs?"

Isuzu paused for a brief moment before telling me.

"Kyo."

I sat up. "What? Kyo-kun?!" Kyo, who hadn't really said a word to me? Kyo, who didn't say a word to me _at all when I revealed my cancer? Kyo, who rejected me? _That _Kyo? _

"Yeah. When Haru and I entered the room everyone was freaking out. You were lying there on the floor, transformed and unconscious. Hatori came in and when he saw you he nearly panicked. I swear, he was about to send you to the hospital, but Kyo picked you up. No one knew what was wrong but he said you should rest in the guest room. We put you in there and while Hatori was checking your breathing you woke up."

I lay back down. "I don't understand…why would Kyo-kun do that? He never wanted to be near me before."

Isuzu shrugged. "I can't say. Whatever goes on in Kyo's head is Kyo's business. Anyways, try to rest up. Even if the surgery is next week, you need to preserve your strength."

"I know." I closed my eyes, feeling sleep coming to me easily.

I didn't like feeling so helpless. I didn't like the fact that I couldn't do too much or I'd hurt myself.

I just didn't like it.

I knew that the surgery was just the tip of the iceberg. After that came the recovery. Who knew how long that would take? 

It depressed me that I had cancer. It made me angry that someone my age could catch such a life-threatening disease. But hating fate wasn't going to make the cancer go away. I _had to accept it somehow._

Somehow. Even if I didn't know how. 


	3. Part 3

Part 3

My night's sleep was a lot easier on me, given my own inhibitions. But it wasn't like I could stay up all night. I needed my strength for my surgery.

I _did _awake though. And to a very intoxicating smell from the other room. I got out of bed, slightly embarrassed that I had fallen asleep in the clothes I wore yesterday, and opened my door.

I was greeted by quite a sight. The main room was filled with so many bouquets of flowers. Roses, daffodils, snapdragons, peonies, honeysuckle. All different types, all different colors.

Mom raised her head when I opened the door. "Oh Kagura! You didn't need to get up, I was about to bring you breakfast in bed."

"Thanks Mom," I said, eying all the flowers. "Where did these come from?"

"Delivery people have been dropping them off since early this morning," said Mom. "Apparently when you told the Juunishi, Akito made it clear to the entire family."

My jaw dropped. "The whole family is sending me flowers?!"

"It sure looks like it." The doorbell rang and Mom rang to get it. No doubt _more _flowers to add to the bunch. 

I carefully stepped over a vase of pink tulips and sat down in front of the table. It wasn't just flowers that surrounded me. Teddy bears, homemade pillows, and quilts were vaguely amongst the mountains of bouquets. All of the homemade items, ironically, had boar patterns stitched into them. Though I didn't know how they manage to make such things in such a short period of time, I was a little flattered. Sure, I would've preferred cat images over the boar, but the Cat wasn't exactly favored in the family and it would be rude to return them since they were homemade.

"Let's see if I can find someone I know," I murmured. I snatched up a card sitting amongst a vase of yellow daffodils on the table and read. "'Kagura-sama, I wish you the best and will pray for a speedy recovery. With much love...' Mom! Who's this guy?!"

"He's one of your uncles," said Mom, carrying in yet another bouquet and a package. 

"Uncle? I've never met him!"

Mom set down the bouquet and package and took my card. She read it briefly. "Well, he refers to you formally, so I guess you've never met."

I sighed and looked around the room again. "If this is what happens by finding out my cancer, I wonder what will be sent after I have my surgery!"

Mom shrugged. "I guess this is a way of the family showing that they care."

Isuzu entered in, and nearly tripped on a vase of white roses. "Morn—agh! What the hell is this?!"

"The family knows about Kagura's…condition," said Mom. I could tell she didn't want to directly mention my cancer. "So they've been sending get-well presents."

Isuzu picked up one of the teddy bears. "The _whole family_?!"

"It sure looks like it," I said. "While I appreciate it, I'd like to keep the ones from my friends in my room."

"I understand," said Mom. "Well, I have to finish breakfast. Isuzu, if anyone else comes can you greet them?"

"Yes," said Isuzu, sitting down. "Let's look for the main ones."

I nodded and started searching through the gifts next to me. Just ten seconds into my search Isuzu put a small bouquet in front of me. "This one's from Haru."

"Eh?" I sat back up and looked at the bouquet and card. The bouquet was just a dozen dark purple orchids. The card was sealed in an envelope. "How do you know this is from Haru?"

"Because I know Haru." Isuzu left it at that and went back to searching. I shrugged and opened the card.

"'Take care of yourself. Don't try to overdo it. Besides, I can't wait 'till you can pummel Kyo again. Haru'. Isuzu, you were right. This _is _from Haru."

"What'd he say?" she asked, not looking up from her search.

"He said I should get better quickly so I can pummel Kyo."

She managed a light laugh. "That's Haru for you."

I laughed too, but then sobered. I could tell Isuzu still harbored feelings for Haru. No matter how indifferent she acted, or how _nice _she was to Shigure. I don't even know why she broke up with him to begin with. But she never talked about it. If I tried to bring it up, she'd either change the subject or get angry and defensive. 

I didn't want to bring it up then. Isuzu had enough stress on her hands, helping Mom and Hatori take care of me. 

"Momiji," said Isuzu, lifting a large vase filled with daisies onto the table in front of me. The card wasn't sealed in an envelope, but I could tell by the childish card that Momiji sent it. 

It took us a while to sort through all the gifts. Mom finished cooking breakfast and helped us out. It was easy, though. Shigure had done as he promised and sent two dozen roses. Red roses, I might add. We all got a good laugh over it because we knew Shigure no doubt sent them to keep me in high spirits. 

"Aw, Hiro and Kisa sent me flowers together," I said, lifting up a small bouquet of sunflowers. 

Isuzu laughed. "Hiro can be a brat, but he melts easily for Kisa."

We both laughed. 

"Eh? This is separate." I picked up a seal envelope that wasn't with a bouquet or a gift. I tore it open and pulled out a pretty card. I opened it, ignoring the card writing and looked at the writing on the opposite side.

"_Kagura, it was quite a shock to hear about your cancer. I know I apologized before, but I still feel so guilty. I know everyone is getting you fancy presents, but at the moment I can't really afford anything outside of this card. It's a pathetic excuse, but I promise to get you something very nice for when your surgery is over. I hope you don't mind that Yuki and Kyo signed this card too, since they didn't have much money. It may not show, but they both care about you very much. I know I'm just going around in circles, so I'll stop here. Take care of yourself and remember that you're in our hearts. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to call us. Love, Tohru, Yuki, Kyo_."

Tears filled my eyes as I read the card. I sniffled quietly, wiping at my eyes.

"What's wrong?" asked Isuzu.

"Nothing," I answered, sniffling again. "Tohru sent me this beautiful card. Yun-kun and Kyo-kun signed it too."

"Hmm. I guess Kyo has a good side to him after all."

"It's no big deal."

"I have to agree with Haru by saying you should pummel him when you get better."

I laughed sadly. "Isuzu, I'm not going to pummel Kyo-kun. There's really no point anymore. I confessed to him, he turned me down. Pummeling him won't make him love me. And I…I think I'm beginning to accept that. Kyo-kun loves Tohru. Being around her makes him happy, so I won't hate her or spoil that for him."

Isuzu was silent for several long moments. Then she said, "Yeah, Kyo's happy around Tohru. But who's making _you _happy, Kagura? You've had to deal with his rejection _and _cancer! How many other eighteen-year-olds have to do that? Kyo rejected you, yes. But that doesn't mean he can just treat you like shit anyways!!"

"Isuzu—"

"And don't you deny it! When you said goodbye to him, he blew you off!! It's like he doesn't care!"

"Isuzu, please!" I yelled, tears running down my face.

"…I'm sorry."

"No, you're right. I don't know why Kyo-kun was acting so cold to me. But I do think Tohru can make him happy. And if he's happy, then I'm happy." _You're a liar; you don't want him to be happy with Tohru. You don't even _want _him with Tohru…_

"Tohru is a naïve idiot," said Isuzu. "She doesn't realize how Kyo feels. Hell, she doesn't even realize how Yuki feels and he flirts with her all the time!"

I laughed a little. "How did this turn from an attack on Kyo-kun to an attack on Tohru?"

Isuzu laughed too. "I guess it's getting out of hand."

A cough startled us both. We turned to see Hatori standing in the doorway. He looked slightly surprised to see all the flowers, though his face still had its usual neutral expression.

"Good morning," he said. "Kagura, it's time for a check-up."

I stood up slowly. "Okay."

The check-up was pretty routine. He asked me if I felt any severe pains, and if I had lost consciousness as I had the day before. Hatori gave me check-ups a little too often than I would've preferred, but I knew he did it because he was worried. I had a good idea that I was the first cancer patient he'd ever taken care of.

After my check-up, he glanced about the main room again. "Are these from the whole family?"

"I guess so."

"No matter. By the way, I spoke with Akito earlier. He wants to have a word with you."

My blood froze. Akito wanted to talk to me? Why? What was he going to pull?

"I don't think that's a good idea," said Isuzu, and it made me look at her. Ever since her 'accident', she'd referred to Akito with a lot of malice. I wasn't going to jump to conclusions, but considering how Akito hurt Hatori's eye, injured Kisa to a point that she was in the hospital for two weeks, emotionally and physically abused Yuki, and manhandled Tohru, I had a strong suspicion that he had an involvement in Isuzu's 'accident'. However, it appeared that I was the only one (besides Hatori) who thought that way.

"I don't think Akito would cause harm to Kagura," said Hatori. "After all, he's putting up the family's money for the operation. I doubt he'd want to spend more due to 'new injuries'."

"I agree," I said. "Besides, you said Akito pitied me because I was sick like he was. I don't think he'd harm me."

Isuzu shrugged. "If he _does _harm you, I'll march over there and beat the shit out of him. I don't care that he's the head of the family or might have a fever."

"_I _won't let anything happen," said Hatori. "And if he does try anything, I'll simply remind him of your cancer."

I nodded to this. I felt very uncomfortable about going to see Akito. But it wasn't like I could avoid it at all.

---

I seated myself comfortably on the floor in Akito's room, my heart slamming against the wall of my chest. Akito was on the other side of the room, looking healthier than usual. Hatori took a seat nearby, but it didn't help to calm my nerves.

"So," said Akito. "You have kidney cancer."

"Yes," I said, keeping my voice steady.

"Aw, what a pity. And here I thought _I _was the only one with a life-threatening disease. Well, that makes me feel even less pathetic."

If that was supposed to be a compliment, then I didn't want it.

Akito got up and walked over to me. "It's strange how cancer works. Tiny cells that refuse or simply cannot stop growing. And then it attaches itself to an organ of some sorts and slowly kills it." he stood over me. "That's what's happening to your kidney right now. It's slowly rotting inside you."

I shuddered. I didn't want to hear this. "That's why the entire kidney is being removed."

"Yes, Hatori told me such." He started petting my head with limp fingers. I didn't know if that was a comfort gesture or if he was mocking me. "You poor thing. Eighteen years old and you could die so easily. Whether it's in five years or ten months or even in five minutes."

My head shot up. Was he threatening me?

"Don't worry. With the mass amount of money I'm spending on your life, I would hope you'd live long enough to go through the surgery." He toyed with a loose strand of my hair. I eyed that strand, remembering hearing about how Akito roughly grabbed Tohru by her hair, yanking strands out.

"Um, thanks," I managed as an answer.

"But you do realize." Akito leaned in close to me, staring at me with mocking eyes. "That by having cancer and having surgery will not make Kyo love you."

_That _hurt. I knew it was true, but it still hurt hearing that. 

"I know," I said, wishing he would get away from me. "And that's fine. I wouldn't want Kyo-kun to be sad if anything happened to me." _Liar, liar, liar…_

Akito looked startled, as if expecting me to deny what he was saying. But he quickly recovered himself. "Yes, I can see it now. That damned Cat doesn't have too much longer to live on the outside, but seeks to have Tohru. Wouldn't that be nice? Seeing them holding hands as they walked to school? Seeking little kisses every now and then? Loving each other ever so sweetly in what little time he has left…"

I knew I was crying. I could feel the tears sliding down my face. I knew what he was doing. Despite the fact that he somewhat pitied me, he was exercising his control over the family to torture the part of me that still loved Kyo. And because of that, his words caused mental pictures. I said that I was happy if Kyo was happy, but seeing and thinking about such things was _not _making me happy. I gave a small whimper and lowered my head, not wanting to see Akito anymore. 

"Akito, that's enough," said Hatori. "Don't put so much emotional stress on her. We had an incident yesterday where she past out due to the stress. She was lucky enough to wake up, but what if she doesn't next time?"

Akito glanced briefly at Hatori before sighing and moving away from me. "I understand. I wish you a speedy recovery, _Kagura_."

Hatori helped me stand up and lead me out of the room. I was trying to control my tears, but they couldn't stop.

_My feelings are useless. Kyo will always love Tohru. And even if Kyo _did _love me, when he turns eighteen Akito is going to lock him away for good. Either way, in the end I'm the one who suffers the most…_

I tried to stop my tears when I entered my house, but I couldn't stop them. Mom was upset to see me crying and tried to comfort me. Isuzu was absolutely livid.

"That's it," she said, standing up. "I'm going over there and kicking his ass."

"Isuzu, don't!" cried Mom. "I don't know what kind of pain he caused my daughter. I'd hurt him too if I could. But he's too powerful. He could extract _any _kind of revenge on you and he'd have the entire family backing him up!"

"Do you think I care?! Look at her!! Her surgery is next week, she _does not _need the stress!!" she headed for the front door.

"What will it accomplish by challenging him?" asked Hatori. Isuzu stopped in her tracks. "Nothing. Kagura will still have her cancer and hurt feelings. All you will get is being ostracized by the whole family."

"I'm already ostracized," barked Isuzu. "Believe me, what Akito does to me can't be any worse than it already is now." She started walking again.

"Isuzu, please," I spoke up. "Akito really didn't do anything wrong. He just spoke the truth and it hurt my feelings."

Isuzu turned to me. "Truth?"

"He said that having this cancer wouldn't make Kyo-kun love me."

"_That's _what you consider not doing anything wrong?!"

"What good will it do me to hide from the truth? Please, don't beat him up! Please?"

Isuzu stood there for several long moments before cursing and sitting back down. "I won't hurt him. But I'm not forgiving him, either."

"I think it would be wise if you stay here for the remainder of the time before your surgery," advised Hatori. "I'll refuse any requests from Akito, but don't leave the house. Got it?"

I nodded. "Yes, Hatori. There isn't anywhere to go for me, anyways."

---

The next several days dragged on for me. Since I was under 'house arrest', I wasn't allowed to step outside. I could barely leave my own room! But I understood that Hatori didn't want any mishaps before my surgery. Though my lump didn't grow any bigger, the pains didn't go away. Nor did my fear. 

Hatori went over the procedure with me about my surgery. It was first thing in the morning, so I would have to go to the hospital and be checked into a room the night before surgery. He said that kidney surgery was done one of two ways: through the front or through the back. He told me that my surgery would be done through the back, since the lump was there. He also advised me not to drink or eat anything after midnight on the day of the surgery, but since I would be in the hospital then, the doctors and nurses would know not to give me anything.

He didn't tell me any of the risks, though I'm sure he told Mom. Then again, I didn't _want _to know any of the risks involving the surgery.

So I stayed inside my house. All that time I tried not to think about what Akito had said to me, but it kept replaying itself in my head like a broken record.

"_But you do realize that by having cancer and having surgery will not make Kyo love you_."

"_Yes, I can see it now. That damned Cat doesn't have too much longer to live on the outside, but seeks to have Tohru. Wouldn't that be nice?_"

"_Seeing them holding hands as they walked to school?_"

"_Seeking little kisses every now and then?_"

"_Loving each other ever so sweetly in what little time he has left…_"

_Stop it_, I ordered myself. _You don't need this stress!!_

But the words didn't stop.

"_Seeing them holding hands as they walked to school?_"

"_Seeking little kisses every now and then?_"

I covered my ears, but it didn't stop Akito's mocking voice.

"_Loving each other ever so sweetly in what little time he has left…_"

I squeezed my ears tightly in my hands, but the voices wouldn't stop.

"…_having cancer and having surgery will not make Kyo love you_."

"Kagura?"

I whimpered softly to myself.

"_Thank you, Kagura. But I don't feel the same way_."

"Kagura!"

My eyes snapped open, tiny teardrops sliding out. Isuzu was standing over me, a worried expression on her face. "What's wrong?"

I quickly scrubbed my eyes and sat up. "It's nothing. What did you need, Isuzu?"

"Get up. We're going to Shigure's house."

"What?! Isuzu, my surgery is in three days!"

"Do you think I give a shit? C'mon!"

"Why are you doing this?!"

"Why? Because for the past several days you've been moping around here thinking about Kyo! I doubt he's thinking about you, but we're going to find out if he is!!"

"Isuzu, I haven't been mop—" I stopped and blushed. She was right. All I've done is think about Kyo and what Akito said to me.

Isuzu gave my arm a tug. "Let's go."

"You know Hatori won't approve of this!"

"Who says he has to know? It'll only take a little while."

"But we don't have a car!"

"It's fine. I'll carry you."

"Who will hug you so you can transform."

"I have someone in mind."

Mere minutes later I was sitting outside my house with Isuzu, who was waiting for someone. Sure enough, I saw Shishou not too far away.

"Bingo," said Isuzu. "Call him over."

I waved my hand. "Shishou!"

He spotted him and wandered over. Shishou, (Kazuma was his first name) helped train Kyo, Haru, Yuki, and me to some extent in martial arts. Out of all of us he had a strong attachment to Kyo and saw him as a son. I always respected him for it, as many Sohma family members avoided him because of it.

"Kagura," he said, giving me a small smile. "Are you feeling better?"

"My surgery is in three days," I said. "So Hatori's had me kept inside 'till then. This is my first time outside in a while."

"That's good. When I heard you had cancer, it was pretty shocking. I mean, you're healthier than most of the other Juunishi. I wanted to send you flowers, but I've had no time lately to go shopping."

"Oh, it's fine! I've gotten so many bouquets that we've had to put them outside of the house!"

"Well, I'll get you something for when you're done with surgery."

"Thanks!"

Isuzu sighed impatiently. "Whatever." She walked over and quickly hugged Shishou.

*POOF!!!!!!!!!*

"Let's go," said Isuzu, now a Horse.

"I have to go," I told Shishou, who was slightly stunned. "Thanks for the help!"

"Um, sure," said Shishou, forcing a smile.

I scooped up Isuzu's outfit and climbed onto her back. She bolted off of the family grounds. I suspected that a few family members saw us, but it didn't matter at the moment. "How much time 'till we get there?"

"A few minutes," said Isuzu. "I have to hurry, though. Who knows when I'll transform back?"

"Speaking of which, how will we get home?" I asked. 

"I'll call a cab when we get there."

"Oh. Wait, why didn't we just do that in the first place?"

"I don't have any money."

"Oh."

As expected, we arrived at Shigure's house a few minutes later. No sooner did I climb off Isuzu's back did she transform.

"I wonder if anyone's home?" I said observing how quiet it was.

"Let's see," said Isuzu. We walked to the front door. She opened it, only to come face-to-face with someone she probably didn't want to see.

Haru.

Both stood silent, staring at each other. Isuzu shook her head and I knew she was putting on her indifferent attitude. "What are you doing here?"

I saw by the look in Haru's face that he was becoming Black Haru. I backed up away from the scene. I knew Isuzu could handle Haru in any form, but I couldn't. As I backed away I came in contact with a ladder.

Ladder?

I stared up to the roof. Yes, the ladder led up there. That meant someone was up there.

That someone was most likely Kyo. 

Ignoring the fact that this would no doubt put a lot of stress on me, I started climbing the ladder. Below me, Isuzu and Black Haru were yelling at each other. I wished they wouldn't argue like that.

I continued climbing, and almost to the top I could feel the strain on my kidney. I took a short breather before continuing. I knew I shouldn't be climbing the ladder, but I felt I had to. Despite my own inhibitions, Isuzu was right. I still loved Kyo. He may never love me, but I certainly loved him. And I also knew I needed to see him one more time before my surgery. That's why I finally agreed to come. Because I could die on that operating table and my last memory of Kyo would be him scoffing at me when I left.

Finally, I reached the top of the ladder and the roof. My heart started pounding as I poked my head over the ladder, seeing a head of orange hair. Kyo was lying on the roof, his hands behind his head, his eyes closed. He was either asleep or doing a great job ignoring Isuzu and Black Haru's yelling.

I hesitantly crawled over to him, trying not to make a sound. I seated myself next to him, amazed that I hadn't been so close to him in so long. I wanted to just sit there next to him, not making a sound, but that wouldn't have been a lasting memory for me. I needed to talk to him.

So, I gently touched his arm and gave him a light shake. His eyes snapped open and he stared right up at me.

I managed a small smile. "Long time no see, Kyo-kun." 


	4. Part 4

Part 4

I would be lying if I said he looked like he was glad to see me. On the contrary, he looked terrified. And I didn't know why.

"Have you been doing all right?" I asked, smiling.

Kyo sat up, not looking at me. "What're you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be getting rest before your surgery?"

"What? Can't I visit my cousin every once and a while?"

He snorted. "I didn't ask you to come."

His words stung me, but I ignored it. "Even so, I wanted to see you."

Kyo glared at me. "You see, this is your problem. You think only of yourself. You do things without consulting anyone. Even if they don't want to comply, you still force it on them. When are you gonna learn you can't do that?!"

I was taken aback. I knew that Kyo never liked me, but I had expected a much nicer approach. Especially since I had a life-threatening disease.

"Why are you being so cross with me?" I demanded, feeling hurt.

"Why are _you _acting all buddy-buddy with me?!" Kyo growled. "Pretending that we're close friends—"

"Why pretend?! We use to be close friends!!"

"That was a long time ago!! Can't you get with reality?!"

"Oh, a fine thing to say to someone with cancer!!" Tears started to fall from my eyes. "Facing reality is one of the hardest things for me to do because I know that I'm dying!!!"

Kyo just stared at me for several long moments, before closing his eyes. "Why are you doing this?"

I blinked. "What?"

"_This_. Laying this guilt-trip on me like it's my fault you have cancer."

"I'm not laying a guilt-trip on you!! I just wanted to see you!! Is that suddenly a crime?!"

"You _are _laying a guilt-trip on me!! God, I can't even say anything to you without being reminded about your cancer!!"

"Well it's good that you're talking, since this is the first you've spoken to me since Hatori announced my condition!!!"

We glared at each other. This was not the way I had planned out this meeting. I wanted to make amends with Kyo. But now that we were screaming down each other's throats it was impossible.

"I've had nothing to say." Kyo moved towards the ladder. "Forget it, I'm turning in early. Good luck with your surgery."

"If you don't care about me, Kyo-kun," I said shakily. "Then why did you carry me upstairs when I passed out?"

Kyo froze and turned to look at me. I could tell by the expression on his face that he didn't want me to know about that.

"Because everyone was being stupid," he answered. "Yelling and carrying-on. It was getting on my nerves."

I stood up onto shaking legs steadily, though the roof was on a slope. "Do you really hate me that much? That you can't even manage to be nice to me at a time like this?"

A strange emotion flickered into Kyo's eyes for just a moment, and then those eyes went neutral. "There you go again, trying to—"

He didn't finish his sentence. Whether it was my emotional duress or weakened state, but I lost my footing on the roof. With a shriek my body toppled over, slamming into the stone and quickly sliding down to the edge.

"Kyo-kun!!" I cried, grabbing the edge of the roof just in time. I was dangling just above the front yard. I spared a glance down; silently hoping Shigure's small balcony was beneath me. To my horror I realized it was on the other side of the house.

Kyo had made it over to me and grabbed of my hands. "Hang on!! Shit, why did you have to stand up on a roof?"

Tears stung my eyes again as I got a firm grip on his hands. "I'm sorry—"

"Never mind, just don't let go!!"

I let out a wail at the pain that spread through me. The strain I had felt earlier on my kidney was now causing me full-blown pain. Pain that easily rivaled the pain I had endured on the night I had past out. It hurt so much I couldn't find my focus.

"Pay attention, idiot!!" barked Kyo. "Or do you wanna fall?!"

"M-M-My kidney," I choked out, trying to help Kyo pull me back up while trying even harder to ignore the pain. "I-I-It's hu-rting—"

Panic filled Kyo's eyes. "Shit, this is why you shouldn't have come!!! Hey!!!" he screamed down at the ground. "Get help!!"

The arguing between Haru and Isuzu stopped abruptly. I heard Isuzu scream and Haru say, "I'll get Shigure!!"

"Don't let go!!" Isuzu yelled up to me, but I could hear the panic in her voice.

"Shit," Kyo grunted, managing to pull my upper body up onto the roof. His grip on my hand loosened as my free hand settled on the roof and attempted to push me up.

The pain grew stronger. I gasped at the immensity of it and my free hand lost its position. I slid back off the roof, my chin slamming into the stone tiles. I would have fallen off entirely if Kyo had let go of my hand. Once again I was dangling off the roof with Kyo keeping me from falling. I was feeling dazed from the kidney pains and the blow I suffered when I fell chin-first onto the roof. I knew I was about to fall unconscious.

Kyo could tell too. "Stay awake!! You need to have your surgery in three days!! You need to survive long enough for Hatori to save your life!! _Stay awake_!!!"

I didn't expect Kyo to give me such comforting words. Especially after the way he had treated me just minutes before.

But I couldn't fight it. Kyo's encouragement and the yells from below from everyone that was in the house didn't help. All I could do was manage a weak smile to Kyo as my eyes slid closed.

_You may not show it much, but your concern shows that you do care about me, Kyo-kun. I know I will never be able to have your love, but knowing that you care is enough for me…_

---

"I had the best intentions—"

"I don't want to hear it!!! Do you realize what could've happen?!"

The yelling was what woke me up. I felt déjà vu all over again. Once again I was in the guest room of Shigure's house and I heard yelling. But this was different. This yelling felt like it was upstairs and not downstairs. And it sounded like Isuzu and Hatori. This was a shocker because I'd never heard Hatori yell before.

"I expected better judgment from you, Isuzu!!!! Taking someone with a terminal illness away without consulting anyone!!! No one here has any medical experience!!! What if her kidneys collapsed?! I wouldn't have been able to help her since I was not in the vicinity!!!"

"If you'd actually let her get some air instead of keeping her inside—"

"Don't you tell me how to act as a doctor!!! It was for her own personal safety!!! She didn't have any other problems until today!!!"

"Hatori—"

"No, I don't want to hear another word!! If you _ever _do this again, I swear there will be hell to pay Isuzu!!! And that hell won't come from Akito either!!!!"

"Hatori sounds angry," I muttered to myself.

"I can understand why," said a soft voice next to me. "I mean, Rin-san and you just took off without a word to anyone and you nearly fell off the roof."

Startled, I turned my head and saw Tohru. She wore a worried expression, but she looked relieved to see that I was all right.

"I bet Hatori will come in here to yell at me," I sighed, rubbing my forehead with a weak arm. "I mean, I'm equally to blame for this."

Tohru shook her head. "I doubt Hatori-san will put you under more stress. I think he'll save any lecture until after you've fully recovered."

I sighed again. "When I passed out, did I fall off the roof?"

"No. Kyo-kun was very brave and hung onto you even after he tired. When Hatori arrived he reset up the ladder and Kyo lowered you into his arms."

"Oh."

"Why did you come today, Kagura-chan?" Tohru started trembling. "When we saw you hanging there looking limp, we thought you were…" She let out a shaky sigh. "Hatori-san thought that too. That's why he yelled at Rin-san."

I felt even guiltier seeing Tohru in such a state and knowing the horrible worry I gave Hatori. "I'm so sorry. I didn't come out here with the intention of hurting anyone. It's just that…" Tears started to slide from my eyes down my face. "I wanted to talk to Kyo-kun. I hadn't spoken with him in so long, and I…I just wanted to talk. I mean, we hadn't said a word to one another since Hatori told everyone I had cancer."

Tohru wiped at her wet eyes. "I think Kyo-kun is just in a dilemma. When you left that night, Kyo-kun and Yuki-kun got into an argument about you."

I stared at her. "That's why they were yelling?"

"Yes. When you left the room Yuki-kun said something like, '_What a horrible attitude. Nothing less from the Cat_.' He was mad that Kyo-kun was rude to you when you left."

I forced a smile. I never spoke much with Yuki, but I was happy that he had stuck up for me.

The door suddenly opened and someone entered, muttering something like, "That damn Cat's always—"

"Yuki-kun, Kagura-chan's awake!!" said Tohru.

Yuki stopped muttered and gave me a small smile. "Are you all right, Kagura?"

"Yes. Thanks for worrying about me."

"Everyone's worried about you. You should've seen Hatori a few minutes ago—"

"We heard him. He didn't have to yell at Isuzu like that."

"Well, I can see where he's coming from. Hatori may not show it, but he's genuinely concerned for you. The Sohma's had never had a cancer victim so young in the family. He wants to make sure that you pull through this all right. Rin and you running off without speaking with him first isn't exactly an idea he favors. Especially after what happened today."

I winced inwardly. "I'm sorry."  

Yuki waved his hand. "I understand why you did it. Even if I was the sickest person in the world, I'd risk it to see the person I loved most."

He was staring at Tohru when he made this statement, but Tohru was either oblivious or ignored it. Knowing Tohru, I'd say it was the former. 

"It's not like that," I told him. "I just…wanted to talk to him."

"Well, he's locked himself up in his room acting all broody. He won't talk to anyone and yells whenever anyone tries."

I laughed a little. "I want to thank him for his help."

"Good luck. He's not opening the door for anyone. Not even Hatori."

As if right on cue, Hatori entered the room.

"I see that you're awake," he said calmly. Despite this calmness his face was faintly pale. "Yuki, Tohru, can you excuse us?"

Tohru gave my hand a squeeze before Yuki and her left the room. Hatori walked over to me and sat down. He opened his medical bag.

"Hatori—" I began.

"Have you felt any pains since you woke up?" he interrupted calmly, getting out a stethoscope. 

"No." I knew what he was doing. He was avoiding talking about coming here so I wouldn't feel any stress. "Hatori—"

"Take a deep breath." He started checking my breathing, which was a clue for me to be quiet. I did keep quiet as he did a routine check up on me. Judging from his demeanor towards me, I could tell I was better than before. After he was done, I decided to speak again.

"Hatori—"

He put up a hand to silence me. "Stop. I plan on talking to you about this Kagura, just not today. I _did _talk to Isuzu however and she agreed never to do this again. Can I have you word for it too?"

"Of course," I responded. "I'm sorry—"

"Good. We'll deal with it at a later date. For now, I'm taking you home. Your mother is completely worried."

Guilt consumed me all over again and I couldn't hide it. Hatori of course was able to see it.

"I'm glad to see that you regret this. That'll stop you from pulling this again. Let's go." He made a motion to lift me up.

"I can walk—" I began.

"I'm not risking anything, Kagura. Not after what happened today." He lifted me up easily into his arms. My face turned red as I realized he'd be carrying me throughout the house like this. 

"Take care of yourself," said Tohru, forcing a smile.

"Thank you," I said as Hatori carried me towards the stairs. It was then that the door to Kyo's room opened and he stepped out. He froze on the threshold and stared.

I held out a hand to him. "Thank you, Kyo. For saving my life."

He eyed my hand for several long moments before he sighed and took my hand. I squeezed his hand gently and then let go as Hatori continued down the hall and down the stairs. Shigure was waiting for us at the bottom.

"Haru and Rin are already in the car," he told Hatori. "Be sure our princess gets her rest."

"Sorry for the trouble, Shigure," said Hatori.

"No trouble at all, Ha-san. Have a safe drive home."

As we left the house I noticed that it was night. I didn't realize just how long I was unconscious.

"I'm sorry, Hatori," I murmured.

"Kagura, I said—"

"I know that. But I can't help but say it. Isuzu really did bring me here with the best of intentions."

Hatori stopped walking and sighed sadly.

"I know that, Kagura. But as the family doctor…more than that, as your family, I feel responsible for you. It's my mission as a doctor to help people. And if anything were to happen to the people I help…"

He trailed off and recovered himself. "But that's for another day. Right now let's focus on getting you home and into bed."

He started walking again. I leaned my head against his shoulder, grateful for the amount of help he has given me. 

I knew we were close to the car when I heard yelling.

"Don't tell me they're arguing again," Hatori muttered, shaking his head. "I should've known this would happen."

As we drew nearer, I heard the yelling more clearly.

"Leave me the hell alone!!" yelled Isuzu.

"What, still running away?!" snarled Black Haru. "Not so tough anymore, are you? So much of a rebel that you have to drag Kagura into it too!!! I bet you got a rush seeing her lifeless body _dangling from the roof_!!!"

"Fuck you, you bastard!!!! I know what I did was wrong!!! I don't need you trying to lay a guilt trip on me when I already feel like shit!!!" 

"That's enough, both of you!!" snapped Hatori. "You will both keep civil tongues or you will walk home. Haru, Isuzu has already been lectured by me. I don't recall giving you the authority to resume it."

Black Haru was gradually fading until Haru was back to normal. He stared at Isuzu awkwardly, who was on the verge of tears.

"Haru, you're riding up front. Isuzu, you're in the back with Kagura. If I hear a peep out of either of you, you're out of the car."

Hatori carried me over to the car. Haru and Isuzu climbed in, each looking disgruntled. Isuzu opened the door for Hatori and he gently put me inside.

I leaned my head against the car door, grateful for the silence in the car. Hatori would someday give me a lecture about tonight. My hope was that I would live long enough for that to happen. 

---

Abiding to Hatori's and Mom's wishes, I didn't go anywhere for the remaining days. Mom kept a cold distance from Isuzu, though I insisted that she drop it. I knew she wasn't to drop it anytime soon. Especially since she heard that I dangled unconscious from the roof for almost an hour.

One thing I was pleased about was the family's response to Kyo. They all despised him because he was the Cat. But since he saved my life, they had become more appreciative towards him. Once I heard two family members walk by my window, talking about the unfairness of the Cat having to be locked up. Though it pleased me, I silently prayed that Akito didn't hear such comments. He'd use his power to make Kyo's life even more miserable than it already was.

And it was no doubt miserable. I knew that both Yuki and Kyo loved Tohru deeply. But when they were talking to me, Yuki's feelings towards her were very evident. He was never one for such a direct approach and I could tell he was taking an indirect approach. But I could've sworn, though it could be just wishful thinking on my part, that Tohru somewhat responded to Yuki. In an indirect way, of course.

I don't know, but she seemed much closer to Yuki than Kyo. Of course, this still might be wishful thinking.

Isuzu wasn't having a good time, either. I spoke with her often, but she seemed very glum. The day after the incident, to my shock, she came home with a black and blue mark around her eye. When I asked what happened she grudgingly told me she had another accident. But, judging from the bruises on her knuckles and the fact that Hatori didn't stop by at all that day, it seemed like Akito tried to beat her up and she fought back. Though that put her in better spirits, it didn't help her relationship with Haru any. In fact they seemed even more distant than usual.

Unfortunately, I didn't have time to dwell on the problems of everyone else. I had my own fears to worry about.

The date of my surgery had arrived.

Hatori came to see me during the afternoon the day before my surgery, looking very tired. He told me Akito needed some extra treatment to explain why he hadn't been by, while glaring at Isuzu. I knew then that Isuzu had indeed fought Akito and had won, but I was worried because I knew Akito would get revenge on her.

"Are you all set?" he asked me.

"Got her bag!" said Mom, hoisting a heavy bag over her shoulder.

"When we get there, I'm going to make the marks of the areas where the surgery will take place," Hatori told me. "Don't take a shower after the marks are made. And you better not eat or drink anything after midnight. The surgery will be at 8:30 tomorrow morning. Do you understand?"

I nodded. "I'm ready." I turned to Isuzu. "Are you coming?"

Isuzu shook her head. "I'll keep an eye on the house. But I'll come and see you right after you get out of the surgery."

I felt a lump in my throat. I didn't want to leave her alone like this, especially after the fight she had with Akito. But she assured me she would be all right, leaving me to worry about my surgery again.

"Let's hurry now," said Hatori. Mom and him were already heading to the front door. "We'll need to get you settled in."

I gave Isuzu a warm hug. "Bye."

"Take care of yourself," she told me, hugging me back. She let me go and I turned to follow Hatori and Mom out the door.


	5. Part 5

Part 5

The ride to the hospital was in silence. I much preferred it that way. I knew that Hatori and Mom were going to shower me with reassurances that I didn't want when I got to the hospital, so I welcomed the silence. No matter how uncomfortable it was.

My stomach was doing flip flops; like I was about to be sick. But I had barely eaten anything that day so I knew I wasn't going to throw up. I didn't complain; I just squeezed Mom's hand which was locked in mine.

"Here we are," said Hatori, pulling into the hospital parking lot. I saw the parking building, but he drove down a road away from the front entrance. "Down here is patient parking. For the time being we can park here."

I found myself staring up at the hospital through my window. Here it was. It was time to remove my cancerous kidney. My life was going to be saved.

But I was so scared.

"Kagura," Mom said gently as the car came to a stop. "Are you ready?"

"No," I admitted, staring at my lap. "But I can't prolong this. Not if I want to live."

We started up to the hospital, entering in through the entrance for the patients. Hatori lead the way with his usual calm. Mom didn't let go of my hand, which I found reassuring. 

We entered a large area where there were many seats and a large television in one of the ceiling corners showing a commercial of some sort. The waiting room.

"Sign in here," said Hatori. "I have to go and make sure preparations are secure. When they are I'll come back and get you." He left through a set of double doors next to the front counter.

"You go and have a seat," Mom told me. "I'll sign you in."

I nodded and headed over a seat near the television. I was wary of the men in the room, being very careful not to bump into anything or anyone as I sat down. I tried to keep myself occupied by watching the television, but it didn't work. I couldn't focus in on whatever program was on.

"Do you like what's on?" asked Mom, seating herself next to me.

"Yes," I lied.

We sat there in silence for several minutes, the murmurs of the other people in the waiting room the only noise over the television. Mom tried to busy herself by reading a magazine, but I knew that it wasn't working. I briefly glanced at her to see her blinking back tears as she flipped through the magazine. I took her hand and squeezed it again. It gave her some reassurance, but I knew she was still upset. Having cancer was one thing but having an eighteen-year-old daughter having cancer was a nightmare for any parent. Especially since they had to watch their child go through pain and knowing they can't directly help them. Seeing Mom's pain made me wish that I would never have to experience seeing one of my children getting cancer.

We waited for a half hour before Hatori came back. 

"Everything's set," he told us. "I'm going to take you up to your room now."

We walked through the halls of the hospital and got into an empty elevator. Hatori seemed to make sure that it was empty.

"It's a single room," he continued, talking directly to Mom. "So there'll be an extra bed for you to sleep in."

Mom nodded. "Thank you. Are the doctors…?"

"They're all female to avoid any complications."

"But what about you, Hatori?" I asked, concerned. What if he bumped into one of his assistants?

"I've had a lot of practice over the years in avoiding bumping into my assistants," Hatori assured me. "Don't worry."

We got off on one floor and he led us down the hall. "A very light dinner will be sent up to you. The night nurses already know this, but don't eat or drink after midnight."

I understood. If Hatori was serious about something I knew to take it seriously.

"Here we are," said Hatori, opening the door to a warm single room. A similar television to the one in the waiting room was in the corner. There were a lot of machines behind the hospital bed.

"What are those for?" I asked.

"They're to help you," said Hatori. "You can wear your pajamas to bed tonight, but when you get up early tomorrow you will get changed into a hospital gown. I'll give the details then. For right now get yourself comfortable."

I tried to. It was a very comfortable bed, but I was so nervous that I couldn't relax. 

"Your dinner should be coming in a few minutes," said Hatori. "I'm going to check on my assistants and then go home. If you have any problems of any sort, push the call button, okay?"

"Okay," I murmured.

Hatori walked over to me and put a hand on my shoulder. "Don't think about it tonight. If you do you'll lose sleep. Just relax and get as much rest as you can."

I nodded. "I'll try."

Hatori managed something close to a smile. "Everything's going to be all right, Kagura." He gave my shoulder a squeeze before he left the room.

The next several hours dragged on for me. I got my dinner and it surprisingly tasted good, but it didn't do much for me. After sipping some soup I felt that I couldn't eat any more. Soon, it was time for me to sleep.

But I couldn't sleep.

"Kagura, at least try to sleep," pleaded Mom. "You need your strength now more than ever."

"I know Mom," I said. "But I need to do something before I sleep. Can I have a pen and some paper?"

Mom got me what I wanted. I sat there, thinking about what to write. I didn't really know why I wanted to write or who to write to. Then it came to me.

Kyo.

But what could I say? Anything could happen tomorrow. I could die on the operating table. Or, when they open me up they could discover some sort of complication leading up to my death.

But I didn't know what I could say to him. He didn't love me; he loved Tohru. And he hardly acknowledged me as a friend. Would he even care about what I had to say?

_He cared enough to carry you upstairs when you past out and to hang onto you so you wouldn't fall off the roof_, a voice told me. _If you do die tomorrow, it's not like he'll immediately crumble up whatever you have to say. He'd _want _to read it. So you might as well be honest enough and put all your feelings into it._

Swallowing my reluctance, I set up my paper on the bed table pulled in front of me and began to write. Though I had not the slightest idea of what to write, the words were so suddenly coming to me. At that moment writing that letter felt like the most important thing to do.  
  
_Dear Kyo-kun,_

_I'm sorry to keep bothering you like this. It must be pretty annoying for you. All I can ask is that you at least read what I have to say._

_If you are reading this, then this means something went wrong with my operation and I'm either dead or don't have very much longer to live. Right now it's just hours before my operation and since I can't really call you now all I can do is write._

_First of all, thank you. Thank you for being a loyal friend to me when we were younger. I know things turned sour for us, but I believe that it's better to remember the good over the bad. Not that I only see bad in you. I see so much good in you, much like when you were a kid. The deep friendship you have forged with Yun-kun and Tohru really makes me happy. Knowing that being around those two makes you much happier in turn makes me happier._

_Secondly, I'm sorry for the way I treated you all these years. I've never been one to control my feelings, have I? Well, one good thing this cancer has brought me is the ability to control myself. I'm grateful for this since I didn't want to cause you any discomfort during the time I had left._

_When I think about it, I probably wasn't that great to be around anyway. Even with my cancer I still bothered and annoyed you. I hope you can forgive me for that. I also appreciate you saving my life that day. Whatever your reasons are for doing it, it gave me more time and that is worth anything._

_I'm afraid I have something else to ask you. Be happy, Kyo-kun. Know that despite what many say, you are surrounded by people who love you very much. I don't know if this will help, but your saving me has won you some respect amongst the other family members. I've often heard them speak highly of the Cat, and some even spoke against your fate. _

_Please have a happy life nonetheless. Have fun, take risks, and get into trouble. But most of all just be yourself. Know that you are loved. Yes, even by me too. I hope this fact doesn't annoy you too much, but I do love you very much. It is my love for you that compels me to write this. To encourage you to live your life to the fullest. I'm sorry for all the trouble. Please take care of yourself.  
  
With much love,  
Sohma Kagura_

I finished the letter, scrubbing the tears from my face to avoid having them land on the paper. I neatly folded the letter and wrote, '_Sohma Kyo_' on it. I tucked it into my bedspread and pushed away the bed table. "I'm done, Mom. Time to sleep."

Mom came over to me. She kissed me on the top of my head and hugged me tightly. "Tomorrow's a big day. Don't worry about a thing. Hatori-san will take care of you."  
  
---

I don't know how I ever got to sleep that night. I knew I had to stay calm, and I knew that Hatori was going to take care of me, but I still felt nervous. I was still fearful about what might happen to me during the surgery.

But I did fall asleep. And at quarter to six the next morning, Hatori was there to wake me up.

"Here's the hospital gown," said Hatori, placing it on the bed. "Take off all your clothes before you get into it."

"Even my underwear?" I asked.

Hatori nodded. "The gown opens in the back. Anything else you wear will no doubt get in the way. And be sure you go to the bathroom as well. Since you'll be put to sleep if you have a full bladder you'll go whenever."

I went into the bathroom and did what he asked. As I pulled on my dressing gown, I couldn't help but feel the lump in my back.

_No more after today,_ I thought, managing. _Whether I live or die this lump will be gone forever._

I left the bathroom, feeling a little self-conscious. Even if he was a doctor, Hatori was the last person I had ever expected would be the first man to ever see me naked. Much to my own embarrassment, I was turning red.

_Stop being childish_, I ordered myself. _Hatori is going to save your life. He doesn't care that you're naked!!_

"A stretcher will be in here in a few minutes," he said in his usual calm voice. "You'll get on it and we'll all go down to pre-op."

"Pre-op?" I asked, fidgeting a little.

"The area where people wait before surgery," Hatori explained. "There'll be others down there waiting for surgery. Don't worry; there are curtains around each part of the area. Down there I'll make the marks and we'll get you hooked up. Oh, and tie back your hair," he added. "We tuck it into a cap anyway, but many female patients complain of having knots in their hair if they wear it loose."

Mom was quick to tie my hair into a braid, but nothing spectacular. Just minutes later two nurses showed up with a stretcher. I made a quick grab for the note hidden in my bed and hurried over to Hatori.

"Hatori, if anything happens to me during surgery, could you give this to Kyo?" I held out the note to him. 

Hatori looked at the note and then at me. With a small smile he took the note from me. "You don't have to worry. But just in case."

"Thank you."

I got onto the stretcher. We walked down the hall, towards the elevator. I was surprised at how empty the hallway was. I had half-expected to see tons of doctors and nurses around. Then again, this wasn't exactly a critical area so lots of doctors and nurses was probably a good thing.

We reached pre-op a few minutes later. There were a few people about. Family members speaking with those who were preparing to go into surgery. Hatori directed the nurses to put me between two beds; one which was empty and the other which had an elderly man speaking with an elderly woman. Once we were situated, Hatori closed the curtains surrounding us.

Hatori handed me a small cap. "Tuck your hair into this. Since it's tied back it won't tangle."

I complied. 

"Good. Now I will need to take a sample of your blood. Not a whole pint, but just a little."

I complied, though it hurt a little. The blood was taken directly from the vein in my arm. Hatori took my blood sample and was gone for a few minutes. Then he came back.

"Okay, now I know you were getting comfortable, but I have to ask you to move so that you are lying on your stomach."

To my shame I turned red again. My whole backside was going to be exposed. But I knew that there was no time to be stupid. So I did what I was told, my face burning.

Hatori wasted no time. I heard a slight pop as if a cap came off and pressure in my lower back. I knew that he was making the marks with what smelled like permanent marker. He was speaking to Mom softly, but I caught some of his words. He was telling her where he was going to cut.

"Done," said Hatori, another pop as the cap went back onto the marker. "Now for the I.V. Generally it's inserted into the upper arm, but the way you are positioned it could make things complicated. I'm going to insert it into your hand. Is that all right?"

"Yes," I replied. He inserted the I.V. into my hand. It didn't hurt as much as it did when he drew blood, but it was still strange to look at. 

"Okay, I'm going to give you the anesthesia now," said Hatori. "Your surgery won't take too long, but it'll take about 12 hours before we can move you onto your back.

A sinking feeling coursed through. "I'll have to lie here like this and wait 12 hours?"

"Yes, but you won't notice it. You'll be unconscious the whole time. All of us will, though."

I felt a little more at ease, even when I saw him insert the needle directly into the I.V.

"All right," said Hatori. "I'm going to go get ready. My assistants will be by shortly to take her in."

"Thank you," said Mom.

"Hatori," I said numbly. I was starting to feel the effects of the anesthesia. "You won't forget, will you?"

Hatori walked over and stood close so that I could see him. He gave me a small smile. "I won't forget."

I smiled back. "Thank you."

Then he left. Mom stood there close to me, telling me stories of when I was little. I laughed a little with her, listening as closely as I could.  
  
---

"Kagura-san? Kagura-san, wake up."

"Eh?" I felt so groggy. The anesthesia was really affecting me. "Is it time…for my surgery?"

"No, the surgery's over. It was a success."

I groaned a little and forced my eyes open. Everything was so bright. I couldn't think clearly because my mind was so clouded. And my back was aching.

"It's over?" I groaned, feeling disoriented. I had no idea who I was talking to. I stared up at a woman over me. "I don't remember falling asleep."

"Yes, it's over. How are you feeling?"

"My back hurts."

"All right. Would you like something to dull the pain?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I'll do that now." She prepared a needle and inserted it into my I.V.. Quite frankly it hardly did anything for me; I was still in pain.

"Kagura?" this I welcomed. Hatori's voice. He sounded so exhausted, but relieved at the same time. "How are you feeling?"

"Groggy," I mumbled. 

"I gave her some anesthesia," said the nurse above me.

Hatori nodded. "All right, the 12 hours have elapsed. It's time to move her onto her back."

I heard a few people around me. Hatori came into my line of view. "Kagura, try not to move, okay? This'll take a few minutes, but you'll be on your back."

I managed a nod. Even if I didn't remember the 12 hours, I'm sure my body did and it was no doubt annoyed with this position.

It did take a while though, for them to move me onto my back. They were being very careful with me though, so I didn't complain. Plus my brain was so clouded I couldn't really complain anyways.

Finally, they set me on my back. It felt strange lying there. I couldn't really explain why it felt strange, but it did.

I absently observed my surroundings. "Are we back in pre-op?"

"No, this is post-op," said Hatori. "Looks the same, huh? Well, they brought down your bed from your room, which is what you're laying on now. We're going to take you up there now. Your mother is waiting for you."

I smiled weakly as they wheeled me out of post-op. It felt strange, knowing I had slept the day away. It still felt like early morning to me even though it was late at night.

We reached my room. Mom immediately stood up from the spare bed, tears spilling down her cheeks. "Kagura!! You're okay!!"

"The surgery was a success," Hatori informed her. The passage of time really sank in then as I took in the room. Not only was it dark, save the lights, but Mom looked extremely tired and very pale. Never in my life had I ever seen her so relieved.

Once I was settled back in, Hatori came over to me. He held out my note. "It looks like you won't need to give this to Kyo after all."

I took the note with a weak hand and a weak smile. "I guess not."  
  
Note: I hope no one got too bored with all the specifics in this story, but I felt it worked out better if I didn't rush the surgery. And I felt that it was a great way of conveying everyone's feelings. I hope no one thinks it's over. No, there's still lots to come.

 __


	6. Part 6

Part 6

My stay in the hospital was pleasant enough. Hatori told me due to the type of surgery I got I was required to stay in the hospital for about a week. It was quite an eventful week.

After I was put back into my room, Hatori went home for the night. He told us if we had any problems to push the call button. He also said that he would tell all the Juunishi that I was awake. From the way he spoke they all seemed anxious to know the results of my surgery.

Despite being unconscious all day the morphine and other medication in me to help dull the pain made me very tired. Not to mention I didn't have an appetite for anything, even though I hadn't eaten a thing all day.

My first night did seem uncomfortable. Twice I was woken up by nurses to go to the bathroom. I don't know what it was about hospital beds, but I didn't feel like going while I was in bed. Unfortunately they didn't want me moving too much, so I had to use a bedpan. It was very embarrassing for me, but I knew I had to deal with it if I wanted to have a speedy recovery.

When I woke up on my own the next morning, I was shocked at what I saw. It was like a reflection of the day the whole family found out I had cancer, but much worse. There were quilts, pillows, slippers, fruit baskets, stuffed animals, flowers, everything I could think of. Mom was humming to herself as she took care to a bouquet of yellow roses.

"Mom?" I asked groggily, the medication still affecting me. I had the feeling I was going to be groggy all week.

Mom turned to me and smiled warmly. "Good morning, Kagura."

"Did the family…?" I motioned with my free hand at everything as Mom came in and kissed me on the cheek.

"Yes," she said sweetly. "Mind you, there is so much more. But the morning nurses started getting annoyed so I had the delivery people send them to our house."

I nodded weakly. "What time is it? I'm a little hungry."

"It's still early, but they should be bringing up your breakfast soon."

I don't know what people have against hospital food, but I found it very satisfying. Probably because I hadn't eaten a full meal ever since I developed the cancer. Even with the cancer out of my system the medication they were giving me made me too weak at times to eat anything. I promised myself that once I got out of the hospital and was fully recovered I'd go to a buffet and eat everything.

While most doctors barely have the time to spend with their patients, it was lucky that Hatori was strictly a doctor for the Sohmas. However, I worried a little when I saw him. Even though he was getting full nights of sleep, he still looked so exhausted. I knew that he had stayed beside me all 12 hours I was unconscious. But I wished he would get some rest. As the person who saved my life he deserved it greatly.

"Hatori?" I asked one day when he was checking up on me.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Thank you, for saving my life."

"Oh, you're welcome. It's my duty as a doctor."

"I mean, it's because of you I'm alive now. You were the one who found the lump in my back and persisted on looking into it when I thought it was nothing. The cancer had progressed greatly, but not so far that I couldn't be saved. If you had ignored it…more so, if Mom had brushed off my condition, then by the time you would've noticed it, it would've been too late for me."

Hatori smiled at me. I liked his smiles. They were always so warm. As one of the most serious people in my family I almost never saw his smile before my diagnosis. Now he can't seem to help but smile. I think it was his own relief that he was able to save me.

"I'll treat you to something when I get better," I promised.

"You don't have to go that far—"

"Let me do it. I know I'll never be able to repay you for what you did, but I'll try for as long as I live to treat you to something."

"I appreciate the offer," he said. "But the greatest treat you can give me is by following my instructions and making a speedy, uneventful recovery. That will be more than any repayment I could ask for."

I agreed. Hatori had grown into the big brother I had always wanted. I promised myself that no matter what I would never ridicule or complain about him ever.

I busied myself by talking to Mom and writing thank-you notes to each of the family members that had sent me the get-well gifts. I also took the time to reread the note I had addressed to Kyo. It seemed silly how scared I was at the time. I should've had more faith in Hatori and his assistants. Ah well, Mom said that such jitters are natural so there wasn't a reason to feel anything about it.

I found it funny how easy it was for my to convey my feelings onto paper, when conveying my feelings to Kyo prior to my diagnosis involved nearly snapping his neck. I felt slightly better that I did manage to pull through and Hatori didn't have to give him the letter. This note wouldn't make Kyo love me anymore than my diagnosis did. Not to mention it would probably make him feel unwanted or guilty. Or maybe that's just my wishful thinking. Nevertheless I kept my note hidden under the water pitcher on the side table. Mom never goes through my things and neither do the nurses, so it was fine.

Finally, the day I had been waiting for had arrived. Hatori permitted visitors to come see me.

There was a mass flood of people! Everyone looked cheerful and happy, their voices loud as they talked to me. It was wonderful seeing everyone again.

Then one of the nurses told us all to be quiet, so then they had to speak softly. Well, Ayame kept carrying on so Hatori came in and "calmly" told him to shut up. Then of course he was as quiet as everyone else.

"You still look sick," said Kisa worriedly.

"It's the medication," I explained. "I need it to help with the pain."

"It still hurts?"

"Well, it's sore. But the medication prevents me from feeling full-blown pain."

"Oh."

"Does this mean the cancer's gone?" asked Momiji.

"Yep. Hatori took it clean out of my system."

"Yay!! Haa-san did it!!"

Momiji's cute cry caused a chain reaction in everyone, who then started talking loudly again. Of course, they all calmed down once the nurse came back in and threatened to kick them all out.

"So you'll be home soon?" asked Yuki.

I nodded. "I'm going to have to hand in my papers to my college."

"Papers?" asked Tohru.

"Hatori said that the recovery process takes quite a long time. There isn't any time for me to go to college anymore and they're still taking tuition funds from us so…I'm dropping out."

"Kagura-chan!!"

"It's only to keep them from taking money," I added quickly. "Once I'm fully recovered I intend on going back and finishing up."

This seemed to make her feel relieved. It was around that time that I noticed some people were missing.

"Where's Hatsuharu?" I asked.

"We ran into Rin on our way here and they broke into another massive argument," said Shigure, shaking his head. "Funny thing was; her face was covered in bruises. Makes me wonder how many _accidents _she's having these days."

I blinked. Shigure had those suspicions too about Isuzu's accidents?

Yuki seemed to know exactly what Shigure was talking about. Tohru on the other hand might as well have had question marks around her head.

"When you get better," said Ayame, butting in on the conversation. "I want you to try on this new dress I just made!! Do you mind Tohru-kun, since you usually try on my dresses?"

"Not at all," said Tohru, smiling.

"Wait, what do you mean 'usually'?!" barked Yuki.

"Oh, I'm sure Kyokichi would swoon if he saw you!!"

I half-expected Kyo to make a big deal out of this. Then I realized that he wasn't there either.

"Where's Kyo-kun?" I asked, trying to sound like it was a passing thought.

"He's not feeling good," said Tohru.

"Damn near threw up all over the house," muttered Yuki.

"Oh."

I tried to not let it bother me while my guests were there. Finally, Hatori came in and said that visiting hours were over and everyone had to leave. Slowly they all did. Afterwards Hatori did a check up on me.

"Are you tired?" he asked.

"A little," I admitted.

Hatori shook his head. "All those people in one room wasn't the best idea. From now on I'm letting in three people at a time."

I knew not to protest to this. As much as I loved to see everyone, it did put a lot of strain on me. I knew that I couldn't rush my recovery or put stress on myself.

"Good, very good," said Hatori after the check-up was done. "I'm heading home now. I have to examine Akito and Isuzu."

"Why? Because Isuzu had another _accident_ and didn't want to have one?"

Hatori stared at me for several minutes before he said, "You seem to know a lot about that. Yes, Akito has a hand in Isuzu's "accidents"."

"Why doesn't anyone stop him?" tears were threatening to fall.

"Kagura, calm down. I talk to Akito every time something like this happens, but it's not like I have any power over him. As for Isuzu, I warn her to stay away from Akito and not to cross him, but she doesn't listen. This last time she actually tried to jump him. Don't worry so much. I'm going to talk to Isuzu again. Hopefully she'll heed my words this time."

I closed my eyes. "Is it because of this…that Isuzu dumped Haru?"

"It does seem rather odd that she broke off their relationship after having that horrible "accident", but it's none of our business. If Isuzu wants to tell Hatsuharu what really happened, she will."

I said nothing to this.

"If you have any problems," Hatori told me. "Just hit the call button. They'll send a nurse up right away."

I nodded. "Good night, Hatori."

"Good night." Then he left.

I sighed heavily, turning my head to stare out the window. I always wished the best for everyone. This makes it harder for me knowing that Isuzu is having a lot of problems.

_Isuzu, if something really is wrong then why can't you tell anyone? Did Akito threaten you? Did he threaten Haru? Why can't you have enough faith to confide in someone? Are you afraid no one will believe you?_

I sighed again, closing my eyes. Isuzu worried me, but other feelings started to surface.

_Why didn't Kyo-kun stopped by today? I don't understand; I thought we came to some sort of an understanding. Maybe not friends, but we've made peace. Is he really sick? No, Tohru and Yun-kun wouldn't have said that much if he actually had been sick. I can't have his love, but can't he at least give me his friendship?_

I knew that the only thing that would comfort me would be to read the letter I wrote to him the night before my surgery. I reached out and slowly pulled the side table to me and reached for the water pitcher.

The note was gone.

I panicked. It was a very private note. Who could've taken it?

"Mom!" I cried when she entered the room.

"Kagura, what's wrong?" she asked worriedly.

"My note!! Where is it?!"

"What note?"

"I wrote a note to Kyo-kun just in case something went wrong with my surgery! It was under this pitcher this morning, but now it's gone!!"

Mom looked around the area. "Maybe it fell on the floor?" she looked around the floor. "I don't see it."

I whimpered. I never wanted anyone, especially Kyo, to see that note. Now someone took it and was probably reading it right now.

I blinked. Wait, it was there when the family came, but it was gone after they left!! Maybe one of them took it by mistake?

That didn't help my situation any. The note had disappeared off the face of the earth, in the hands of one of the Juunishi who would no doubt give it to Kyo because his name was written on it.

I was depressed for the next several days. True to Hatori's word only three people at a time were allowed in my room. I was tempted to ask who took my note, but if they didn't know they would want to know what was in it. Of course, I settled on one person who might tell me.

"Tohru, did you see anyone leave with a note?" I asked casually.

Tohru thought about it for several minutes. "Now that I think about it, Hiro-chan _was _stuffing something into his pocket as we left the room. Why, was it something important?"

"No." _Hiro _took it?! Then again, he _did _have a habit of taking things from adults. And he _was_ standing around that area on that day.

If I had the strength I would've strangled him. I _did _want to cause him pain, especially when he came in with Momiji and Kisa. He had an evil smirk on his face. This meant he had read the letter and had thrown it out…

…Or he had read the letter and had given it to Kyo.

My ill-mood was lifted when Isuzu stopped by. I was glad that the bruises on her face that everyone had been talking about were healing nicely.

"Had another accident," said Isuzu, managing a smile as she took a seat next to my bed. "You're looking much better."

"Thank you. The medication had ebbed away most of the pain and the hospital food has given me more strength."

"Really? Let me try some." Isuzu took a little carton of lemon jello from the tray in front of me. "Hey, this _is _good!!"

"Um…Isuzu?"

"Yeah?"

"Has Kyo-kun…been acting strangely?" if Kyo _did _get my letter I knew there would be a change in his attitude.

"Sorry, but I haven't been by Shigure's house lately. Why, what did he do this time?"

"Nothing. Well, he hasn't been by to see me."

"He's just being an asshole. Don't let it get to you."

It was fun enough being with my friends. I didn't have anymore incidents, but Kyo still didn't come to see me.

Then, on my fourth day in the hospital, I had a startling encounter.

On that day, I only had one visitor: Tohru. And she wasn't her usual cheerful self. She looked rather nervous and sullen.

"Tohru, what's the matter?" I asked, concern and fear rushing through me.

"It's nothing," she said, trying to sound cheerful. "I'm just a little down in the dumps."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked.

She was silent and unmoving for several minutes. Then she blurted it out to me.

"I'm in love with someone."

A cold feeling passed over me. Tohru? In love? Was it Yuki or Kyo?!

But that was an inappropriate question to ask.

"When did you realize you were in love?"

Tohru sighed. "Yesterday. I don't know; it just awakened in me. Right out of the blue. He didn't do anything romantic; he was just himself."

"Tohru…is it someone we all know?"

She lowered her head and nodded. I realized that was as much as she was going to say about his identity.

"What do you love about him?"

She raised her head and I could see tears falling from her eyes. "He's so…nice to me. He wears this gentle air around him whenever he's around me. He makes me feel so comfortable with myself; makes me feel good about myself. And he doesn't have to say anything; just be there."

I smiled. "That's wonderful."

"No, it's not!" she covered her face with her hands.

"Why not? Why are you crying?"

"Because…because I love him and I can feel that he loves me. But I know that someone else loves me, and I love him too; just not the same way. I know that if he knows I chose someone other than him it will destroy him."

I swallowed audibly. This was definitely Yuki and Kyo she was talking about. But I had no idea which one she loved the most. My selfish side was wishing that it was Yuki she loved.

But I couldn't tell her really what to do. All I could do was give advice.

"It's funny how love works, isn't it?" I said softly. "Many people describe it as the most unselfish feeling in the world. But how can it be unselfish when you know that feeling one way about someone is just going to cause pain for another?"

Tohru wiped her eyes, but listened closely.

"I know it hurts being in this dilemma. I know the last thing you ever want to do is cause someone pain. But you know they both love you very much, right?"

She nodded. "I've been pretty clueless about it though."

"Then they will respect whatever decision you make. Because if they truly love you, they will wish for your happiness first before theirs. Much like you're doing with them. You'd rather not hurt anyone's feelings so you don't say anything."

She nodded.

"You can't keep doing that forever, Tohru. Doing that will keep them both wishing. The pain of heartbreak is a terrible pain to bear. But wouldn't you rather just break it to them now instead of keeping them hanging?"

Tohru was silent again for a while. Then she jumped to her feet and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you, Kagura-chan," she said happily. "I know what to do now." Then she was gone in the blink of an eye.

She didn't come the next day. In fact, hardly anyone did. Hatori mentioned it being a school day for half the Juunishi. I was still bored all day.

And into the evening. Only one person came to see me.

"How my little Kagura-chan doing?" cooed Shigure cheerfully as he came in carrying a mass bouquet of roses.

"Hello," I said, sounding cheerful. "How is everything?"

"Nightmarish," he said in his cheerful tone, setting the flowers on the windowsill. "A lot of yelling over the past few hours. But it's expected."

"What's expected?" I braced myself. This was the moment of truth.

"Oh, haven't you heard?" Shigure gave me a sad smile. "Tohru-kun confessed her love for Yuki. They're going out now."


	7. Part 7

Part 7

I had no idea how to feel about this.

I mean, it was wonderful that Tohru had found someone to love very much; the same with Yuki. But why did I feel so guilty?

Simple: Kyo.

Kyo loved Tohru just as much as Yuki did. Although both were very discreet about it, it was very obvious. So obvious that you couldn't tell who loved her the most.

But, it was obvious whom Tohru loved the most now.

Somehow, I felt I had a part in it. I gave Tohru the advice; told her to follow her heart. Why was it so wrong then?

Probably because I was secretly wishing that it was Yuki she loved. And when this was confirmed I felt so relieved, so…happy.

This brings me back to my guilt. I knew that Kyo had never been in love before; not even with me. Tohru had been his first. It had to be devastating to him, losing his first love to his rival. Especially since the reason they had become friends to begin with was because of her.

But, I couldn't think about it. Feeling guilty gave me stress. And stress made me tired. And I needed my strength to have a successful recovery.

Everyone continued to stop by, except for Kyo. Even Hatsuharu made an appearance.

"Feeling better now?" he asked in his usual soft tone.

I nodded. "Yep. The cancer's been flushed out of my system."

"That's good. You're one of the strongest people I know. It's been strange, knowing you had cancer."

"Oh, I know. But everything's fine now."

"Are you going to be all right with just one kidney?"

"According to Hatori, humans in general only need one kidney. He told me the other one is still very healthy and will be quick to pick up the workload of the other."

Haru looked thoughtful. "I didn't know that."

"I didn't either. But it's good to learn something knew everyday."

I noticed that every now and then Haru was looking behind himself towards the door.

"Is something wrong?" I pressed, though I already knew what the answer was.

"Rin-san's not here," said Hiro matter-of-factly. I resisted the urge to glare at him. Ever since he stole my note to Kyo I was feeling rather hostile towards him. I wished all the more that he _had _thrown it out. Kyo didn't need rejecting _and _my pressing love all at the same time.

Haru didn't talk back to Hiro, but he stopped glancing towards the door.

"Isuzu's at the main house," I told them. "She wasn't feeling good again."

"Oh." I was rather surprised at the worry that flickered in Hiro's eyes. The only people I'd ever seen him concerned for were his mother and Kisa.

It made me think that Hiro had some idea what was happening to Isuzu, but Haru still didn't. Maybe if I…

"Akito's been "sick" too," I added with intended casualness. "Just as much as Isuzu's been."

 Hiro immediately understood what I was talking about. "I gotta go." He left the room quickly.

Haru watched him go with a confused expression on his face, which made me disappointed. He didn't take the hint. Maybe if he had been Black Haru…no, that can't happen. He'd smash everything in here.

I still didn't see too much of Isuzu, which made me think she was angry with me. No doubt Hiro went to confront her with this revelation about her "illnesses". And I knew that she didn't want anyone to know about it. "Anyone" being Haru.

Nonetheless, the days passed by smoothly for me. I was still worried that Hatori wasn't getting as much sleep as he could, but he never complained.

"You'll be discharged soon," he told me after a check-up. "The rest of your recovery will take place at home, unless something happens. Can I trust you not to go _anywhere _without consulting your mother and me first?"

"Yes." I still felt guilty for sneaking out and scaring Mom and Hatori. But I was glad they understood why I did it. Though I still had a strong feeling Hatori was going to give a _long _lecture about it once I fully recovered. Hopefully by that time, within the next year or so, he'll forget about it.

On the second to last day in the hospital, I got two surprise guests. Yuki and Tohru.

I hadn't seen either since they started going out. At first glance it doesn't seem like much had changed. They weren't hanging off each other and kissing every five seconds (though if they did Yuki would probably spend a lot of time as the Rat). But I immediately felt the change in them. They were so comfortable and happy around each other now; not that they weren't before.

"So you're being discharged in two days?" asked Tohru, all smiles as usual. She and Yuki took a seat next to the bed.

"Yep," I said cheerfully. "I'm glad. All I've seen for the past several days are these four walls. And the smell of hospital bandages is really getting to me."

"You'll have to get use to the smell for a while," said Yuki. "At least it's better now."

"I guess so. I just regret that my recovery will prevent me from seeing you guys."

"We'll come and see you!" said Tohru, her face determined.

"As long as Akito doesn't see me," mumbled Yuki, his eyes sliding closed. Tohru seemed to sense his sudden change. She took hold of his hand in hers. Yuki opened his eyes slightly and gave a small smile, intertwining their fingers.

Seeing both Yuki and Tohru like this made me feel very happy. But it also made my previous guilt deepen. So it was inevitable that I blurted out the next question.

"How's Kyo-kun doing?"

Tohru broke eye contact with Yuki and turned towards me. A strange expression was in her face that made my throat closed. She looked like she was about to cry.

"Excuse me," she said politely. She let go of Yuki's hand and quietly departed the room.

"I'm sorry—" I began.

Yuki waved a hand. "It's nothing you should worry about. Kyo stopped talking to us and being around us. I haven't really seen his face since we…" he trailed off.

This was a sobering for me. I knew that Kyo would take their relationship hard. But I never expected him to cut them off completely.

Not that I was taking sides, but I understood why Kyo did it.

"Are you happy, Yun-kun?" I asked tentatively.

Yuki looked at me indignantly. "Of course I am! Being with Honda-san is more than I could ever ask for. Even before we started going out!"

"That's good. Because we all deserve a little happiness. I'm glad it found you, Yun-kun."

"Thanks."

I looked at the clock on the wall. I had a feeling Tohru wasn't going to come back. "Where did Tohru go?"

"Probably to the roof." Yuki got up from his seat. "I know she loves Kyo and wouldn't do anything intentionally to hurt him. But he's treating us terribly now and she feels she's caused him great pain."

I said nothing to this and let Yuki go find her. Tohru was the master at comforting people, but wasn't exactly quick to accept comfort. But I knew Yuki would give her as much comfort as she needed.

I couldn't stop thinking about Kyo after their visit. I knew that Kyo would become depressed, much like I did when he rejected me. As someone who didn't receive much love as a child, it had to be crushing to see someone you love just slip away from you.

_Doesn't he realize that Tohru _does _love him? _I wondered that night, lacking all sleep. _Of course he does. Maybe that's what makes it so hard for him to cope. He loves her. And she loves him. But the love he wanted from her wasn't the love she felt for him…_

Thinking about Kyo did sullen me. I wanted to be in high spirits, especially since I was one day away from being discharged from the hospital. But all I could think about was how Kyo was suffering while I laid in my hospital bed getting check ups from Hatori.

"In the morning the nurse will bring you breakfast as usual," said Hatori after the check-up. "But afterwards other nurses will come in to help you get in regular clothing." He turned to Mom. "Make sure the clothing she gets is baggy."

"Already have it," said Mom. She went over to my bag to get the clothing.

"Afterwards another nurse will come in with a wheelchair," Hatori continued. "She'll wheel you down to the lobby where a medical bus will be waiting. The bus will take us to the Main House."

"Why not your car?" I asked.

"I don't want to take any risks opening your stitches. The bus won't do that."

"Oh."

I didn't really have any guests that day, and I knew it was because I was going home the next day. At least Hatori would finally be able to get some sleep.

When thinking about that, it made me look at Mom. She looked just as bad as Hatori did.

"Mom, you can go home tonight if you want," I said after Hatori left. I knew that guest cot couldn't be all too comfortable.

Mom shook her head. "Why would I want to do that? You're here—"

"I know, but you need some rest too. You haven't been home in days."

Mom sighed heavily. "Don't worry about me, sweetie. I'll be all right. I want to stay here with you."

"Mom, you've given me undying support. But now you need to rest. Don't worry, I'm a big girl. You need to relax too."

Mom debated this silently for several minutes before she said, "If anything happens no matter how minor it seems, you call the nurses. Okay?"

"Okay." I smiled.

Mom was slow in departing because she kept asking me if I was all right and for me to take care of myself. She also said that she would be there first thing in the morning to help me out. Finally, she gave me a kiss and went home.

I sighed tiredly, relaxing in my hospital bed. This was the first time in what seemed like forever that I was alone. Even if I appreciated the support from everyone, I welcomed the space.

The night nurses were confused to see Mom gone, but when I explained that she needed proper rest they understood.

When it was time for me to sleep it almost came to me instantly. I was so tired from worrying and being excited. I didn't even realize I had fallen asleep.

Until my hospital room door opened.

I came awake, startled. My room was shrouded in darkness, save the lights from the machines. Though tons of nurses had come into my room over the last several days, this somehow felt strange to me. It didn't feel like a nurse had come into my room. I reached for my side lamp the call time I reached for the call button. I pressed both at the same time. I was so shocked at who it was I yelled.

"_Kyo-kun_?!"

Kyo stood near the closed door. And he looked terrible!!

"Can I help you?" asked the nurse on the call monitor.

"S-sorry, that was accidental," I responded, my gaze never leaving Kyo.

"All right." The nurse disconnected.

I let go of the call button. "Kyo-kun?" I asked again, my tone softer this time.

Kyo slouched against the wall. "Yeah?"

It didn't feel like it was Kyo I was talking to. More like a stranger. The Kyo who stood in front of me looked like he hadn't taken a shower in days. He was wearing worn clothing, and I guessed he'd been wearing the same clothes for days. He was pale and thinner; like he hadn't been eating for a while.

"I…" I didn't know what to say.

Kyo sighed and walked across the room and stood in front of the window. "I heard you're getting discharged tomorrow."

That snapped me out of my daze. "Y-Yes."

"Sorry I haven't been by. Had a lot on my mind."

Silence followed this. I didn't want to upset him by bringing up Yuki and Tohru. But I didn't know what to say. It was funny; I had so much I wanted to talk to him about yet I couldn't think of it at that point.

"Kyo-kun—" I started.

"Have they been by here?" he cut in, his voice suddenly going soft.

"Yun-kun and Tohru?" I asked, though I knew exactly who he was talking about. "Yes, they stopped by yesterday."

"Then you know."

"…Yes. Kyo-kun—"

"I'm pretty fucking stupid, aren't I?" Kyo forced out a laugh. "I-I-I mean, everyone could see it! Why couldn't I?"

"Kyo-kun…"

"I was going to confess to her that night." Something tore at my heart when he said that. "I dunno; I had a bad omen or something. When she got home from visiting you there was this determined look in her face. Something told me right then and there to do it. So…" he closed his eyes. "I did."

My throat closed and my chest tightened. Kyo confessed his feelings? This seemed too unusual for him to express any feelings other than rage."

He opened his eyes, which seem to stare at nothing. "She got this new look in her eyes. _Pity_. At that moment I knew she didn't feel the same way. But she didn't outright reject me. All she said was 'I'm sorry' and went to her room. I started deluding myself into thinking what I saw wasn't real. 'Maybe she's confused'. 'Maybe she just needs more time to think'. Anything to keep thinking I meant more to her."

Tears were starting to spill from my eyes. My heart was hurting for Kyo; I knew what that feeling felt like.

"I went up to her room later to confront her and that Damn Rat was there with her. She was crying and he was comforting her. Then, all of a sudden she said it. 'I love you'. But it wasn't to me. It was to that damn Yuki!

"And of course he accepts her. He hugs her and turns into a Rat and they both start laughing. I just got…angry. I ran into there and started _screaming _at them. And I mean screaming. I was saying a bunch of stuff I probably shouldn't have said. But I was so mad!! Mad at Yuki for falling in love with her. Mad at Tohru…for not loving me."

I wiped my tears away, sniffling as quietly as I could. "Kyo-kun—"

"I _fucking hate this_!!" he yelled suddenly. "That fucking Yuki _always wins_!! He beats me at fighting, ping pong, and even takes the girl I love!! Why can't he allow me to get something _just once_?! Why can't I love someone without them being taken away?! First my mom, now Tohru!"

I stared stunned at Kyo. I could tell by his ragged breathing that he was crying. He turned and came to my bedside. Tears were pouring from his eyes.

"Why can't I ever win?" he asked me. "I really love her…" He punched the bed. "It's not fucking fair!! Not fair…"

He broke off into sobs. The motherly side of me took control as I took Kyo into my arms. I half-expected him to pull away, but he did the exact opposite. Instead he hugged me tightly, though he avoided my lower back. I said nothing as we just held each other, Kyo sobbing into my shoulder. Even if it was like this, I was happy to finally see Kyo again.


	8. Part 8

Part 8

I didn't know when we fell asleep that night. All I knew is that we woke up the next morning still holding each other.

You can probably imagine the night nurse's reaction when she saw us like that. After a scolding fest Kyo agreed to clear it with the hospital the next time he would spend the night.

Then again, I was being discharged that day so I don't think that promise was necessary.

Hatori was a little surprised to see Kyo in my room when he came in, but he kept his usual expression. With a calm tone he instructed Kyo to take a hot shower as soon as he could and get rid of the clothes he was wearing. Mom didn't think Kyo being there was too odd either. She came in looking a _lot _less tired than she did yesterday and cheerfully said 'good morning' to us.

When everything settled down, Hatori told us what was going to happen.

"You'll be able to get out of the hospital gown and into normal clothing again," said Hatori. "First though, you'll have to have your I.V. removed."

The nurse carefully removed it from my hand and applied gauze to it.

"Now you can get dressed. Kyo, if you'll come with me so we can give Kagura some privacy."

They left and my mom helped me out of my gown and into normal clothing. I was relieved to finally have a shirt on, though what I needed more than anything was a hot shower, like what Hatori prescribed Kyo.

When Hatori and Kyo reentered the room, a nurse was following them with a wheelchair.

"The medical bus is here," Hatori announced. "Kagura, the nurse will guide you downstairs in this wheelchair."

Mom helped me up and got me settled in the wheelchair. "I just need to gather up the rest of your things. I'll meet you downstairs."

"I'll be following in my car," said Hatori as we started leaving the room. "Since your mother and no doubt Kyo will be riding with you in the bus. Don't worry; I'll know if anything goes wrong."

I sighed softly. "I'll be glad to get home. To be able to sleep in my own bed, take a bath—"

"I'm sorry, but no," Hatori cut in. "The stitches in your back are too important to budge now. You'll have to wait until a month has gone by before that, and maybe even longer depending on how well you're feeling."

I felt my insides shrivel up. I had to go _a month _without bathing? My glow over leaving the hospital was slowly fading.

We reached the front entrance of the hospital, where the bus was waiting. I gulped a little as I was directed onto the bus. Kyo climbed in shortly after me and my mom was quick to follow.

"The trip home will take no time at all," said Hatori. "And I'll be right behind you in my car."

I nodded. "Thank you, Hatori."

He smiled as the doors closed. He walked away and headed to his car.

The trip home was in silence. I doubted any of us had really anything to say to lighten the mood. And it felt strange being in the bus; when we stopped at a red light several people stared into the bus windows. Particularly at me.

_I may not have my lump anymore, but I still feel self-conscious,_ I thought to myself, lowering my head.

"Ah, don't worry about them," said Kyo. "They just don't have anything better to do than rubberneck. It's annoying, really."

I looked up and stared at Kyo. Ever since he broke down the night before he barely spoke. And his tone of voice seemed to be back to its usual tone. This made me feel a lot better, and the ride home became less tense.

Once we arrived home, I was shocked to see Akito standing at the front gates waiting for us. Then again, Kureno, another cousin and member of the Juunishi, was at his side so that helped explain why he was outside the compound.

He waited patiently as I was helped out of the bus. A strange emotion flickered briefly across his face when he saw Kyo climb out of the bus, but it quickly returned to an amused expression.

"How nice to see you, Kagura," he greeted as the medical bus drove away. Hatori was supporting me as we walked up to him. "Though you aren't looking much healthier."

"She needs her rest," said Hatori. "She's in for a long recovery."

"I see." Akito's gaze flickered over to Kyo. "Is th…I mean, is Kyo coming in with you?"

"Nah, I'm heading home," said Kyo off-handedly, though his tone had a hint of hostility.

"Hang on, Kyo-kun," I said. I motioned for him to come over to me.

"You have two minutes," said Hatori. He carefully handed me over to Kyo, who led me a little ways away. Not too far away, but out of earshot.

"Thanks for coming last night," I told him. "And…I'm sorry about Tohru."

Kyo sighed. "I can't stay mad at her forever. It'll make her more miserable than I am right now. So…I'll try and cope with it."

I nodded. "That'll be better for you."

"Also…I have to admit I was a little surprised about something."

"What?"

Kyo pulled out a wrinkled envelop and handed it to me. "I saw this sticking out of Hiro's pocket a few days ago. I saw my name on it and asked what the hell he was doing with it. He kinda laughed and gave it to me. It…well, reading it was odd. I knew you had survived your surgery but the letter sounded like you didn't."

I laughed a little. "I guess so…but I was scared that night before my surgery. And I felt…like I needed to make peace with you."

"All right. Let's make peace then and start off as friends, okay?"

I smiled brightly. That wasn't exactly what I wanted him to say, but he was being sincere. And he wanted to be my friend. That was better than nothing.

Before I could stop myself I leaned in and gave him a swift kiss on the cheek. His whole face turned dark red and he yelped, clutching that cheek.

"Thanks, Kyo-kun," I said sweetly. "Now head on home and take better care of yourself."

Kyo spouted out several words in gibberish, then consented and headed on home. I kept the smile on my face and slowly headed back to Hatori.

"Okay, _now _let's go inside," he said, though a smile was tugging at his lips. Mom and him helped me through the main gates. I noted that Akito was whispering to Kureno, who listened with a blank expression. I had no idea what he was saying, but at the time I didn't care. I was home.

---

Even though I was suppose to spend my days at home in peace and quiet, I certainly couldn't ignore the people who stopped in to say hello. And it wasn't just members of the Juunishi; members of the family who knew about the curse stopped by. Including those I didn't know were relatives.

This annoyed the hell out of Hatori. Whenever he stopped by to give me a check-up the house was full of people. Throwing aside his usual calm he'd yell politely for everyone to leave so that he could do his job as the family's doctor.

Though I couldn't take a bath, the best option I had was a sponge bath. I hated that just as much as staying dirty, but unfortunately it was the best that could be done for the time being.

Out of everyone's company, I welcomed Isuzu's company greatly. I hadn't seen her in a long while and I was happy to be able to speak with her. She was a lot more melancholy than before. I had a feeling that when Hiro quickly left the hospital that day it was to talk to her. Whatever they said probably caused her to be so depressed.

There was also another thing I welcomed, though it was very new: Kyo. Though he never stopped by because he obviously didn't want to run into Akito, he'd call me. It started off on little whims; our conversations lasting about fifteen minutes. Then, over the days our conversations stretched to over three hours. And generally he would call me twice a day!!

He was probably reaching out to someone. It was no doubt still tense at Shigure's house, even if he made amends with Yuki and Tohru. I knew he just needed someone to have casual conversation with; that person being me. But, as the days grew on as did our conversations, I could tell that he was really enjoying them. We were certainly talking more than we did when we were kids.

My only worry was Akito. He wouldn't stop by or say anything really to me, but I'd see him speaking with Hatori outside my house and he'd give my bedroom window weird looks. Hatori had told me that Akito sympathized with me considering he was ill like I was. If that was the case, Akito certainly had a strange way of showing it.

I also noticed whenever Akito was near the house that Isuzu would move as far away from his location as she could. The more I saw her do that, the more it confirmed my suspicions that Akito had caused her "accidents".

And as the days grew, I knew that I couldn't ignore it anymore.

---

"Isuzu, come here a second," I called out to her after I hung up the phone. I had just had a pleasant conversation with Kyo. He was definitely sounding a lot better.

Isuzu came into my room. "Is something wrong?"

"No, I just wanted to spend a little time with you."

Isuzu sighed heavily and walked over to the window. She opened it a few inches. "What about?"

"Is there something bothering you?"

"What makes you say that?"

"You've been really depressed lately. And you've been acting strangely."

Isuzu walked away from the window. "Really? I don't think—"

"Look, Isuzu, I know about it," I blurted out.

Isuzu froze. She stared at me with a pale face. "I-I don't know what you're talking about."

I sighed and stood up carefully. I took a seat next to the open window. "I know what the cause of your "accidents" is."

"You don't know anything," Isuzu snapped a little too quickly.

"I know that Akito has a hand in them."

Isuzu reeled back until she hit the wall. "How did you—" she quickly recovered herself. "I mean, I don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm not stupid, Isuzu! I know that Akito beats you up and that your "accidents" aren't accidents but abuse!!"

"You don't know anything!" Isuzu repeated, but she yelled it this time.

"And Hiro knows it too. That's why he confronted you about it. Because he knows how Akito acts."

Isuzu balled up her fists tightly. "Okay, fine. Akito _does _beat the shit out me. My "accident" was him throwing me out that window. But _so what_?! What the fuck does it matter what he does to me?! Do you think anyone in this family cares?! My parents didn't!!!"

"_I _care!!" I cried. "And Haru does!!"

Isuzu stopped. She closed her eyes.

"Don't you _ever _bring this up to him," she hissed. "Or _anyone _for that matter. I can take care of this myself; when he hits, I strike back with greater force. Don't you ever bring this up again, Kagura. Or I swear I'll…" she stopped herself and shook her head. "I'm sorry. Just don't talk about this, okay?"

She didn't wait for my answer. She stormed from the room, closing the door sharply behind her.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and sighed. This did not turn out well at all.

Suddenly, I heard something outside. Footsteps receding. My insides froze. Someone had eavesdropped on our conversation!!!

I quickly stood up and yanked my window completely open. I stuck my head out, but saw no one. But I looked down and saw footprints in the mud, and deep imprints right next to my window.

I started breathing shallowly, closing the window. Someone heard everything that we said. Someone knows about Isuzu's big secret. But who? I prayed that it wasn't Akito, or one of his spies.

_Don't worry yourself_, I told myself. _It was probably someone who will brush it off like it's nothing. Besides, what could possibly happen?_

I got my answer the following morning. Mom brought me in breakfast in bed as usual, but she brought up an odd question.

"Kagura, have you seen Isuzu?"

"Eh? Why, isn't she here?"

"No. She wasn't home last night when I went to bed and she wasn't home when I woke up. I don't think she ran away again, but I just don't know."


	9. Part 9

Part 9

I'm worried.

I worry about a lot of things these days. If I'm taking care of myself properly. If things are back to normal at Shigure's house. If Isuzu really needed help.

Isuzu stood out as my biggest worry at that point.

Her disappearance hardly caused a riptide in the family. She had run away numerous times in the past, only to show up a few days later. Well, she had reason to run away; what, with the argument I had with her. But it somehow felt different this time around.

She had been missing for over a week. And no one has seen any sign of her.

I feared that Akito had a hand in it, but his open irritation was too real for me to suspect he did it. That didn't leave very many options for me.

Whoever took her was obviously the one who had been listening in on our conversation. If only I could find out whom that was…

But once again I was faced with a brick wall. Hatori had absolutely forbidden me to leave the house since I was still recovering. When I told him about Isuzu, he calmly said that he would keep an eye out for her. I had a sinking feeling he thought she had run away and would turn up eventually. And I also had a feeling that he wasn't going to try very hard to find her since he had me to look after. But I didn't say these things, as I had a promise to keep that I would never bother or criticize him again after he saved my life.

So I was stuck. My only refuse during those long days of waiting were my calls from Kyo. They were getting fewer, but each one was just as long as the first ones. I had a feeling he had mended fences with Yuki and Tohru and they were back to their trio. While that meant that I couldn't talk to Kyo much, I could tell he was becoming happier. And I could tell he valued our newfound friendship; he needed someone to reach out to, and that was me. And even though he was friends again with Yuki and Tohru, he still called me.

"What's wrong?" he asked in one of our talks.

"Eh?" I blinked several times. "Why do you think something is wrong?"

"Because you haven't said a word in like ten minutes."

"I'm sorry. It's just that…" I trailed off.

"Worried about Rin?"

"Y-yes. Then you know about her disappearance?"

"Yeah, Momiji told us about it two days ago. I expected Haru to be scared out of his mind, but he wasn't. He just had a neutral face and spoke as calmly as ever. Do you think he's gotten over Rin?"

My throat closed. _Oh no. Haru has gotten over Isuzu? Dammit Haru, she still loves you!! She's just trying to protect you from Akito!! You blind, stupid—_

"I might be wrong though." Kyo's voice cut through my thoughts. "I mean, it would be stupid for him to just suddenly give up on her when he's been trying to repair their relationship for quite some time."

I laughed weakly. "You're right. Maybe he knows her routine and expects her back within a few days."

"Yeah probably."

"Kagura! It's time for bed!" Mom called to me.

"Oh, I have to go. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Okay. Take care of yourself."

"Thanks." _I love you, _I said silently, but I clenched my teeth to prevent me from saying that. I put the phone on the cradle and sighed sadly.

_If only I didn't have this damn cancer_, I thought, staring at the ceiling. _Then I would've been free to find Isuzu! Hell, I would've been free to see Kyo-kun anytime I liked!_

_But if it weren't for the cancer, you wouldn't have been on speaking terms with Kyo-kun_, a soft voice said to me. _You'd still be depressed and tiptoeing around him._

_And what makes you think Kyo-kun's being sincere?_ another voice but in. _You know it's because you had cancer that he's going to such lengths to be nice to you. It's a little that called 'pity'._

_Stop it!! _I yelled mentally, covering my ears. _I know Kyo-kun doesn't love me, but we're friends now!! And right now my main concern is Isuzu!!_

"Kagura?" Mom was standing over me. "Is something the matter? Are you in any pain?"

I dropped my hands into my lap and looked up at her. "No, Mom. I'm fine. I just need a little sleep…"

---

The days seemed to drag on for me. Aside from wanting a real bath, there were two things I really wanted. To see Kyo, and for Isuzu to come home.

Then again, I also wanted a quick and speedy recovery so that I can carry out my normal life again. Even if it meant I had to give up a few liberties; like beating Kyo to a pulp every time I saw him.

As it was winding down to two weeks since Isuzu's disappearance, I got a visit from Kureno. Since he almost never left Akito's side, his visit could only mean one thing.

Akito wanted to see me.

"But Hatori told me to stay in the house at all times," I explained, not exactly thrilled at the idea of seeing Akito. "I-I-I probably need to get his permission—"

"Akito-san requested you personally," Kureno said calmly. "I'm sure not even Hatori can go against Akito-san's orders. Here, I'll help you get there.

So that was that. I didn't know if Hatori would give us all earfuls, but there was no way he could ignore an order.

And there was no way I could avoid it.

---

I sat there calmly watching Akito, who was busying himself by staring at the wall and not saying anything. I knew that it wasn't my place to speak first, but being careful with myself and worrying about Isuzu was making me exhausted. And fifteen minutes had already gone by!

"Um, Akito-san?" I said tentatively. "I'm feeling very tired and I think I should—"

"Silence, girl!" Akito interrupted. "Don't you know not to address me first?!"

I sighed as quietly as I could and continued to wait while Akito very slowly and lazily paced around the room. I didn't know why he was putting me through this. I was still recovering and keeping still like that was taking more of my energy than it was needed.

Finally, after an hour and a half, he finally spoke. "I want to see your stitches."

"Eh?" I had been dozing off, which was really stupid since sleeping in that position put strain on my stitches. "Right now?"

"Yes now!"

I nodded and stood up. I turned away from him and tried to lift up my shirt. But the pain from my surgical area was affecting me, so I couldn't lift it up very far.

Akito wandered over to me and gave my stitches full scrutiny, though there wasn't much to see with the bandages.

"Ah, the marvels of modern medicine," he breathed. He poked at my bandages, causing me to squeak in pain. "Imagine that. The last time you were in this room the cancer was festering on your rotting kidney. Now it's all gone. Quite a miracle, wouldn't you say Kureno?"

"I guess so, sir," said Kureno. He hardly showed emotion, but he seemed uncomfortable at what was going on.

"Okay, sit down," said Akito. I lowered my shirt and did sit down, inwardly disappointed. I had been hoping he would let me leave after that.

"I hear you've been talking to Kyo a lot," said Akito, changing topics. "How has that pathetic fool been doing?"

"Kyo-kun isn't pathetic!" I snapped before I could stop myself. "And he's doing just fine!"

Akito didn't look insulted that I had snapped at him. He looked rather amused. "Ah, I see. Is he still pining over Tohru? They do make a fancy couple."

I realized at that moment that Akito had no idea Yuki and Tohru were going out. I decided immediately that it should stay that way since he had his own obsession with Yuki and I didn't want to think about what he would do if he knew.

So I did my best to look like I was concealing a hurt face. He went on rambling about Kyo and Tohru for ten minutes and I tried to keep on a hurt face without bursting out laughing. I endured it until he immediately switched topics again.

"Rin has been missing for a while," he breathed softly. "Almost two weeks. Right, Kureno?"

"Yes," Kureno answered.

"Well." Akito seated himself right in front of me. "Kagura, where do you thinking she's galloped off to?"

"Um…I don't know." And I honestly didn't know.

"Well, that doesn't help us very much. You see, I'm not one for Rin's antics. And she just seems to love getting on my bad side. That's why I can't stand it when you Juunishi run away. Especially if it's people like her."

Inwardly I was relieved. Akito didn't have a hand in her disappearance.

But that didn't help in her search.

Suddenly, the door was thrown open. Akito jumped up to bark at whoever had just come in. I turned to see who it was.

Hatori stood there, looking both relieved and irritated.

"This conversation is over," he said, storming into the room.

"I was talking with Kagura," said Akito, though he didn't bark at Hatori for ordering him around. "Just a short conversation."

Hatori helped me to my feet. "'Short'?! Two hours isn't short!! I'm taking her home."

"All right, all right." Akito waved his hand dismissively. "Bye bye, Kagura. Be sure to tell me when Rin gets home. _If _she ever does."

I resisted the urge to glare at him as Hatori helped me leave.

"I'm sorry," I said once we were out of the house. "Akito ordered me to go—"

"It's all right," said Hatori. "I'm just worried about the stress you've been under. Sitting in that same position for two hours…"

I decided not to say more as he helped me home. I was half-hoping that Isuzu would come home soon.

But, I was hoping more that she would stay away. I didn't know what Akito was going to do once she got home.

---

I did get a surprise though, the next day. Mom had gone out to go shopping and I was a home just eating a light snack.

Then the front door opened and closed. Even if it was a little early for her to be home, I expected it to be Mom. "Mom, welcome—"

Isuzu stood in the doorway of the room. I was silent for a microsecond before I shrieked and rushed over to her, giving her a tight hug.

"We were all so worried!" I cried when I released her. "What happened? Are you all right?"

Isuzu was slightly pale and she was wearing the same clothes from the day she disappeared. But otherwise she looked fine.

"Tell me everything," I commanded as we sat down at the table. "What happened?"

"Haru happened," she said softly. "That day we argued he had been listening outside your window."

I blinked several times. That was Haru?

"That night I went outside for some fresh air. Haru confronted me about what happened. He was absolutely furious that I never told him Akito was abusing me. I told him to fuck off and tried to go back inside. But…"

"But what?"

"He grabbed me. I tried fighting him off, but he had gone into Black Haru mode. He gagged me before I could scream and I passed out. When I woke up my hands were tied behind my back and I was lying on a bed. I didn't know until a few days ago that I was at Haru's house."

My eyes widened. Isuzu was still here in the Sohma compound all this time?!

"He did take care of me well. Fed me, let me bathe, let me use the bathroom. But he had sort of kidnapped me. He wasn't going to let me go until I told him everything that happened between Akito and me."

"What happened then?"

Isuzu gave me a sad look. "The obvious. I broke. I told him everything."


	10. Part 10

Part 10

I blinked several times. "Everythin—"

"Not right away though," continued Isuzu. "Otherwise I would've been let out earlier. I figured Haru would eventually just get tired of asking me questions and let me go."

"But he didn't?"

"No. I knew was stubborn, but I didn't expect him to be _that _stubborn. I mean, I screamed a lot of terrible things at him to get him to let me go. Sometimes he would change into Black Haru, but he would never harm me. Hell, he never even _threatened _me, except for telling me he wasn't going to let me out."

I couldn't hold back a smile. I had been worried that Haru had gotten over Isuzu and moved on, but he hadn't. His love for her seemed to be stronger than ever.

"Finally, yesterday I broke. I kinda realized that Haru wasn't going to let me out of there. I mean, two weeks had already passed and I knew that he wasn't going to give up. So I told him everything."

"Everything, as in…?"

"The truth about my 'accidents', how Akito was involved in them, and why he did them."

My mouth went dry. I couldn't even imagine the reaction Haru had when Isuzu told him.

"I told him in a rather crude manner about it so it would seem like I was lying. And I thought that he thought I was lying. He was just so…calm. Then he got up and left." She lowered her head. "I was so angry with him then. I never wanted him to find out about it, but I…and when he just upped and left I was in a rage because it felt like he brushed it off. I yelled after him to get his ass back there and untie me. But then I was crying…it had been so long since I cried. I just felt like everything had crumbled. It wasn't too long before I cried myself to sleep.

"I woke up only minutes later to angry screaming and crashes. It didn't take me too long to realize that Haru had become Black Haru and he was tearing apart his house. While I felt relieved that he did seem to care, I was a little scared at the same time. I was afraid he'd go after Akito in that rage.

"But…he calmed down and came back into my room. My hands were still tied so I couldn't wipe the tears off my face. He did untie me and said that we were going to pay Akito a visit. Believe me; it took a long time to convince him not to go after Akito. I mean, I made up every excuse I could think of. I told him that I started it all, but he just replied that that didn't give Akito the right to throw me out a window. I told him I beat Akito just as much as he beat me, but he said that Akito never had the right to hit me to begin with, head of the family or not."

I gulped audibly. Haru really wanted to kill Akito. Not that I blamed him or anything.

"I did convince him eventually, though. I promised I would ignore Akito's orders and go out with him again if he promised not to get revenge on Akito."

"What did he say?"

"He was pissed off that that was the only way that we could hook back up, but he agreed to it."

"So…you're going back out with Haru?"

"…Yes."

I closed my eyes. "That's good."

"No, it's not!!" Isuzu suddenly yelled. "Don't you see?! Akito put me in the hospital because he believes I seduced Haru!! I broke up with Haru so that he wouldn't have to face the same wrath I did!! Now it's all turned to shit!! Everything I've gone through up to now has been for nothing!!"

"Isuzu!! Pushing Haru away was never the right thing to do!! I understand that you did it with the best of intentions, but it only worked to cause the both of you more pain!!"

"That might be, but its protected Haru all this time from Akito!!"

"Don't think so lowly of Haru!!" I suddenly screamed. Isuzu stared shocked at me. "Do you honestly think that Haru is incapable of surviving Akito's wrath?! Do you think that he'd allow it?! Dammit Isuzu, I never expected you to be so stupid!! Haru isn't a child!! He doesn't to be guided around or protected!! He's perfectly capable of taking care of himself!! You should know that by now!!"

Isuzu closed her eyes and let out a shaky sigh. I could tell she was on the verge of tears.

"I'm going to my room now." She got up, but I quickly grabbed her hand.

"Isuzu, at least promise me this. You are in a mess now, but don't try to run away. You won't have to face it alone anymore. Haru won't allow you to. So please do him and yourself a favor and stop lying to yourself!!"

Isuzu was silent for a long while. Then she said, "Fine, I promise." She broke free of my loose hold and went into her room.

---

Akito wasn't exactly thrilled to see Isuzu back, nor was he thrilled that I had failed to report to him that she had returned. But with Hatori's insistence Akito wasn't able to 'scold' me. Hatori took an extra step to make sure Akito couldn't 'scold' Isuzu for disappearing and Akito made no attempt to. I guessed that he had been sick of having 'accidents' along with her.

Haru did seem to be on the brighter side of things lately. He stopped by the house frequently, disguising it as visiting me while I was recovering. Truthfully he spent most of the visits with Isuzu. I was glad to see him much happier.

And he kept true to his promise. I knew this because Akito was still alive.

Despite her own misgivings, Isuzu was starting to crack around Haru. Even though she put herself through hell to keep away from Haru, she was definitely a _lot _happier than she had been when she had returned.

I had my own happiness too. The end of the first month of my recovery was coming to a close. I still had a long way to go, but I was feeling healthier as the days went by.

And happier with the phone calls I got from Kyo. Apparently no one really had any idea that Haru and Isuzu were back together. Even if I hated keeping stuff from the other Juunishi, the less they knew the less Akito knew.

"How are things there?" I asked cheerfully, avoiding the topic of Isuzu.

"Fine," said Kyo. "Things are getting back to normal."

"Normal?"

"Yeah. When Yuki and Tohru first hooked up there was this kinda cheesy atmosphere around the house. Even Shigure couldn't ignore it, though he teased them constantly about it. Now they're a little less lovey-dovey and back into a normal routine."

I laughed. "Lovey-dovey? I never expected Yun-kun to be so open with his feelings!"

"Yeah, me either. But Tohru has that kind of effect on people."

I smiled a little. I could tell that Kyo was getting over the rejection. He was speaking more and more casually about Yuki and Tohru's relationship and it didn't seem like it bothered him anymore.

"Tohru is a wonder," I said. "It's amazing how positive she can be."

"Don't I know it. Somehow most of the school found out they were going out and those freaky girls in her class sometimes give her a hard time. But she's got that Yankee girl to help her out."

"That's good. I wouldn't want Tohru to face any problems."

Silence followed this, which was odd. Usually we had a lot to talk about in our phone conversations. I knew there were a lot of things I wanted to say to Kyo, but I didn't. I was sure he didn't want to hear them.

"Kyo-kun—"

"You should come over sometime," Kyo said suddenly. "I'm sure it's been boring being held up in that house of yours for a month."

"A little bit. But Hatori wants me to make a speedy recovery with no complications. I have an appointment with him in a few days; I'll bring it up with him then."

"Appointment? Something wrong?"

"No, no. He's just going to check my stitches to see how far along I am with healing." I was kinda surprised to hear the concern in Kyo's voice.

"That's good." The relief in his voice surprised me too. "Don't scare me like that!"

"Sorry. I'll call you after the appointment to tell you what he said."

"Okay."

After the conversation ended, I went to lie on my bed.

_What was that?_ I thought, staring at the wall. _He was suddenly concerned for me. All I need is a check-up; I've never heard him use that tone before. _

I sat up. _Wait…could it be that he likes me? And not just as a friend?_

I lay back down. _No, it couldn't be. Dammit, I have to stop with this wishful thinking! It just gets me upset in the long run! No, he's just concerned about me as a friend would be. After all, we _are _close friends. I'd be just as concerned if it were anyone else._

Somehow, this thought only worked to make me feel depressed.

---

A few days later I went to see Hatori for the check-up. Mom came with me to avoid problems, though Isuzu stayed home. I had a feeling Haru was going to visit for a short time while we were gone.

Hatori was as calm as ever as he took off the bandages and examined the stitches. I was a little scared though. I had been careful to take care of myself the past month, but I was afraid of a sudden infection.

"Looking good," said Hatori, calming all my fears. "No infections and the stitches are still in place."

"Does that mean I can take a shower now?" I asked hopefully.

"I'm sorry, but the stitches are too delicate. You're going to have to wait a few more weeks."

Well, you can't always have your way. As Mom and I were leaving I remembered what Kyo and I had talked about. "Hatori!"

"Yes?"

"Um, I was wondering, since I'm healing all right, if I can go visit Shigure's house sometime."

"Kagura—"

"I know I should stay at home in bed, but I want some fresh air and see everyone there." _And see Kyo…_

Hatori thought about it for a moment. "Let me think about it. I'll contact you about it."

I was a little disappointed that he didn't give me the okay right away, but it was better than 'no'.

I kept to my promise and called Kyo afterwards. It had started to rain and it thundered loudly overhead.

"So everything's okay?" he asked.

"Well, Hatori said he needed to think about it—"

"No dammit, I meant your stitches!"

"Oh. They're still intact and there aren't any infections."

"That's good."

"To be honest, I was a little afraid of getting an infection. But I made sure to take care of myself to prevent that."

Kyo was silent for a long while. I was a little worried that he hung up. "Kyo-kun?"

"Kagura, can I tell you something?"

"Yeah, go ahead. Is something wrong?"

"No, it's not that. It's just that I…"

I waited patiently as Kyo stammered on the other line. My heart was started to pound quickly. Was he…?

"Damn, this is so fucking embarrassing! To hell with it, I—"

Suddenly, there was a blast of lightning and the power went out. I sat frozen as I still held the phone. It was completely silent.

Whatever Kyo was saying, I didn't hear it.

---

I was depressed for days. Sure, the power came right back on but that didn't help my situation. Whatever Kyo was about to say, the storm cut him off. And he didn't bring it up again in later conversations.

After those few days Hatori came over. He wore something of a smile as he addressed me.

"Ayame is causing havoc at Shigure's house again," said Hatori. "I'm heading over to bring him home. But I was thinking that I could stay for a little while longer?"

My heart burst with joy. Hatori was going to take me to Shigure's house!

He didn't drive all the way up to the doorstep this time, but he still drove close to the house. He told me to wait as he got out and he helped me out of the car. I leaned on him for support as we approached Shigure's house. The familiarity of it was really heartwarming. The forest of trees, the wide expansive roof, the laundry hanging out to dry—

Ayame's loud voice echoing the area.

Hatori sighed heavily as he opened the front door. He didn't even bother knocking. Now that we were inside I could clearly hear Ayame going on another speech while Yuki and Kyo yelled at him to get out. Hatori helped me through the house and walked straight to the main room.

"It was a shivering, sunny day. The sun's hot rays reflected off the white snow—" Ayame's voice

"Get out!!" Yuki's voice.

"Get the hell out!!" Kyo's voice.

"Everyone please calm down!" Tohru's voice.

Hatori pushed open the door. "Oi."

"Hatori-san! Kagura-chan!" said Tohru, standing up to greet us. Hatori helped me into the room and I was met by a quick hug from Tohru.

"Kagura-chan!" cooed Shigure, waving to me. "Looking as lovely as ever I see!"

"Are you taking him home?" asked Yuki wearily, motioning to Ayame. Then he turned to me. "I'm glad to see you looking better, Kagura."

"Not right away," said Hatori, helping me sit at the table. "I'm allowing Kagura to visit for a short while."

"'Tori-san!!" said Ayame. "I was just telling them about the senior prank—"

"Get him out of here!!" yelled Yuki. He looked ready to strike.

"Aw, Yuki!! You know you want me around!"

"Don't make things up!! Go home!!"

Ayame went off on his story while Yuki yelled at him to get out. Hatori calmly sat next to Shigure and they went off in a completely different conversation. Tohru was trying to calm Yuki down and prevent him from attacking his older brother.

It was when I noticed that Kyo wasn't doing anything that I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see Kyo staring at me with a serious look.

"We need to talk," he said softly.


	11. Part 11

Part 11

"Let's go outside," said Kyo, offering a hand to me.

I hesitantly accepted his hand and he carefully pulled me to my feet. If Hatori had any objection to us leaving, then he didn't voice it. He briefly glanced at us, then quickly returned to his conversation with Shigure.

Kyo helped me towards the front door, Yuki and Ayame's loud voices fading behind us.

"Ugh, I'm so glad to be out of there," said Kyo once we were outside. I could still hear Ayame and Yuki, but not as loudly as when we were inside.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked calmly.

"Hang on," said Kyo. He moved me over to a tree and sat me down against it. I half-expected him to sit down next to me. But he remained standing and started pacing around.

"Is something wrong?" I asked again, wondering why he was acting like that.

He stopped pacing and turned to face me.

"I wanted to thank you for being a good friend to me," he said. "You've been a greater friend to me than anyone ever has."

A disappointed feeling squirmed in my stomach. I was hoping for something bigger. "You didn't need to bring me outside to tell me that. I'm sure everyone—"

"Dammit, that's not why I brought you outside!" Kyo snapped. He redirected himself. "Sorry, I didn't mean to yell."

"It's all right. Do you want to tell me why you wanted our conversation to be private?" the feeling was gone, but I didn't want to get _too _hopeful.

"Um…" Kyo trailed off and started pacing again. I watched him patiently and hopefully. Surely something making him _this _edgy was…

"I-I-all right," he said after ten minutes of pacing. "I wanted to talk about that phone conversation."

"You mean the one…"

"Yeah, when the power went out at the Sohma house. I wanted to tell you something then."

I nodded, my hopes rising against my will. "You've been avoiding the topic."

"Well, I'm not now. What I mean is…what I said was…"

Whatever he wanted to say, he was still being hesitant about it. But I could also tell that he really wanted to spit it out. When he decided to speak again he sat down in front of me.

"Do you still care about me?" he asked.

I blinked, surprised. "Kyo-kun, I've always cared—"

"I mean, love me?" he was starting to turn red. "I mean that obsessive-compulsive love?" he added before I could say that I always loved him.

I blushed a little. "I can't really say. I can't beat you senseless because I don't have the strength to anymore. But it was pretty self-explanatory in the letter I wrote to you."

"Tell me then."

I stared at him. I've told him I loved him nearly a billion times in my life. Most of which was during the times I was beating him senseless.

But this time…saying it seemed to matter more than those billion times. Saying it then seemed to make me more nervous than anything before. But it wouldn't help me to hide from my feelings. And being a naturally open person, I wasn't about to hide it.

"I love you, Kyo-kun," I answered, staring him straight in the eyes. "I've always loved you. I'll be honest; when you rejected me I tried to squash my feelings. Even more so when I discovered I had cancer. But this feeling…it gave me more comfort than words ever could. It didn't matter that you didn't feel the same way; knowing that my love could survive even the worse of crises was comfort enough."

Kyo remained silent. I really wished that he would speak, especially since I just bore my feelings for him.

Then he did something that startled me. He reached out and took one of my hands. He held it gently in both of his hands.

"I'm not good with feelings," he said softly. "Even when I confessed to Tohru, it was hard. It took all my self-control to keep from pissing myself. When those two first hooked up I would get so angry and depressed that I couldn't leave my room. But, you helped me to deal with some of my feelings…even though I'm still bad at them.

"What I'm saying is…ever since we became close friends and had phone conversations, I've had this feeling. It's similar to what I felt for Tohru, but different at the same time. I want to say that it's love, but I can't be sure."

I gasped loudly. Love? For me? Did Kyo just say…?

"I…I want to go out with you. I think this feeling _is _love, but I want to make sure. So…I figured if we were a couple I could figure it out. And from there…we can figure it out together."

This wasn't real. I mean, it _couldn't _be real. This had to be a dream. I mean, I had always dreamed that Kyo would return my feelings and here we were, with Kyo confessing to me.

The emotion got to me and I burst out crying. Kyo yelped in surprised as I grabbed him and hugged him tightly. He panicked, probably thinking that he had offended me, and tried to comfort me.

"I'm sorry. I-I-I didn't mean to rush it like that. Please, please don't cry. I didn't mean to scare you…"

I laughed through my tears and pulled away. I quickly got in control of myself and wiped away my tears.

"I'm crying because I'm happy," I gasped. "You have no idea how long I've waited for you to say that to me."

Kyo looked relieved that he didn't hurt my feelings, but also very embarrassed about his confession and my emotional outburst.

"I have to warn you, though," I continued, sobering. "It probably won't be fun to have me as a girlfriend. I'm still recovering from the surgery and it'll take a little more than a year for me to fully heal. Not to mention Hatori will restrict any activities I do."

Kyo nodded. "Yeah, I kinda figured that. But I'm not gonna back down because of that. We can still be boyfriend and girlfriend, even if we can't do too much together."

I laughed again. "I guess so. It'll still be hard though."

Kyo was silent. But he still held onto my hand and smiled a little.

It was then that Hatori came out of the house, announcing that it was time to go home. Ayame was in toll, hopping about merrily. Yuki stood not too far away, blue in the face while Tohru tried to fan him. Shigure cheerfully saw them off.

Kyo helped me stand up and walked me over to Hatori.

"I'll call you later," he said. Then, with a bright red face, he gave me a quick kiss on the cheek!

I don't remember too much of what happened after that. I was floating around in a pink haze and my mind had gone blank. Surely it had been the best day of my life. Not only did Kyo confess his feelings for me, but he asked me out! It couldn't get any better than that!

_You're so naïve_, said a small voice. _Do you think Kyo-kun actually loves you? He's on the rebound after being rejected by Tohru! He needs someone, and you happen to be the only person available. Besides, he can hug you without turning into the Cat. He isn't going after the other girls; Kisa kinda has Hiro and Isuzu has Haru. Not too many options left._

_You may be right,_ I snapped back. _Kyo-kun might be doing this on the rebound. But I can tell that he truly does care about me. And if you're right and he doesn't love me, then he'll grow to love me as a couple. And if that doesn't work, then I'll let him go. But that doesn't mean I'm going to throw away this only chance to be with the one person I love more than anything in the world!_

So, even my own self-doubts couldn't spoil my mood. I finally got what I wanted.

---

"Did something happen?" asked Isuzu. "You've been awfully happy lately."

My pink haze hadn't faded, even after several days. But I was more alert as to what was going on as those days went by.

"Kyo-kun said something to me," I said dreamily.

"Uh huh. Judging from your sudden burst of cheerfulness over the past several days I can guess it was something good."

I nodded. "He asked me out."

Isuzu's jaw dropped. "What?! Are you serious? The same Kyo who treated you like shit and rejected you?"

I nodded.

Isuzu rubbed her forehead. "I don't mean to spoil your mood Kagura, but Kyo might—"

"Be just going out with me on the rebound," I finished for her. She blinked several times before nodding. "I know that. I had to take that into consideration when I agreed to go out with him. I think he wants to really let go of Tohru, and hopes that by going out with me his feelings for me will grow and he can let go of her."

"Kagura—"

"If Kyo-kun doesn't love me when everything is said and done, you know he'd tell me and not continue our relationship. But I think this is a good chance for me."

"Are you sure?"

"If all Kyo-kun wants is some girl to nurture and mother him, then I'm not that girl. I told him straight-up that I wouldn't make much of a girlfriend right now because I was still recovering. But, he didn't care and still wanted to go out with me."

Isuzu closed her eyes and laughed a little. "That doesn't sound like something Kyo would say. Okay, you might be right. I just don't want that jerk to give you a hard time."

I laughed too. "Don't worry. I'm sure he won't."

---

The next few weeks flew by like a breeze to me. I was so happy and having so much fun that I didn't notice the time had past.

Kyo called me three times a day practically, each conversation longer than the last. I think it was because we were going out, but we were a lot more comfortable talking to one another. We seemed more open with what was on our minds.

My checkups with Hatori were going smoothly too. I was being extremely careful with myself so I wouldn't get an infection.

Kyo seemed nervous about each of the checkups. Once he even tested Akito's wrath and came over to the Sohma house to be with me during one of my checkups.

"Very nice," said Hatori, closely examining the stitches. "They're not a delicate as before, but I still advise against bathing yet."

"So she's still all right?" asked Kyo.

"Yes. I would say if something was infected or not."

Kyo gave a little sigh of relief.

Hatori quirked a tiny smile. "I think what Kagura needs is some hot food."

I laughed. "All right. I think my Mom has—"

"There's a diner not too far from here. Only five minute walk. Can I trust you to be careful, Kyo?"

"Yeah," said Kyo.

"All right." Hatori pulled out a credit card and handed it to Kyo. "Both of you can get some hot food. Just don't get anything too expensive."

I gaped at Hatori. Was he letting me go outside without his supervision? And was he lending Kyo his credit card?

_This is too strange_, I thought. _Hatori is the family doctor, and he's stressed the importance of staying in my house! Yet here he was, sending Kyo-kun and me out on a date!_

_Then again, maybe he just wants me to have a break. The only time I've left the compound since my surgery was when he drove me to Shigure's house._

"If she's starts hurting, bring her back here right away," warned Hatori. I couldn't help but smile. More and more he seemed like an older brother to me.

---

The trip to the diner was easy enough. I checked in with Isuzu about it and she told me to have fun. I caught Mom out the door as she was leaving to go grocery shopping. She was a little worried about me being so far away from home, but still told me to have fun. Kyo "borrowed" Haru's bicycle and we rode there. Even if the idea of  "borrowing" didn't appeal to me, it was still easier and quicker to get there than on foot.

It was a fun date. Kyo ordered something small for himself while he pushed me to get a large meal. I personally didn't want to charge anything too big onto Hatori's credit card, but Kyo said he would understand. So I complied.

"The idiot's really pissing me off," mumbled Kyo as he chewed his food.

"Well, Momiji has a hyperactive personality," I responded. "Whatever he does is just a normal routine for him."

"Yeah. Pissing me off seems to be his ritual. So I smack him around for it."

I laughed. "Aw, poor Momiji!"

"Poor me! I have to put with it everyday at school!"

"Is he still wearing a girl's uniform?"

"Unfortunately."

I laughed again. I knew that Kyo kinda doted on Momiji. He didn't really hate him, but his cute hyperactive personality was too much for him to handle.

It wasn't too long before we were finished and paying for our meal. Hatori had been right; what I really needed was some hot food. And it had been a long time since I had been able to finish a meal.

The ride home was spent talking about one thing or another. I was really having a lot of fun. I was afraid that any date we would go on would turn out to be boring, but I had fun.

Kyo entered the gates of the Sohma house and rode all the way to Haru's house. He parked the bike as quietly as he could so Haru wouldn't see that we took it.

"Do you want me to walk you to walk you back to your house?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Hatori told me to be careful, but I think I can manage walking a few feet without help."

Kyo nodded. Then he did something surprising. He pulled me close and kissed me full on the lips! I was in shock so I just stood there and did nothing. The kiss ended just as quickly as it started, both of us with red faces.

"I'll call you later," he said. He turned and ran towards the Sohma house gate.

I laughed a little and walked back to my house. Or, at least I thought I walked. It kinda felt like I was floating again, much like when he confessed to me. Kyo never was this direct with feelings. Now that he was, I had no complaints.

"I'm home!" I called as I entered my house. The walk put no strain on my stitches so I wasn't worried.

"Welcome home!" Mom called from the kitchen. "How was your date with Kyo?"

I laughed as I passed the kitchen. "It was all right. Remind me to give Hatori his credit card back tomorrow."

"I don't think I'll need to. He'll probably stop by to pick it up."

"Okay." I headed towards Isuzu's room, since she wasn't in any of the other rooms. _Maybe she decided to turn in early?_ I knocked and opened her door. "Isuzu, I'm ho—"

Her room was empty. A worried feeling coursed through me. I checked the other rooms in my house, even my own. But she wasn't in any of them.

_Calm down! _I ordered myself. _She's probably out with Haru!_

_But Haru _was _at home. All the lights were on in his house!_

I headed back towards the kitchen. "Mom, have you seen Isuzu?"

Mom shook her head. "I told her to stay here while I was shopping since we were having an early dinner. She said okay, but she's not one for the rules, is she?"

A foreboding feeling passed over me. Just like the night that Haru kidnapped her.

Haru…

I hurried towards the front door, not giving Mom a chance to ask where I was going. I half-ran, half-walked to Haru's house. I didn't want to overexert myself, but I had to speak to Haru.

I hurried up to his door and banged on it. "Haru!!"

Moments later, Haru came to the door. He looked shocked to see me. "Kagura, what—"

"Where's Isuzu?!" I demanded. "She was at my house, and then she was gone!"

"What are you talking about?!"

"She's gone missing again!!"

Haru's eyes widened. "Missing?! You can't find her?!"

I gaped at him. "You mean you don't have her?"

"No! What reason do I have now to kidnap her?!" Haru ran a hand through her hair. "Where could she have gone? She promised me she wouldn't run away!!"

I didn't know what to say. When Haru kidnapped Isuzu, he acted completely neutral when the others talked about it. Now he was panicked. This clearly meant he had no idea where she was.

"I'm going to go look for her." Haru threw on his coat and shoes and ran off. I sat down on his porch, not having the energy at the moment to walk home.

_I have a very bad feeling_, I thought. _I was scared when she disappeared the time Haru kidnapped her. But it feels different this time. Very different. And I can't help but think that something terrible is going to happen…_


	12. Part 12

Part 12

The next several days dragged on for me. Not only was Hatori not available to take me anywhere, but Isuzu was still missing.

I sighed heavily, watching the rain fall. The weather had become rather muggy lately. If it wasn't raining it was cloudy and humid. There were times I'd see Haru enter the main gates covered in mud and soaked. I knew he was spending hours looking for Isuzu out there in the rain. And I knew from his expressions that he wasn't being successful.

I stood up. "Mom, I'm going outside for a little bit."

Mom gave me a startled look. "Kagura—"

"Don't worry, I won't go far. I won't even leave the front porch."

"…All right. But if you start feeling strange…"

"Don't worry, I'll come back inside."

I smiled and went to get my rain coat. Even though I was still recovering and my stitches were still delicate, I was being given more liberties with each check-up. At my last one Hatori said that as long as it didn't cause much strain I could go outside. But I couldn't be outside five feet of my house.

Once I was outside I sat down in front of my front door. The rain was falling in a light drizzle; not a full-blown storm. I knew that it wouldn't be long before a huge rainstorm hit.

"I wonder when I can see Kyo-kun again," I murmured. I hadn't seen him since our small date. And phone conversations didn't feel like enough anymore. "Where are you, Isuzu…"

That was when I heard it. It was faint, but I definitely heard it.

"Somebody! Please help me!"

My head shot up. Someone needed help!

I stood up, but quickly remembered the promise I made to Mom and the restrictions Hatori put on me. I couldn't leave this spot.

"Oh God, somebody help me! Get me out of here!"

That voice sounded so urgent! How could I just ignore it?

"Help! Haru! Kagura! _Anybody!!_"

My blood froze as I recognized that voice. _Isuzu!!!_

Abandoning my promise, I zipped up my raincoat and pulled on my hood. I headed out into the rain, desperately trying to follow Isuzu's voice.

_Where is she?!_ I thought to myself. I walked around the perimeter of the Sohma house. Save an occasional relative, I saw no one.

"Isuzu!!" I hissed, though I knew she probably wouldn't hear me.

"Help! Please help me…"

She sounded so far away. But she also sounded like she was still in the compound.

"Kagura!" a startled voice came from behind. I yelped and quickly turned around to see who it was.

It was Kazuma. He was holding an umbrella close over his head.

"I knew it was you I saw out my window," he said. He was calm, but a look of worry was etched in his face.

"I—" I stuttered. I honestly didn't know what to tell him. Seeing as I couldn't find Isuzu, I didn't think he would believe.

"Why are you outside? Aren't you supposed to be recovering from your surgery?"

"Um…I—"

"Never mind. Here, I'll take you home. With any luck your mother won't notice that you left."

I had no choice but to comply. I didn't have enough stamina to run away from him and even if I tried he would probably tell Mom. So I took his outstretched hand and let him lead me home.

_I'm sorry, Isuzu. I'll look for you the next chance I get!!_

---

My next chance didn't come for a long while. Despite Kazuma dropping me off at home unnoticed, Mom somehow figured out that I had disobeyed her. So she grounded me to my room. She _did _promise not to tell Hatori about my disobedience since nothing bad had happened to me.

But my grounding not only prevented me from looking for Isuzu, but it also prevented me from talking to Kyo.

I have to say that one good thing came of it. I got a nice visit from some good friends.

"Kagura, you have visitors," said Mom on that day.

"Mom, did you ground me and forbid any visitors?" I asked.

"Yes, but I think you learned your lesson. I'll send them in."

I sighed and leaned back into the pillows of my bed. Moments later, Mom sent in the visitors. I was very shocked at who they were.

"Hi, Kagura-chan!" greeted Tohru. She came over and gave me a warm hug.

"Hello," said Yuki, smiling a little.

"Hey," said Kyo, waving a little. My heart sank a little, feeling that Kyo didn't want to display any feelings towards me while Yuki and Tohru were there. But I felt better when he came to sit next to me and took my hand.

"You're looking so much better!" said Tohru, looking visibly relieved.

"Thanks," I said, smiling. "I'm surprised that you all came to visit. I know that this place isn't exactly a comfort zone…"

"Hatori said that the weather was making Akito sick," said Yuki. "Since he can't do much when he's sick, Honda-san felt that we should take the risk and come out here."

"It looks like you've been cooped up in here," said Tohru.

"I got grounded for a little bit," I answered, shrugging my shoulders. "But Mom feels I've learned my lesson."

"I know what we can do!" said Tohru, suddenly changing the subject. "How about we all go out this Sunday? I don't have to work that day so we can have fun!"

"Sunday's in two days," I said, feeling uneasy. "I'd have to ask Hatori about it."

"I'll talk to him about it," said Kyo, squeezing my hand.

Yuki seemed to take this as a sign. "Honda-san, I'm feeling a little thirsty. How about we go get some sodas?"

"Sure," said Tohru, standing. "Do you two want anything?"

"No thanks," I answered.

"Get me whatever you guys are getting," said Kyo off-handedly.

"Okay!" then they both left. Leaving me alone with Kyo.

"I was a little worried," he said, squeezing my hand again. "When you didn't call me back after several days."

"Mom just grounded me, that's all," I reassured him.

"Why'd she ground you?"

"I wandered too far away from the house."

"You _idiot!!_" Kyo yelled. "Why would you do that? Don't you want to make a full recovery?!"

"Of course I do. It's just that I heard Isuzu's voice."

"Rin? Now that you mention it, I haven't seen her lately."

"She disappeared the same day you took me on that date. I was sitting down and I heard her crying for help."

"So you went to go find her?"

"Well, she sounded like she was still in the compound. I didn't think it would take me too long. But Kazuma found me and took me home."

"So she's gone again."

"Yes."

"No wonder Haru's been so depressed lately."

Silence followed this. I wanted to change the subject, even though this was a very serious topic.

"Um, do you want to go on that double date with Yun-kun and Tohru-kun?"

Kyo blinked. "Yeah, kinda. It'd give us a chance to be together, seeing as we can't be together much. But…"

"But what?"

"Tohru wants to take us to this mini-amusement park that just opened. I don't know if it'd be much fun, though. You can't go on any of the rides because you're still recovering. And if Yuki goes on a ride he might get sick."

"Don't worry!" I said. "Amusement parks are fun! We Juunishi members don't have many opportunities to go to them. I'm sure it'll be fun!"

"I guess so. I think Tohru mainly wants to go because it's full of gift shops and sweet shops, not so much for the rides."

"Really? In that case, I really want to go!"

Kyo laughed. "Okay, okay."

We talked some more for another five minutes until Yuki and Tohru came back. All four of us talked about how we were going to convince Hatori to allow me to go. Kyo kept insisting that he talk to Hatori, but Yuki said that it would probably be better if he did it. This of course sprung an argument with Tohru trying to play the mediator. I couldn't help but laugh. It really looked like the three of them had mended fences.

I saw them off at the front gates, though I had to convince Mom to let me do it.

"Ayame-san's back at Shigure's house," said Tohru. "We'll all try talking to Hatori-san about letting you come."

"Thanks," I said, waving them off. I watched them walk out of sight, seeing Yuki and Kyo break into another argument. I couldn't help but laugh as I closed the gate and headed back to my house.

"Help me! Please somebody!"

I froze in my tracks. It was Isuzu's voice again. But once again I couldn't tell where she was.

"Where are you?" I said absently, staring around the empty compound.

It was then that a raindrop hit my shoulder. I couldn't look for Isuzu at that point. Especially since it was about to rain again and I was only wearing a light sweater.

_I'm sorry, Isuzu_, I thought as I quickly walked back to my house.

---

"What's this about an amusement park?"

"Eh?" I looked up. Hatori had been giving me a check-up when he suddenly asked me.

"When I went to retrieve Ayame, Tohru, Yuki, and Kyo asked me to let you go to that new amusement park with them."

I held my breath. This was the moment of truth. But his next statement surprised me.

"Do you want to go?"

"I-uh-um, yes I do," I stuttered, amazed that Hatori didn't immediately shoot down the idea.

Hatori sighed. "Your stitches are still looking great. You should be rewarded for taking such good care of yourself."

My heart burst with joy. "Thanks, Hatori!"

"I'm afraid you might have a good time though," he added. "Sunday's forecast says rainfall all day. And we're scheduled to get the worst rainfall yet close to this evening."

This sunk my spirits. And sure enough, Sunday came with muggy weather and on and off rain. The park was definitely going to be closed.

"So much for a fun Sunday," I moaned, lying facedown on my bed.

A knock came at my door. "Come in!"

Tohru came in, all smiles. "Are you ready?"

I looked at her. "Tohru, the park's probably not open."

"I know. But that doesn't mean we can't have fun. I know a sweetshop not too far from here. Since we can't go to the park, I'm treating us to some sweets."

This did help to raise my spirits. I got loaded up with warm clothing and Tohru helped me out the door. Even though I had enough energy to walk on my own, I knew she wanted me to save it.

As we headed to the front gate, I felt a pair of eyes on me. I turned to see Akito at his window, eyeing Tohru and me with a strange.

I didn't know why at the time, but a cold sensation flooded over me when I looked at him. Like a premonition of some sort.

But, I brushed it off when I saw Yuki and Kyo waiting for us outside the gates.

Even with the disappointed of no amusement park, I still had fun at the sweetshop. It had been awhile since I had eaten sweets; I barely ate the ones my relatives sent me as a get-well gift. But it was fun to be there and to be around my friends. I even forgot about Isuzu's disappearance and Akito's strange look while I was there.

At one point Yuki and I were left alone at the table. Kyo had gone to the bathroom and Tohru went off to admire some plush toys on display.

"I take it you and Kyo are a couple now?" asked Yuki.

"Yes," I said. "Um, are things better with you guys?"

Yuki nodded. "We were making amends anyway but after that time Hatori and you stopped by Kyo apologized to us." Yuki sighed and stared at Tohru. "He's an idiot, but he did love her. I wasn't exactly nice to about it. But…being with you seems to make him feel better, so it makes Honda-san feel better. Not to mention he's not as much of an idiot as he was before."

I laughed. "I'm kinda glad things worked out this way. You love Tohru and she loves you back and you're together. I've always love Kyo-kun and I think he's growing to love me, and we're together. It feels like nothing can go wrong at this point."

Yuki laughed a little. "It seems that way."

It seemed like the outing was too short when we all decided to go home. They walked me home to avoid any complications and I was happy for it.

"Do you need me to walk you to your house?" asked Tohru.

I shook my head. "Thanks for the wonderful day." I went up to Kyo and gave him a quick kiss. He turned red, but responded to it. "I'll call you later, Kyo-kun."

Kyo nodded. "I'll talk to you later."

I nodded. "Bye guys!" I entered the gates, gave them a wave, and then closed it.

I hummed a little tune as I walked to my house. I was definitely feeling better than I had in days.

"Help!"

I stopped short again. The desperation in Isuzu's voice was impossible to ignore now. Throwing caution to the wind I ran home.

"Mom, I'm home!" I yelled, throwing off my sweaters and jackets. It was then that I noticed a note. I picked it up, reading that Mom was out buying a new set of dishes.

_This is great, _I thought, running to get my on raincoat on. I was only wearing a thin long-sleeved button down white shirt and dark blue loose jeans, but I didn't care. _If Mom comes home and I'm not here, she won't worry because she'll still think I'm out._

I pulled on my raincoat and yanked on a pair of boots. Then I took off outside.

It was overcast, but the rain hadn't restarted up. I was careful this time in my search to make sure no one spotted me. I looked around each of the house, trying to follow Isuzu's voice. My hope grew as I got closer, hearing her cries get louder and louder.

Finally, they were at their loudest. But I was in an empty area, save a single house at the back of the compound. My hope sank as I looked around the empty area.

"Kagura!! Over here!!"

I blood froze. She saw me! But I didn't know where she was!

"Isuzu?" I yelled, throwing caution to the wind. I didn't care who saw me at that point.

"Down here!" this time the yell seemed more precise. I looked down towards the ground and shrieked.

Isuzu's pale, sickly face stared up at me from the ground. Rather, just underneath the house.

"Isuzu!!" I ran over, slipping in the mud. I knelt down and grabbed her outstretched hands through the bars. "Oh my God!! What happened to you?!"

"Akito found out," she gasped, her voice weary. "He found out Haru and I were seeing each other again. When your mom and you left he sent a bunch of cronies to kidnap me and bring me to him. He tried to beat me to death, but I fought back. I beat him just as hard as he beat me. But his cronies came in and knocked me out.

"When I woke up, I was here. Akito sat where you are now and taunted me; telling me he was never going to let me out of here. And just a few days ago, he stopped feeding me! Kagura, he's trying to kill me! You've got to let me out of here!!"

"Don't worry," I assured her. "I'll get you out of here. I'm going to go get something to break you out of there."

Isuzu weakly squeezed my hands. "Thank you so much, Kagura. Be sure to get something powerful. My door has a lot of locks."

I gave her a reassuring smile and got up. Ignoring Hatori and Mom's warnings I took off at a run across the complex. I immediately felt the strain in my stitches, but I ignored it. If I didn't get Isuzu out of there she was going to die. That took higher priority at the moment.

I ran to Hatori's house, completely out of breath. "Hatori!! _Hatori!!_"

His door opened, but it wasn't Hatori that answered. Momiji did.

"Kagura, hi!" greeted Momiji, smiling.

"Momiji, I have to talk to Hatori right now!!"

"I'm sorry, but he's not here now. He said he had an errand and would be back." His face suddenly became worried. "Is something wrong? Do your stitches hurt?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I couldn't get Momiji involved in this. At least Hatori would be able to survive Akito's wrath.

"N-no, I'm fine," I said, throwing on a fake smile. "Just wanted to ask him something. Bye!"

I left, my heart pounding like crazy. How was I going to get Isuzu out of that place? All the adult Juunishi, with the exception of Kureno, weren't at the house! And Haru was still out there looking for Isuzu!! Who was going to help me?

Then I remembered the tool shed. It had a sledgehammer in it.

That was strong enough to break the locks.

I ran to the tool shed, still ignoring the pain in my lower back. Once I broke Isuzu out, I would see Hatori about it.

I dug through the tool shed for ten minutes looking for the sledgehammer. I was worried that someone had taken it when I finally found it under a garden hoe.

"Yes!" I yelled yanking out the sledgehammer.

"What are you doing?!" asked a cold voice behind me. I turned around to see Hiro in a raincoat.

"I-uh-I-um—" I couldn't think of an excuse for the sledgehammer.

"Aren't you suppose to be in bed?!" Hiro demanded. "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?! Are you crazy?!"

"I—"

"You really _are _stupid!!"

"I—"

"I'm going to get someone." Hiro started away.

"No Hiro!!" I rushed forward and grabbed his arm. "It's Isuzu!! Akito has her locked up and is starving her to death!! If I don't get her out she's going to die!!"

Hiro stared at me, shocked. "Are you serious?"

"Yes! So please don't get someone!"

"I'm going to help you."

"Hiro, if Akito—"

"I don't care!" he snapped. "Let me see Rin!!"

I sighed heavily, reluctantly accepting Hiro's help and showed him the house at the back of the compound. Overhead, thunder boomed loudly.

"Isuzu, I'm back!" I said as I knelt by her window. Her face appeared seconds later. Hiro freaked out when he saw her.

"He really _is_ starving you!" he yelled, grabbing one of Isuzu's hands that were resting on the bars. "What the hell are you waiting for?! Get her out of there!"

I nodded and stood up, sledgehammer ready. "Hiro, keep a watch out for anyone. Give a yell if someone's coming."

"Yeah, yeah. Just get her out!"

I hesitantly stepped into the house. It was completely empty. There wasn't anything in it.

"Why did the family build this house if no one uses it?" I wondered out loud. There didn't seem to be an entrance to downstairs. I looked around until my toe hit something. I looked down to see a tiny latch.

"Bingo," I said, pulling on the latch. A square of floor came up, showing a flight of stairs leading downward. I started down the stairs, holding the sledgehammer ready in case a guard was down there. When I reached the bottom what I saw shocked me.

I was standing in front of a narrow path that had door lining the walls. The doors had multiple locks on them.

"I don't believe it," I breathed, walking along the path. "Is this some kind of prison?! On our own family compound?!"

I came to a door with numerous locks on it. I stupidly tapped on the door. "Isuzu?"

"Kagura!! I'm in here!" Isuzu responded.

"Stand back!" I yelled, swinging down the sledgehammer, taking out several of the locks. I gasped in pain from the strain on my lower back. But I didn't give up and swung again, taking out the rest of the locks. I fell against the door with the force of the swing and tried the doorknob. It was locked too. But I wound up for one last swing, taking out the doorknob entirely and falling to the floor. I climbed back to my feet and pushed open the door.

"Kagura!!" Isuzu weakly rushed forward and hugged me tightly. I noted with disdain just how small her prison was and how thin she was. I looked up to her tiny barred window to see that the storm I had been anticipating finally struck and that it was pouring outside.

"Here Isuzu," I said, tearing off my raincoat and putting it around her. "We've gotta go right now!"

Isuzu leaned on me for support as I led her out of her prison and up the stairs. I was in plenty pain myself, but Isuzu could barely walk. I had to get her out of the Sohma compound.

"Rin!!" Hiro shrieked, rushing forward and hugging her tightly.

"Hiro, we have to go!" I said urgently. "Akito's gonna find out Isuzu's out and he'll try to kill her!! We have to get her out of here!"

Hiro nodded, helping me support Isuzu as we left the house and set out into the rainstorm. Within seconds I was soaked to the bone. The lack of jacket was really taking its toll.

But we had to get Isuzu out of there. Her life was at stake!

The mixture of rain and the blackened clouds overhead didn't help us with visuals. Especially since we were so far away from the gates. But we continued on, practically dragging Isuzu.

Then it happened. We were no more than twenty feet away from the gates when a loud yell rang throughout the compound.

"SOMEONE BROKE INTO THE CELL HOUSE!!!!!!! WHO DID IT?!?! WHO LET THAT BITCH ESCAPE?!?!"

I turned to Hiro. Even though he helped us greatly I did not want Akito to see him with us. The results could be catastrophic. "Hiro, Hatori might be home now. Go get him and tell him Isuzu needs help."

"But—" said Hiro.

"Go Hiro! Isuzu needs help and Akito knows she's out!!"

Hiro slowly nodded and took off running. That left me to drag Isuzu to the entrance. It was then I realized just how much pain I was in. All the strain I put on myself that day was causing me so much pain!! My back hurt so much! I wailed from the pain and collapsed, taking Isuzu with me.

"WHERE THE FUCK DID SHE GO?!?! I'M GONNA KILL HER!!!"

I weakly nudged Isuzu. "Get up!! You've got to get out of here!!"

Isuzu managed to sit up weakly. "But Kagura—"

"Listen!! I have money in one of the pockets of that coat. It's not much, but it should be enough to get you away. If Akito catches you he'll probably kill you. You've gotten run!!"

"Kagura—"

"_Go!!!_" I weakly shoved her.

She sniffled and hugged me tightly. "Thank you so much! I'll never forget your kindness!" she kissed me on the forehead and struggled to her feet. With a loud sigh she took off at a run for the gate.

"THERE SHE IS!!! SOMEONE GET HER!!!!!

"_No!!!!_" I cried, painfully sitting up. But through the rain and my tears of pain I saw her reach the gates. With a quick shove she pushed one of the gate doors open and took off into the night.

Relief washed over me as I realized she made it out. I stood up on wobbling legs as I stared at the front gates slightly gaping open.

I never heard the fast approaching footsteps until it was too late. Unconsciously I weakly turned around.

"You _fucking bitch!!!!_" I felt fire across my face as a fist struck me. I found myself flying and landed with thud on the ground.

"You just _had _to go and interfere, _didn't you_?!" a foot came out and kicked me in the ribcage. I gasped in pain, unable to cry out. I tried weakly to stand up and get away from Akito and his wrath. But all I could manage to do was be on my hands and knees.

"Having cancer does _not _give you the special liberties to OVERRIDE MY DECISIONS!!!!!" he kicked me hard in the side, sending me rolling over in the mud until I stopped on my stomach.

"That bitch caused enough problems for me!!" he kicked me in the side again. "All you fucking Juunishi cause problems for me!!" he kicked me again. "I try to do the world a favor by erasing that _problematic whore_ and _you _have to go and let her out!!!" I could sense that he lifted his foot, and half expected him to kick me again.

But he didn't. Instead, he brought his foot down as hard as he could on my lower back. Exactly where my stitches were.

I saw stars as agonizing pain sliced through me. The shock of the blow prevented me from screaming.

"You just _had _to act like a big man didn't you?!" he stomped my stitches again, warranting a cry from me. "That's a decision you're going to regret for the rest of your short life!!"

Suddenly I heard a whoosh of air and seconds later Akito implanted both feet into my back. He literally jumped onto me! I shrieked in pain, helpless to his assault.

"That hurts, doesn't it?!" he dig his heels into my back and did it again, causing me to scream in agony. "I don't care!! Keep hurting!! It's what you get for crossing me!!"

Akito started yelled incoherently as he stomped my back. I was crying hysterically under the attack, trying and failing to get away from him.

"Help me!!!" I shrieked. "Somebody help me!! _Mom!!!!!!_"

Akito's yells and my cries did get some attention, though I was surprised that there wasn't any attention up to then.

"Akito!!" someone shrieked. Through my pain I recognized Momiji's voice. I heard a struggle and Akito was pulled off me. I lay there, too weak to even move. I couldn't touch my stitches, but I could tell they'd been torn because of the assault.

"Stop it!!" Momiji cried, and I realized he was trying to restrain Akito. "She's still—AGH!!!"

I heard another punch and I knew Akito struck Momiji. I heard his footsteps as he came back over to me. But I was too delirious from the rain and the prolonged exposure to the rain.

"I shouldn't have wasted family funds on you," he growled, and I knew he was going to do it again. "I should've just let you rot _along with the cancer!!!_"

Suddenly, I felt a body on me and arms circled me.

"I won't let you hurt her!" cried Momiji. "I won't let you!!"

I would've been gratified to Momiji at that point if Akito didn't resume his assault. He still stomped, but Momiji was shielding my back so he was stomping on both Momiji and me.

_Finally, _more people came responding to Akito's yells, Momiji's sobbing, and my weak moans. Voices overlapped in my ears, but it seemed like I could no longer make sense of them. I didn't know how badly injured I was, but I knew it was _really _bad. My vision was blurring up and I knew I was going to fall unconscious shortly.

The only things that seemed to make sense were Momiji's crying, Mom's hysterical sobbing and Hatori. I heard him next to me as he tore open my shirt to see how bad the damage was.

"Oh no. Somebody called an ambulance!!! _Now!!!!!_"

I moaned weakly, hearing the commotion grow weaker and my vision fading. I had passed out before, but it felt so different this time. So much stranger.

I didn't know if this was the last time I would be awake. I only regretted that I never got to call Kyo back.

"K-K-Kyo-k-k-kun…" I gurgled as everything turned to black.


	13. Part 13

Part 13

I heard soft voices all around me. Incoherent conversations, laced with sobs and yells. I felt paralyzed as I lay there with my eyes closed. It almost didn't seem like it was real.

_I should try opening my eyes_, I thought to myself. _Maybe I can see what's going on._

My eyes gave a slight flutter before they cracked open. The voices stopped abruptly and I was left with silence.

I opened my eyes fully to be greeted by a crystal clear blue sky. The sun shined brightly overhead, though it wasn't too blinding. It was a bit of a comfort compared to the weather I had seen.

Wait…where was I?

I finally managed to move my limbs and forced myself into a sitting position. It was in a beautiful flower field. Miles upon miles of daffodils surrounded me, dancing with the light touches of the cool wind. The mixture of the cool wind and the warm sun left a feeling of contentment within me.

But I didn't recognize this place.

"Where am I?" I spoke aloud. I raised a hand and touched my face. "Wait…I remember. Akito beat me until I fell unconscious…"

I didn't know how Akito's beating landed me in a place like this. Maybe he banished me?

I forced myself to stand and that was when I realized I was no longer wearing my light shirt, jeans, and boots. I was wearing a long sleeveless white dress with thin straps. The hem was buried deep within the flowers beneath me, but I could tell that I was barefoot.

_Where did I get such a beautiful dress? _I wondered, grabbing the skirt. _I didn't own it before!_

I looked around the area, the light wind blowing strands of my hair in my face. Still miles of daffodils in every direction. What a strange place this was. How'd I get here?

I knew that I wouldn't get any answers just standing there. So I started walking. It was difficult because of my long skirt and I wanted to avoid stepping on the daffodils, but I somehow managed. I continued walking, trying to figure out where I was.

_I took quite a beating, but I don't feel any pain. My back isn't sore. I don't even have a headache!_

I suddenly stopped in my tracks and my blood froze. I _did _receive a vicious beating at Akito's hands. He ripped open my stitches and probably injured my only kidney left.

_Am I dead? Did he beat me to death and this place is heaven? _I started hyperventilating. _No! I wasn't ready to die yet! What am I going to do?! Can I get back to my body?! This can't be happening!!_

It was then that I noticed a pond amongst the flowers. It was as clear as the sky above me, but a little girl was sitting in front of it. She had dark hair and her back was to me.

Still feeling frightened, I walked down the short hill of flowers I had been standing on and headed over to the little girl. She would know if this was indeed heaven.

"Um, excuse me," I said hesitantly. "But can you tell me where we are?"

The girl gave me no response, as if she didn't hear me.

"I mean, is this heaven? Are we both dead? I mean, this _does _look something like how heaven is described, but—"

The little girl giggled. "Kagura, you aren't dead though you were pretty close to it."

I blinked several times. How did she know my name? Nonetheless, I was relieved that I wasn't dead.

"But where am I?" I asked.

The girl slowly stood and turned around. I gasped loudly as I recognized myself. My image when I was just a child.

"This is the cavern of your mind," said my younger self.

"My mind? Why am I here?"

"How should I know? Maybe something bad happened to you."

I sat down. "Akito beat me until I lost consciousness."

My younger self shrugged. "Why didn't you fight back?"

"Because he was jumping on my back! Right where my stitches were!"

"Why was he?"

"Because I let Isuzu out! If you're me, then you should know this!"

"I am you. But I can't comprehend why you so spontaneous."

"Isuzu—"

"She was starving to death, I know. But Hatori was also on his way home. Couldn't you just wait a half hour until he came back and told him? Or did you think that he wouldn't care?"

"I was desperate!! I wanted to get her out of there!!"

"And you did. Look at you now."

"I…" I lowered my head. "I just wanted to save her."

"Really? Trying to make up for all the other times?"

My head shot up. "What—"

"When you turned a blind eye to the suffering of your Juunishi."

"I—"

"You grew up having the full love from your mother. But what about everyone else? Who did they have to comfort them? What you took for granted they lacked. Or can't you remember?" My younger self pointed forward. "Look."

I stared forward, expecting to see the miles of daffodils. But I saw a white scene that faded into a series of images. Images that were brief, but stabbed at my heart as I watched my memories unfold before me.

Seeing a young, sullen Yuki being handed over to a young Akito by a mother who didn't even give it a second thought.

Seeing a young Haru fighting back tears as adults taunted and insulted him for merely being the Cow.

Seeing a young Momiji wearing a sad expression as he watched his father, mother, and baby sister do family things…without him.

Seeing a young Isuzu with a blank face as her parents completely and openly rejected her.

Seeing a young Kana walked off and away from a young Hatori, having no memory of their love.

My heart ached for them as I watched their misery at such young ages. They were all as good as they could be. They never deserved anything that happened to them.

"Stop it!" I cried. "They may have had their misery, but others _did _have happiness! I wasn't the only one!"

More images appeared, but they greatly contrasted to the ones I had just had to see.

Seeing a very young Kisa walking with her mother, each wearing matching shy smiles.

 Seeing a very young Hiro as the Sheep being cradled closely by Satsuki, his mother who wore a loving expression.

Seeing my young self going on a rampage and breaking some dishes while Mom watched with a passive expression.

Seeing a young Kyo with Kazuma…

"How amusing that you bring Kyo-kun into the happy spectrum," said my younger self. The image evaporated. "When his trials as a child only rivaled those of Yuki's."

I stared at her. "But—"

"_This _is more appropriate," she interrupted, pointing at the scene.

Once again, a young Kyo was shown. But the images were worse.

Seeing him at his mother's funeral; how everyone avoided him like he was a parasite.

Seeing his father avoiding him at all cost; holding him fully responsible for the death of his mother, only calling him 'it'.

Seeing everyone avoiding him, never wanting to be around him.

"That's not true!" I put in. "He did have friends! He had Kazuma, Haru, me—"

"But you remember what happened to that," said my younger self, pointing again.

I immediately realized which memory I was being shown. "No! I don't wanna see it!!"

But, I couldn't avoid it. It played in front of me, even when I tried closing my eyes.

That fateful day when I accidentally pulled Kyo's bracelet off. I watched Kyo as he transformed into his third form, the frightening form that rivaled his cute Cat form. I didn't fear it; I only hurt for Kyo, knowing the agony he went through whenever he transformed.

My younger self in the flashback didn't share my sentiments. She was trembling from head to toe, staring at Kyo with fright and horror. Kyo reached for her, and she darted away.

"Monster!!" she shrieked, tears falling down her face. "Get away, monster!!!"

I choked out a sob and covered my face, trembling uncontrollably.

"Feel so righteous now?" asked the younger me beside me.

"I know what I did was wrong!!" I wailed. "I know I shouldn't have said such terrible things! I was only a child!! I didn't know any better!!"

"Does that excuse the way you treated him that day?" she asked softly. "All you did was push him away. No matter how much you apologize and swore you accepted him, he didn't believe you. As far as he knew, you were the same as everyone else; no longer his _Ne-chan_."

I sobbed into my hands. "I didn't mean it! I didn't mean to push him away! I didn't mean to ignore everyone's suffering! If I knew better, I would've tried to do more for them!!"

"What could you have done? You were only a child. True, Akito was a child too. But he was a child with power and the entire family's backing. No one cared who suffered as long as it wasn't them."

"But I'm not like that! I saved Isuzu from Akito! She's back together with Haru! And Kyo-kun loves me!"

"And Mom is scarred for life for seeing you lying there like that, Momiji probably ruptured something for trying to save you, and you added on the heavy burden of everyone."

I lifted my hands from my face. "Oh my God. Momiji really was hurt from Akito's assault."

"He took a lot of the blows. Since you're here, who knows what happened to him."

"Oh my God!!" I sobbed into my hands again.

Suddenly, I felt a bright light on me. I looked up to see a light brighter than the sun.

"There's your escape from your pain," said my younger self. "And to escape being a burden."

I blinked against the light, holding up a hand to shield my face.

"Of course, that's the easy way out. You can stay or you can follow that light. What are you going to do?"

I stared up at the light, finding myself climbing to my feet.

_I _am _pretty worthless,_ I thought. _I burdened everyone with my cancer. Mom, Hatori, everyone. Even Kyo-kun…_

I stood up fully, closing my eyes. _Perhaps I _should _just go—_

A hand grabbed mine. I thought it was my younger self, but when I looked down I got quite a shock.

A young Kyo was staring up at me with a blank expression. Something not unlike his usual expression that he wore as a teenager.

Suddenly, he broke out in this wide smile. It warmed my heart; I hadn't seen such a smile from him in so long.

"_Ne-chan!!_" he said cheerfully. "It's all right now! I don't hate you! No one does! Who could hate you?"

I stared down at him, tears starting to fill my eyes.

He tugged on my hand. "Let's go, _Ne-chan! _Everyone's waiting for you!"

I blinked back the tears as I nodded. "All right. Looks like I'll have to be a burden to everyone a little while longer."

Kyo nodded and looked towards my younger self. He held out his free hand to her. "Let's go!"

My younger self stared at his hand before she accepted it. She too was crying.

"Maybe I can be forgiven for hurting you," she said softly.

So, the three of us walked away, led by Kyo. I felt much better than before, and my younger self looked better. We walked together until a light enveloped us.


	14. Part 14

Part 14

My first thought when I finally awakened was a rather stupid one: _Why do I smell plastic?_

Then immediately came the more probable one: pain.

It was pretty dim for a hospital room. But the soft beeps and hums of the machines behind me were a pretty good reminder that it was a hospital. I realized I smelled plastic because I was wearing an oxygen mask. And I just felt so…heavy. I couldn't even lift my arms. And pain was radiating like crazy from my back.

Even though I was awake, I would've trade my current state for the one I had in my field of flowers. Any day.

It was then I realized I wasn't alone in the room. Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone sitting facing away from me, reading a clipboard.

Hatori.

"Hatori," I said weakly. But I could barely hear my own voice, so Hatori didn't hear it either. He didn't seem to even notice I was awake.

"Hat…" I was too weak to even finish his name. I finally got one of my arms moving and I lifted it, reaching for him. But the simple motion took away most of my strength and my arm head fell back onto my bed with a simple thump.

But it was enough to get Hatori's attention. He jerked violently in his seat and turned around. When he saw me his exhausted eyes filled with shock and joy.

"Kagura?!" he quickly rushed to my side and checked the machines. "I don't believe it!! You're awake!!"

I blinked slowly. "How…" my voice was muffled by the mask. I forced my arm up and took off the oxygen mask. "What happened?"

"After Akito…after you were attacked, you lapsed into shock and then into a coma."

"A coma?" I had to force the words out of me. Since the time inside my mind seemed short, I assumed my coma was short. "How long have I been unconscious?"

"Almost three weeks. We were almost afraid you wouldn't wake up."

I gasped. Three weeks? That short time inside my head was actually _three weeks_?!

"M-my stitches—"

"I'll explain your injuries later. For right now I need to call you mother and tell her you're awake." Then Hatori did something that shocked me. He leaned down and kissed me on the forehead! "I'm really glad you woke up…"

I felt myself getting tired after he left. The concerned relief in his voice really tore at my heart. Even more so as I recalled the words my younger self said inside my mind.

_"…Hatori was also on his way home. Couldn't you just wait a half hour until he came back and told him? Or did you think that he wouldn't care?_"

I caused him so much pain and worry. After everything he did for me.

"I'm sorry…" I whimpered, a single tear sliding down my face as I fell back asleep.  
  
---

"Kagura? Sweetie?"

"Eh?" I awakened, not realizing just how much time had passed. Seeing the love and relief on Mom's face and the fact she was still wearing a jacket told me about ten minutes had passed.

"Kagura!!" Mom hugged me tightly, bursting into tears. "I was so afraid!! I thought I had lost my little girl!!"

I winced under Mom's tight hold, but didn't voice any pains. "I'm sorry, Mom. I really am."

"Before I call everyone else here," said Hatori, pulling up two seats. "I'm sure we all have questions we want to ask. Why don't you start?"

I nodded weakly. "Isuzu—"

"She's still gone," said Hatori. "Akito hasn't found her yet. But some of the younger Juunishi seemed to have some idea where she is. Haru disappeared just two days ago and hasn't returned yet."

I sighed in relief. "I'm glad…"

"I am too. I'd hate to see her captured and have all this gone to waste."

I winced again, but not from the pain. "Momiji…is he all right?"

Hatori nodded. "One of his ribs broke during the assault. But he's healing up nicely. He was discharged last week and he's in high spirits. His father has been by a lot to see him…without his wife and Momo finding out."

I closed my eyes. "I was afraid…since he took most of my blows—"

"Bear in mind you were still recovering from surgery. Your injuries were far worse because of that."

I swallowed audibly. Now for the hard part. "My stitches—"

"Your stitches were torn badly during the assault. It took me a good long while to repair the surgery site. I had to put in new stitches that were sterile since the old ones became dirty. But it's looking better now. Bear in mind your recovery time had increased greatly though."

I nodded. "My kidney…is it—"

"It was bruised, but the damage wasn't serious. It's still healing very nicely; you don't need to get it replaced."

I sighed heavily. "That's good."

"Now my turn," said Hatori. "I must ask what the hell you were thinking that night."

I could feel tears building up, but I said nothing.

"You deliberately endangered yourself. I don't care that you trying to save someone; you were still recovering!! You went against my orders and your mother's. I may have been away at the time, but I was on my home! Couldn't you have waited until I got back? You know I would've done everything to get Isuzu out of there!!"

I looked away from Hatori so I wouldn't have to look into his pained face. "I wasn't thinking. When I saw her…so frail, so sickly…I panicked. All I could think was 'I have to get Isuzu out of there'. She had been down there so long, starving. I thought she was at death's door. I…I had to do something."

I looked back at him. "I know I was stupid. I know I caused you both more trouble, and even got Momiji hurt though he was trying to save me. But…I had the best of intentions in mind. Please believe that."

Hatori closed his eyes and sighed. Then he opened them. "Kagura, I understand. I'm sure if I saw what Isuzu looked like I would've acted the same way. But…it's going to be _very _hard for me to trust you now. Since you pulled a stunt like this during your recovery stage."

"I understand. I don't really blame you." The tears that had been building up now slid down my face. Hatori didn't trust me anymore. His trust meant a lot to me; especially after all he did for me.

"Please stop," Mom pleaded. "She just woke up! And don't you stress not to put much anxiety on patients?"

Hatori nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry for saying so much at a time like this." He stood up. "I have to go inform everyone that you've woken up. If anything happens, don't hesitate to call me."

He started for the door. But I needed to say more to him!

"Hatori!!" I called weakly. "I really am sorry! And I'll try everything I can to get your trust back!!"

Hatori stopped in the doorway. He turned around and gave me a small smile. "I'm sure you will." Then he left.

Hearing him say that made me feel much better about everything. Especially since the entire family was going to be down here tomorrow.  
  
---

Just as I predicted, the next day my hospital room was filled with Juunishi members, with the exception of Isuzu and Haru. This made me feel so much better. I knew they both were spending quality time together.

And as usual, they all seemed to be just a loud as usual. Hatori yelled at all of them to shut up while he produced a chair for Momiji to sit in.

"Hi Kagura!!" he greeted cheerfully, in his usual bubbly manner. But as he sat down I noticed the huge wince he gave. My heart ached for him.

"I'm sorry, Momiji," I said, reaching out a hand to him.

Momiji smiled. "Oh, I'm all right! It's just a little cramp!"

I motioned to him. "Come here."

He obeyed and I pulled him into a weak hug. "Thank you, Momiji. For saving my life."

Momiji laughed nervously. "Oh, I didn't do much! I just didn't want Akito hurting you."

I smiled. "Thank you."

All conversations seemed to cease during our conversation. But they picked up after I let Momiji go.

"We were all worried about you," said Tohru. "When we first saw you in the hospital it…" she trailed off, a sad look on her face. Then she brightened. "Oh, but you're awake now and that's what matters!!"

"The idiot was acting up while you were in a coma," said Yuki, looking pointedly at Kyo, who was sitting in a corner. "All he did was mope around the house looking like a lost kitten."

"Shut the hell up!!" Kyo barked, jumping to his feet. "Don't go making up shit!!"

"Oh, but Kyo you truly were depressed," said Shigure. Suddenly the area around him became sparkly, as did his eyes. "It was like watching a lovelorn boy, staring into the starlight sky, whimpering 'oh Kagura, when will you come back to—"

"**_That's it!!!!!!!_**" Kyo pounced on Shigure while in the process knocking over other members of the Juunishi.

Yuki put a hand to his face. "He's such an embarrassment."

"Kyo-kun, please calm down!!" Tohru cried at the chaos.

Hiro, having yanked Kisa out of Kyo's path, walked up to my bed. "Rin's still missing."

"I know," I answered. "I'm glad. Looks like our efforts weren't for nothing."

Hiro nodded. "Me too. But I want to know how she's doing. Haru went off to go find her, but he hasn't returned. This means he probably did find her."

I smiled. "I guess so."

Kisa hesitantly approached my side. "Are you really all right now? That time…"

"Hatori said my recovery time has doubled. But all in all I'm going to be all right."

Kisa nodded. "That's glad."

It was hard talking over the commotion Kyo was making. Finally Hatori snapped and kicked everyone out.

"Wait," I interrupted. "I want to talk to Kyo-kun."

Hatori nodded. "I'll give you ten minutes. Everyone else out!"

Everyone was herded out of the room. Once we were alone Kyo took a seat next to my bed. Before I could say anything he pulled me into a tight embrace.

"I'm really glad you're all right," he murmured into my hair. "When we got the news that night, the way they spoke sounded like you died. It…I was scared. And it didn't help with Tohru sobbing so hysterically." My throat tightened, knowing I caused Tohru to cry so much.

"I guess it was because of the commotion Tohru made that we were allowed to see you once they got you out of I.C.U. Seeing you laying there…it didn't help to calm our fears. And Tohru started crying again. It was enough to get most of us crying.

"I talked to you a lot, while you were in the coma. Hatori said comatose people can hear conversations around them, but can't respond. So I said a few embarrassing things. I kinds hoped it would get you to come back."

I closed my eyes. I didn't hear what Kyo had said to me because I was too busy talking to my inner self.

But, whatever he said must've sent that child form of his to me in my mind.

"I'm sorry," I murmured. "I'm afraid I didn't hear you clearly. But, your presence was the reason I came out of it. So thank you."

Kyo leaned back. "You…didn't hear anything I said?"

"You can say it now; I can hear now."

Kyo's face turned dark red and he looked away. "No way! It's way too embarrassing!!"

I laughed a little. "Let me guess. You were confessing your undying love for me and how you wanted to—"

I was cut off by Kyo doing a surprising thing. He leaned down and kissed me; full on the mouth. I knew he wanted to shut me up, but I also suspected that he really did want to kiss me. So I yielded; my eyes slid closed and I buried my fingers deep into the fabric of his shirt.

I could tell he'd never kissed anyone like this before. I never did, but being someone who was older I had to take some form of initiative. So I pushed my tongue into his mouth, startling us both as our kiss became more intimate. After the initial shock he returned my kiss.

A few moments later we parted and just held each other. I really did feel like a dream; having Kyo here with me, being able to be with him.

Then again, my dreams never had me with cancer, or Akito stomping on my back. But all of it seemed so much worth it with Kyo.

I laughed a little and leaned my head against his. "I think I got my answer."

"Shut up or I'll do it again," said Kyo.

I smirked at him. "Hmm, I think I'll keep talking."

As he had threatened, he kissed me again. I had no complaints of course. We just held each other, floating in a hazy abyss that we didn't want to seem to leave.

Even so, I couldn't shake off this feeling that while we were kissing, someone was watching us.


	15. Part 15

Note to JupiterLover: A Yuki/Kagura fanfic? Sounds interesting. I don't know how I'd go about writing it, though.

Part 15

If only I could say that it got much better after that. If only I could say that everything afterwards was positive.

If only indeed.

I was happy when Kyo kissed me. It made me feel so good knowing that he was coming around; fully close to returning my feelings.

So when he didn't come and see me after that, I was a little hurt. Point in fact no one really came to see me, save a random relative I never met before. I wouldn't even see Hatori; Mom told me he'd stop in whenever I was asleep. I didn't even get a phone call from anyone.

_What the hell is going on?! _I wondered one day, my chest tightened from my hurt feelings. _It's been two weeks since anyone came to see me!_ _And Hatori's avoiding me as much as possible!_

_I can understand why_, my voice of doubt reared its ugly head. _You betrayed him. You added on an extra workload to him and betrayed his trust. If I were him, I'd be upset too._

_That doesn't explain why he won't talk to me period! _I thought back. _Yes, I betrayed him, but that was over a month ago! Hatori has never been known to hold grudges against anyone other than himself!_

_That's it; he's probably holding a grudge over himself. He probably thinks it's his fault you're so stupid. So in order to avoid you altogether without actually neglecting you, he's been examining you while you sleep._

That did seem to make some sense. At least, in Hatori's case.

_But that doesn't explain why no one else has been coming to see me. No one from the Juunishi; not even Kyo! No one's even called me! _

It was hard to ask questions when there wasn't anyone around to answer them.

"It does seem a little odd," said Mom when I told her about it. "I mean until a few weeks ago, everyone was pushing to try and come and see you. Let me talk to Hatori about it and see what's going on."

That gave me high hopes. But just a day later, Mom was acting all strange. I knew she did go talk to Hatori, but she refused to say anything to me about the subject.

That made me feel scared.

I had had enough. I was sick of not seeing them!

So I did the only thing I could do; I called up Shigure's house. I waited patiently as the phone rang on the other line. _Don't sound too angry. Just ask them calmly why they haven't stopped by._

What happened next was even more bizarre.

"_I'm sorry, but the number you are trying to reach is no longer in use_," said the cold voice of the operator.

"WHAT?!" I shrieked, slamming down the phone. Shigure's line no longer existed?! Did he change his number?! What the hell was going on?!

I tried the number over and over again. And every time, I still got the operator's message.

I felt like crying. This was really scary. What happened to everyone over there? What happened to Shigure, Tohru, Yuki, and Kyo?

But I wasn't getting a straight answer from anyone. I was seeing no one but Mom and a few nurses. And if Mom knew (which I knew she did) then she wasn't saying a word. I was being left in the dark and that severely pissed me off.

There was only one thing left; try to contact Hatori. So I pretended to sleep, silently praying that he would come in.

It paid off; after lying still for almost two hours, I heard the door to my room open and close. As the person approached the bed, I felt the familiarity of them. I knew it was him.

"Still stable," said Hatori. I heard the scratch of a pen as he was probably writing on his clipboard. "Very smooth progress."

He was close, but not close enough for me to grab him. But I got my chance when he leaned over to check the machines. My eyes snapped open and I grabbed a fistful of his coat. All these weeks of hospitalization had allowed me to regain some of my strength, so my grip was firm and solid.

Needless to say, Hatori looked surprised to see me. He even dropped his clipboard!

"Kagura!" he said, staring down at me shocked.

"Hello Hatori," I greeted through clenched teeth. "How have you been? I wouldn't know since I haven't seen anyone in weeks!"

Hatori took a hold of my hand. "Let me go, Kagura."

"No! And you're not going anyone until I get some answers!!"

Hatori stared silent at me.

"Why are you avoiding me?! Why has no one come to see me at all?! And _why is the phone line cut at Shigure's house?!?!_"

Hatori's eyes widened. Well, at least eye. "You called Shigure?"

"I tried to! But the number no longer exists!"

Hatori took hold of my hand with both hands. "If you let me go, I'll try to explain it to you. But bear in mind I'm not giving you all the details."

"Why not?!"

"Because you're still in a delicate condition."

I scoffed and let go of his coat. Hatori pulled up a chair next to my bed and sat down.

"The reason I've been avoiding you," he stated. "Goes in part with feeling responsible for your injuries. Every time I see you like this reminds me that I could've done more. Not just to help you, but everyone else. I've had my fair share of tragedies in my life and I made a vow that the younger generation of Juunishi wouldn't have to go through my experiences. But here you are; experiencing more pain and suffering than I ever did in my life."

I swallowed heavily, feeling a pang of guilt for being so angry. Hatori was suffering right along with me.

But his answer didn't really satisfy me in the least. It felt like he _was _telling me the truth, but holding back at the same time.

"And the reason everyone's been avoiding you is because of Akito," continued Hatori. Obviously the other point was over with him. "He's been in such a foul mood and still is upset at you for saving Isuzu. So he's forbidden the Juunishi from seeing you or even calling you."

I felt tears well up in my eyes. Forbade them? From even coming in contact with me?!

"I'm sorry," said Hatori. "I know avoiding you like this causes you more pain. I'm going to stop coming around when you're asleep and I'll try to lean on Akito to let some visitors in. In the meantime, be positive okay?"

I nodded. "Okay."

Hatori stood up. "I have to be going now. Get some rest, okay?"

I nodded. But as he was leaving, I realized there was one thing he left out.

Shigure's house. He didn't even mention it! I doubt he forgot about it, so there was no reason to not address it!!  
  
---

The next several days dragged on for me. I was still in the hospital as Hatori insisted on keeping me under close observation.

Every time I saw Hatori, I demanded he tell me about Shigure's house. Either he would ignore me or flat-out say no. This really made me angry at him, though in my condition I couldn't really attack. Not to mention my own promise to myself that I would never say or do anything harmful to him prevented me from trying.

I continued to try and contact Shigure, but I still got the same response from the operator. I was too afraid to try the main house; Akito probably tapped into all the phone lines and would use his own power to get his way.

I didn't know if Hatori was really trying to get people to visit me, because I still didn't get any visitors except for Mom and Hatori. And while I did appreciate their company (not so much Hatori's company); I really wanted to see my friends again.

"Kyo-kun," I murmured to myself one evening. Hatori was somewhere and Mom had gone home. "When will I be able to see you again?"

The memory of our kiss was still fresh in my mind. I absently put a hand to my mouth, running my fingertips along my lips.

"I wonder when I'll be able to kiss you again," I asked the empty room before I fell asleep.  
  
---

Sometime later, I came awake from the slightest sound. I held my breath as I heard the door creak open.

_Hatori and Mom don't sneak around like that_, I thought. _Then maybe it's_…

My hopes built up as I stared at the silhouette entering my room and closing the door. It looked like a boy, with an average height.

_It's him_, I thought excitedly. _It's Kyo-kun!!_

The person flipped on the light switch. And my hopes sank to the pit of my stomach and faded.

"Good evening," greeted Akito, smiling in his strange way.

Icy fear lanced through me. My throat tightened and I started trembling. This was not a good sign.

"What's the matter?" he asked smoothly. "Aren't you glad to see me?"

I obviously wasn't, considering the last time I saw him he almost killed me.

He sauntered over to my bed. But instead of sitting down in the chair, he folded his arms on the bed rail and leaned over me.

"You don't have to be frightened," he said in mock comfort. "I'm not going to hurt you."

I hated myself for the fear that wouldn't go away. I was scared of him. His assault on me left a scar on me that know makes me so frightened whenever he's nearby.

"How are your stitches?" he asked. "Are they evened out? I'd expect them to be since Hatori put in new ones while you lay in a three-week coma."

_And whose fault is that?_ I yelled silently, but I was trembling too much to say it.

"I must say I was surprised though," he continued. "When I came to see you just a few weeks ago, I saw the most disgusting thing. I saw _Kyo_ of all people, kissing you. What's more, you were _enjoying it_."

My face turned dark red. That was Akito? The person I felt watching us kiss?

"I was very surprised, you see. I was under the impression that he loved Tohru. All I could think was 'why was that Cat kissing Kagura like that when he was suppose to love Tohru?'. Then I put two and two together. And I came up with a shocking revelation.

"Kyo was kissing you like that and not Tohru because Tohru had rejected his love. This meant that she herself had a love and that love was Yuki!!"

My eyes widened and my heart slammed against the wall of my chest. This was bad. Really, really bad.

"I don't like it when people keep things from me," he said, his eyes going dark. "Especially something like this. I was fine with Kyo being with Tohru because it would've made it so bittersweet to break them apart. But as usual things don't go my way. Tohru chose the wrong person to fall in love with because Yuki belongs to me!!!"

I whimpered softly, the fear spreading. What did he do to them?!

"I wanted straight answers. So I sent some associates to Shigure's house to get those three. I must say that Yuki and Kyo put up a good fight. Shigure even tried to help them and he almost _never_ crosses me. But they fought so Tohru could escape. Well, she was only able to run about a few hundred feet before they caught her too. So they were all brought to me and Shigure was kept under close observation at his house."

Tears were starting to spill down my cheeks.

"Once they arrived, I calmly asked them what was going on," said Akito, smiling at my tears. "I half-expected them to deny the accusations I threw at them. Yuki and Kyo looked like they would.

"But Tohru's another story. She stood straight up and declared her undying love for Yuki. She gave this long speech about how the Sohmas _saved _her; how they all gave her the love she had lost when her mother died. She also told me that she wanted to be friends with me as she was with everyone else! Can you believe that?! I don't need friends! She soon found out after I smacked her in the face.

"Then the strangest thing happened; Yuki actually raised a hand to me! Never once did he ever dare to do such a thing. Kyo also raised a hand to me, both of them protecting Tohru. Both of them declared that their lives were meaningless until they met the ones they love. That sounded strange from Kyo since he loved Tohru for so long, but apparently you _saved _him to some extent."

I sniffled a little. I was proud of Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru for standing up for their feelings. But judging from the look on Akito's face, the worse was yet to come.

"After their speeches, I realized I had a situation on my hands. These three looked so mutinous and the others would no doubt follow them. So there was only one thing I could do for them.

"I decided for Yuki that he had spent enough time on the outside and that he needed to return to replaced Kureno as my toy."

"No!!" I shrieked. I struggled in my bed, and then yelped in pain from my back.

"As for Kyo, I decided that he was too much of a danger to everyone and sent him into the traditional isolation early."

"_No!!!!!!!_" I screamed, and then yelled more from the pain in my back.

"And Tohru…well, I saved the best for last." Akito's smile was utterly sadistic. "And all it took was to threaten Hatori with you."

I froze. I stared wide-eyed at him in horror. "No…you didn't…"

"I had Hatori erased Tohru's memories of us," confirmed Akito.


	16. Part 16

Part 16

My body froze in horror at Akito's words. My jaw went slack with the wave of shock that currently had a death grip on me. I didn't know how to respond to it. All I could do was stare up at him, praying hopelessly that he was somehow lying.

"I'm so glad to see that filthy little girl gone," said Akito, smiling in his twisted way. "She was ruining the family; turning us against each other, everyone being so miserable—"

"You're a _liar!!!!!!!_" I shrieked suddenly. Gone were my fear, and my sadness. In their place was an uncontrollable rage, spilling out of me like the tears were spilling out of my eyes. "You're nothing but a FUCKING LIAR!!!!! TOHRU DIDN'T TEAR OUR FAMILY APART!!!! THE ONLY REASON _ANY _OF US ARE SO CLOSE NOW WAS BECAUSE OF HER!!!!!!! IF ANYTHING, _YOU'RE _THE ONE TEARING OUR FAMILY APART!!!!!!!"

Fury leapt into Akito's dark eyes. He started breathing heavily through clenched teeth. If my strength was at its full mark, I would've pummeled him into pulp. But all I could do was lay there, breathing just as heavily and glare at him with all the hate in my heart.

"How dare you talk to _me _that way?!" he growled, his hand balling up into a fist. "I'm head of this family!! I control all your lives!!!" he raised his fist. "And it looks like your punishment that put you in a coma wasn't enough to clean your smart-ass attitude!!"

I knew he was going to punch me, but I was too angry to care. I just glared unblinkingly at him through my tears, not bothering to flinch as he brought his fist down towards my head.

But another hand caught his wrist just inches before his fist could connect with my head. Akito turned, infuriated with whoever dared to stop him, but all protests died before they came out. I wiped away my tears and saw who it was.

Hatori stood behind Akito, gripping his wrist very tightly. He had a look of suppressed rage on his face.

"I thought I told you to stay away from Kagura," snapped Hatori. "That _was _part of the deal, wasn't it?"

Akito yanked his wrist out of Hatori's grip, but the rage had faded.

"Of course," he said calmly. "I don't know what came over me." he glanced towards me. "Good luck with your recovery, Kagura."

With that said he swept out of the room. Hatori took a seat next to my bed. "Are you all right?"

Try as I might, I couldn't force myself to say 'yes'. All I could do was stare at Hatori, feeling completely betrayed. "Did you really do it? Let Yun-kun be forced back into Akito's hands? Let Kyo-kun be put into his isolation? And…" I trailed off. I couldn't bear to mention Tohru.

Hatori let out a shaky sigh. "The confrontation was a terrible one, Kagura. When I got there both Akito and Tohru had bruised faces. I've seen worse bruises on Akito when he tried to beat up Isuzu, but the fury on his face…it was truly frightening.

"His first order was to lock Yuki into isolation and kill Tohru and Kyo. I'm serious; he was really going to kill them. I tried to reason with him, but without Shigure my pleas didn't have much merit. He even pulled a sword out from somewhere! Everything was just chaotic; Momiji and Kisa were shielding Tohru, crying and begging Akito to stop. Ayame threatened vengeance if Akito followed through with it. Everyone was just shouting and I was trying to prevent Akito from hacking Tohru and Kyo into pieces." he unbuttoned his shirt and showed a bandage that was on his chest. "It's just a flesh wound, but he was angry enough to cut me.

"He finally did calm down, but his vindictiveness wasn't gone. He decided that killing them wouldn't be fun; he would rather torture them. First he had Kyo dragged away to the house where the Cat is traditionally locked up. Then he ordered me to erase Tohru's memories with Yuki still there.

"I outright refused of course, evening giving the excuse that my wound effected my concentration. That's when Akito brought you up. He threatened to sabotage your recovery; do severe damage to your remaining kidney. Not only that, he threatened to banish you from the family entirely; meaning I wouldn't be able to help you anymore because I strictly serve the Sohma family. And since I know every aspect of your condition, another doctor might mess up if anything were to happen to you.

"Then Tohru stood up. After speaking with everyone she willingly offered herself up. And I…" Hatori trailed off and looked away.

I closed my eyes, feeling tremors all through me. "That explains everything. That explains why no one will come to see me and why you've been avoiding me. This is all my fault."

"No Kagura—"

"If I hadn't kissed Kyo-kun here, then Akito wouldn't have seen us. And if I didn't have cancer, then his threats wouldn't have had any merit!!" Tears were cascading down my face. "And if I didn't have cancer, then everything would've remained the same!!!!" I started sobbing hysterically, shielding my eyes with my hands.

"Kagura—"

"It's all fault!! Oh God!!!" My wails echoed off the walls. "Kyo-kun!!! Yun-kun!!! _Tohru!!!_"

"Kagura…" Hatori trailed off. Then I felt him move in closer and pull me into a loose, but comforting embrace. "It's not your fault. You're just a victim here. No one holds you at fault. Please don't do this to yourself."

My sobs overcame me and I could no longer speak. All I could do was sob loudly into Hatori's shoulder and tremble so violently that it shook us both.

* * *

I seemed to lose all aspects of time during my hospital stay. I just seemed to shut off. I couldn't respond to Mom's comforting words or Hatori's statements. All I did was stare at the ceiling, thinking about my three friends who now seemed more far away than ever.

_Just a month or so ago we all went on that date to that candy shop,_ I thought to myself. _Why couldn't time just stop for us then? Is it so impossible for all of us to be together? Why? We're all human beings; no one has the right to do this to us!!_

_Akito has the right_, came my response. _He's the head of the family and his word is law. And even if you were to oppose him, there are _many _other Sohmas who worship him and would gladly do as he asked. Don't you see? He won! He did the only thing he could think of to pull you all apart and he succeeded. You can't overrule when the Cat is isolated. And even if Yun-kun were to escape from Akito, Tohru's memories of us are gone so she wouldn't remember their love. She wouldn't even remember _him_!! It's so much like Hatori and Kana—_

_Shut up!! _I yelled back, covering my ears. _I already know all this!! Akito's ruined our lives and he'll do it again in a heartbeat!!_

Because I stopped paying attention to everything, I was a little surprised one day to see Mom packing up.

"What's going on?" I asked.

Mom looked up, surprised. "Oh, you're getting discharged today. Hatori told you yesterday."

"Oh." It was time for me to go home. Surrounded by Juunishi who no doubt blamed me for everything that happened. Forced to face Akito with his evil satisfied smirks.

I wished I was still in my coma.

"Hatori brought his car," said Mom. "Since your back is healing nicely he said we don't have to take special caution with you. So we'll be riding in his car."

I said nothing. I knew Mom was trying to keep me cheerful, but it really wasn't working. I doubted I would ever be cheerful again.

* * *

The ride home was in silence. Hatori and Mom didn't even try to make conversation with me, and I didn't try to speak. I just wanted to disappear, but I couldn't. I needed to be close by to Hatori so he could help me if something went wrong. Not that I cared if anything went wrong anymore.

Finally, we arrived at the Sohma House. Much to my own disdain Akito was there to greet us. Once we were inside the compound however, I realized he wasn't alone. Kureno was waiting with him.

As was Yuki.

I stared at Yuki for a brief moment. He was avoiding looking at me. Once again guilt knifed through me, knowing I was the cause of this.

"Ah Kagura," said Akito pleasantly. "Is—"

I walked away from him, not even bothering to pretend to be pleased to see him. I wanted to hurt him; cause him so much pain so he would realize just what I was going through.

I walked straight into my house and to my bedroom. I slammed my door shut and fell face-first onto my bed. It had been so long since I had been home; but I didn't have the welcome feeling I did the last time I was discharged. All I felt was this painful guilt that threatened to consume me.

"Yun-kun, Tohru…Kyo-kun," I murmured into my pillow. "Why did things have to turn out this way?"

* * *

The pain still held tight within me as the days passed. The days were getting colder and I could tell snow would fall soon. Generally that made me happy, but I couldn't feel happy this time.

Mom tried to be as cheerful as possible; each night she cooked my favorite meals and she bought me gifts. While it did help to raise my spirits, it sure didn't dispel the guilt. A guilt that grew as I saw no visits from my fellow Juunishi. Despite Hatori's denials, I could tell they blamed me for what happened to Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru. And rightfully so.

But, I wanted to see them all so badly. Akito was keeping Yuki so close to him I never even saw him outside. And I didn't even know where Tohru's relatives lived. Hatori probably had to modify their memories too to avoid "problems". Like Tohru regaining her memories.

That left Kyo. But everyone was forbidden to interact with the Cat once he entered isolation. I doubt the Juunishi kept to this rule, but I still missed him. I really wanted to see him, but I knew no one would let me. And Akito would probably freak if I did see him.

Then again, that would make all the more seeing him bittersweet. I could finally see Kyo, and that would be a big 'fuck you' to Akito.

I had to wait, though. Hatori sprung random visits on me and Mom was home a lot, save going shopping. I had to wait and make sure to go see him on a day when Mom was out and Hatori couldn't stop by. After a week, that day finally came.

I made sure to bundle up tightly. I didn't know how long I would be outside, so I had to make sure my stitches wouldn't be hurt by the chill. Finally, I set out. I had yet to snow, but it was so bitterly cold that it seemed like it could snow any minute. I tried to sneak, but I knew if someone looked they would be able to find me. With my three coats, two sweaters, gloves, hat and scarf I definitely stood out on the bleak day.

I tried not to hurry to the isolation house, but the thrill of being able to see Kyo was almost too much. When I finally did make it to the house I was surprised at how quickly I got there. It made me worry a little, but I shook it off as I examined it for a door. Other than the barred windows, I couldn't find one.

"How the hell do they get people in here?" I muttered.

"Who's there?!" yelled a familiar voice from inside the house. Joy erupted in me and I ran to the nearest window.

"Kyo-kun!" I hissed.

"Eh?!" came the surprised reply. Seconds later I saw Kyo's face at the window. He looked thinner and paler since the last time I saw him. "Kagura?"

Tears stung my eyes, but I held them in. "Long time no see!"

Kyo looked around out the window, as if to make sure no one else was around. "You're out of the hospital? No one's told me anything!"

"I got discharged a while ago, but this has been the only time I could sneak out and check up on you."

Kyo sighed heavily, which didn't sit well with me.

"Well, get back home and into bed. If they see you—"

"I don't care if Akito sees me here!! He can't do any worse than he's already done!!"

Kyo reached through the bars and grabbed my hands. "Kagura, I really appreciate this. But you can't come here again. Akito's not going to relent. This damned prison is my home for the rest of my life. And if you continue to cross him, he might actually succeed in killing you!"

"Kyo-kun—"

"If you really love me, then you won't come back here. I'm not saying this because I don't want to see you; hell knows I do! But I don't want to see you hurt anymore. And I don't want you to see me like this. Please, just go." He shoved away my hands and started to turn away.

Without thinking I yanked off my scarf and pushed it through the bars. "Take this!! It's getting colder and you'll need to keep warm!!"

Kyo turned around and looked at me. Pain was all too clear in his eyes, but he forced a smile and took the scarf. I took the chance to grab his hands again. I pulled them back through the bars and kissed his knuckles.

"I love you so much!!" I cried, my suppressed tears falling. "I really do!!"

"I know," he said, squeezing my hands. "I love you too. I'm just sorry this is the only time I can say it."

I sniffled and let go. After one final glance at him I took off running back to my house.

_He said it. He finally said it. But why didn't it make me happy?_

I pushed myself into my house, choking on my tears. I was still crying as I pulled off my jackets, hat, gloves and boots. I was pulling off my sweaters as I ventured through my house but only got one partially off before I fell to my knees. I sobbed into my hands, my body shaking all over. I finally managed to see Kyo. And Kyo told me he loved me. But it didn't make a bit of difference because we could never be together again.

"Quite an entrance. I take it things haven't been going too smoothly around here?"

My head quickly shot up, noticing for the first time I wasn't alone in the room. I stared at the person sitting at the table sipping tea. For the first time in what seemed like forever joy exploded in my heart, overcoming the pain and the guilt.

"I'm home," greeted Isuzu, raising her teacup to me.


	17. Part 17

Part 17

I stared in shock at Isuzu, who was calmly sitting at the table sipping tea. My joy grew and grew until it exploded and I lunged at her, throwing my arms tightly around her.

"I can't believe it!!" I cried. "I didn't think I would see you again!!"

"Yeah, I didn't think I'd see me again, either," said Isuzu. "I had no idea where I was going when I hopped on the train. When I ran out of money I found myself in Akita."

I gaped at her. "Isuzu, I only had a few yen in that pocket! How did you get yourself on the other side of the continent?!"

"Quite frankly I have no idea. But I managed to find a decent job and a decent apartment. I settled into a regular routine, avoiding guys with surprising ease. Of course after some time Haru showed up on my doorstep. To this day I have no idea how he was able to track me when Akito didn't even know where I was!!

"He's still young and in high school, but he decided he wanted to stay with me as much as he could. So he got himself a job too and we pretty much lived like newlyweds.

"But…we could both sense something was wrong. Haru more than me, though. He could feel something was wrong with Yuki in particular. He was really serious about the whole thing, so…we came back. Haru came back naturally and I managed to sneak inside the compound." Isuzu snorted. "I never thought I would ever try to sneak back _into _this place. So…what's going on? Were we right, or was it paranoia?"

The reminder of the current situation easily wiped away the glow of having Isuzu back. The emotions overwhelmed me once again and I found myself sobbing all over again.

"Kagura?" asked Isuzu, looking very worried. "Is it…really bad?"

"It's horrible!!" I cried, burying my face into her shoulder. "I don't know what to do anymore!!"

"Shh, calm down. Tell me everything from the beginning."

"I…I…when you escaped Akito attacked me and I lapsed into a three week coma! When I woke up everyone was upset with me, but glad I was able to rescue you. And…oh God, Momiji had tried to save me and Akito broke one of his ribs! I'm sure he's healed up by now, but who knows the psychological damage he's suffered!"

Isuzu's face was a mask of rage, but she said nothing.

"And then Kyo-kun came to see me and we…kissed. But Akito saw us and assaulted him, Yun-chan, and Tohru! They didn't put up with it and fought back! And that sent Akito over the edge. He…he…"

"What, Kagura? What did he do?"

"He forced Hatori to erase Tohru's memories! He had Kyo-kun put into isolation early! And he forced Yun-chan to be with him at all times! And it's all my fault!!"

Isuzu remained silent as I sobbed into her shoulder. When I had finally stopped, she stood up.

"I'm going to go murder him," she seethed, heading for the door.

"Isuzu, no!!" I grabbed her wrist. "He'll kill you if he sees you!!"

"I don't care!! He's gotten away with a lot of shit, but he's not going to get away with this!!"

"Are you going to let my sacrifice be in vain?! Isuzu, Hatori had to put fresh stitches into my back!! My recovery period has stretched to two years! All this pain…if you're hurt, I won't be able to take it!! Please just stop!!"

Isuzu was silent for several minutes. Then she let out a loud sigh. "All right, Kagura. I'll stay put and leave him alone."

I let go of her hand. "Thank you."

Isuzu sat back down. "So…how are we going to remedy this situation?"

I gave her a surprised look. "What?"

"How are we going to help Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru?"

"I don't even know if we can! No one in the Juunishi has talked to me!! And Akito isn't about to let Yun-chan and Kyo-kun go!! And even if he does, Tohru doesn't have any memories!!"

"That's not a reason to not try. Look, sitting here giving up isn't going to help anyone. They need us! Well, Tohru might not at the moment, but Yuki and Kyo need us! We have to take action, even if it's by ourselves."

"I doubt Hatori would approve of this."

"Fuck Hatori!!"

"Isuzu!!"

"No, fuck Hatori!! I never liked Tohru much, but I'm not exactly gonna forgive him for that!!"

"Isuzu, the only reason he did it was because Akito threatened him with me!!"

Isuzu quieted for a moment then said, "That's a lame excuse! Hatori had enough power to stop Akito! It's just that he was too cowardly to make a difference is why things are the way they are now!!"

I swallowed a lump in my throat. "All right. Say I was to agree with you on this. What exactly do you have in mind to bring Tohru, Yun-chan, and Kyo-kun back in one piece without _any _of us getting killed?"

Isuzu scoffed. "Kyo-kun can get out on his own. All he has to do is yank off his bracelet and he's good to go."

I sweatdropped. "Don't you think Akito might've taken measures to prevent that?"

"I doubt it. If Yuki's back in his possession, then he'd be too thrilled to pay attention to anything. What matters is timing."

"Um, okay. And Yun-chan?"

"That's going to be a little more difficult. If Akito's keeping Yuki close by like he did with Kureno, then it'll be almost impossible to get him loose. Like before, that one requires great timing."

"So you don't have a set plan for him yet?"

"…No."

"And Tohru?"

Isuzu thought about it for several minutes before an evil smirk broke out across her face. I felt a feeling of foreboding wash over me.

"I got it," she said. "But it'll require some assistance. Tell me, is school still in session or is it a break?"

"No, school's in session. The weekend's almost up."

"All right. I'll need some help from some of Tohru's closest acquaintances in order for this to work."

"In order for what to work?" I asked, but I didn't get an answer.

"I'm home!" came Mom's voice. She walked into the room and did a double take when she saw Isuzu. "Oh my!! Isuzu!!!"

Isuzu jumped up and clamped a hand over her mouth. "Shh!! I'm not here!!"

* * *

I had no idea what exactly Isuzu had planned for Tohru. Any questions I asked got incomplete answers. I was a little nervous at what she had in mind, since she had a difficult time getting along with Tohru. I just hoped it wasn't too bad.

I was still amazed at how she remained out of Akito radarscope when she was on the family's compound.

One morning I had gotten my answer. I had been moping about Kyo, considering he was so close, yet he forbade me from seeing him. A little sigh here and a little sob there worked for almost no sleep at night.

At 6:15 a.m., with only three hours of sleep under my belt, Isuzu came to get me up.

"Get up," she greeted. "We have a busy schedule today."

I pulled the covers over my head. "Can't you show a little compassion for a cancer patient?"

"You're getting your strength back everyday. Besides, a little activity will do you good."

I poked my head out from underneath my covers. "You mean…you're doing whatever it is you're today about Tohru?"

"Yeah. But I need some assistance to get some recruits. So get up!"

Ten minutes later I was downstairs eating breakfast with a satisfied Isuzu and a worried Mom.

"Kagura, you didn't have to get up so early," she said. "You can go back to sleep."

"Don't worry about it," Isuzu answered for me. "We had something planned for today and she begged me to get her up extra early."

Mom blinked several times. "For the whole day? Is that really such a good idea?"

"Of course. I consulted Hatori about it and he agrees that Kagura needs the fresh air."

"Oh. Nevertheless, you better take care of yourself, Kagura."

"I will, Mom," I said, smiling. "I won't do anything too reckless."

A while later we were out the door. It was still fairly early for anyone to be up. But Isuzu kept a hood in front of her face so no one would recognize her.

"Did you really get Hatori's approval?" I asked suspiciously.

"Hell no. That guy can kiss my ass."

"Isuzu—"

"Don't worry! You won't do any of the dirty work, but I do need your assistance."

I didn't know what she was talking about, and I was further confused when I realized we were heading towards Hatori's house. "Um, Isuzu? If Hatori can kiss your ass, then why are we going to see him?"

"We aren't seeing him, Kagura. There's someone else."

As if on cue, we heard an overly cheerful, "I'm going now!"

Isuzu hid and directed me to do so as Momiji left Hatori's house. Despite the cheerful smile on his face, I couldn't help but feel for him. Who knew how hurt he really was, all because he tried to save me…

Isuzu acted quickly. As Momiji passed us, oblivious to our presence, Isuzu reached out and grabbed him. He nearly screamed, but she clamped a hand over his mouth. "Don't scream. It's only us."

Momiji stopped struggling and look at us. His face returned to its usual cheer. "Kagura!! And you're here too, Rin!! I thought you were disappeared!"

"I was, but I have a bit of business to take care of," said Isuzu, releasing him. "It involves Tohru. Will you help us?"

Momiji smiled broadly. "If it's Tohru, I'll help in any way." Then his smile faded. "But…weren't her memories erased?"

"Yeah, but we're hoping to remedy that. You in?"

Momiji looked sad for a moment longer before his cheerfulness came back. "Of course! Let's save Tohru!"

"Hang on, there's still one more person to pick up."

"Oh wait, Haru's waiting for me!"

"No, I already told him the plan."

"How did you?!" I interrupted. "I don't remember you leaving my house!!"

It took us awhile, but we managed to sneak off the complex without being detected. Just as we closed the gates, I spotted Kisa and Hiro a little ways away walking to school.

"Wait here," said Isuzu, jogging over to them. I thought for sure she was going to nab Hiro, considering how close she was to him. But what she did surprised me.

"Sorry," she said, taking hold of Kisa's hand. "But you're sick today and can't go in."

"Rin?!" cried Hiro. "You're back?!"

"Rin-san, I'm feeling all right," Kisa said in her quiet voice.

Isuzu tugged on her hand. "No, you have a dangerously high fever and can't go in. I'm sorry Hiro, but we have to go now." Isuzu led Kisa back to us. "Let's go."

We left a very confused Hiro behind, though I myself was very confused. We walked for a while until we came across a large black van.

"Hop in," said Isuzu, climbing into the driver's seat.

"How'd you get this?" I asked, climbing into the passenger seat. I noted the two piles of clothes in the back, along with a broken leash.

"I hotwired it, how else? Momiji, Kisa, get in the back. Change into the clothes that are back there."

"Isuzu, what's going on?" I demanded as Momiji and Kisa climbed in.

"I though it was obvious, Kagura. We're kidnapping Tohru."

My jaw dropped. "_Kidnapping_ her?!"

"Yeah. It's not like we can go knock on her door and politely ask for her. To her we're strangers now!! So we might as well kidnap her!!"

"I don't think Tohru would like it," said Momiji as he pulled on the sweater and sweat pants over his school uniform. "It's not exactly the right approach."

"Hey, you're the one who said you'd do anything to help Tohru. Well right now she needs to be kidnapped and smacked around until—"

"Isuzu!!" I snapped.

"All right, all right."

Kisa pulled on the long sleeved frilly shirt and long skirt over her uniform. "If we kidnap her…will _Nee-chan_ get her memories back?"

"I don't know," said Isuzu, touching the pulled out wires to start the car. "But it's worth a shot."

* * *

"What'd you tell them to do?" I asked worriedly. We were on the corner near Tohru's relatives' house. Momiji and Kisa were down the street with the broken leash. I was leaning against the parked van.

"I told them to act like their puppy was missing and to ask for Tohru to help them."

"Um, it's almost time for school. Do you really think she'd fall for it?"

Isuzu gave me a look. "Kagura, this is _Tohru _we're talking about. Of course she will."

I glanced out of the corner of my eye. "Heads up, she's coming."

"Okay. Alert me when it's time." Isuzu whistled loudly before climbing into the van and closing the door. It was the cue for Kisa and Momiji to fall into their routine.

I tried to act as casually as I could as I could see Tohru approaching me. It was so difficult to just stand there and not run over to her. _She doesn't have her memories, keep it under control…_

But when she was close enough, I felt a pain in my chest. She looked like she normally did; like nothing was wrong. It was hard for me to understand how _normal _she could be acting.

Before I could stop myself I said, "Good morning."

Tohru paused in her walk and looked at me. I thought for a brief moment she would remember. But she answered with a smiled and a polite, "Good morning," before continuing on. It was strange to know I was a stranger to her.

Kisa's wail reached us before Tohru pass the street. She stopped and looked down the road at Momiji and Kisa. Kisa was kneeling on the ground, her hands to her face, and Momiji was trying to comfort her.

"There, there," he soothed. "We'll find him. Don't worry."

"_Onii-chan_, he's not wearing his collar!! And without a leash he'll be picked up!!"

Tohru stared at the two for a while. I thought briefly that she would walk away. To my immense relief she turned and walked down the road towards them.

"Excuse me," she said politely. "Why are you crying?"

I thought at that point our plan would backfire. The expressions on Momiji and Kisa's faces when they saw Tohru were so heartbreaking. I felt tears come to my eyes when Kisa started crying for real.

"W-We were walking our dog before school," stuttered Kisa. "But the leash broke and he ran!!"

"Oh my!"

"We don't know where he went," said Momiji. He was twitching slightly and I knew he was fighting off the urge to throw his arms around her.

Tohru pulled out a handkerchief and dabbed at Kisa's eyes. "It's all right. If you want, I'll help you look for your dog."

_YES!!!_ I almost screamed.

Kisa's eyes brightened. "You really will, _Nee-chan_?"

I choked a little when I heard Kisa's endearment for Tohru. But Tohru just smiled and nodded.

Momiji jumped up. "Yay! Let's hurry so we won't miss school!!"

"Which way did he run?" asked Tohru, taking Kisa and Momiji's hands.

"He ran down this way from there," said Momiji, pointing in the opposite direction. "So we think he went there." He pointed towards me.

"All right," said Tohru. "I value high school, but I'm sure my mom will forgive me if I'm a little late for helping you guys."

I tensed up as they started walking towards me. Tohru was completely unaware of what was about to happen. Isuzu was right; she was a little clueless at times.

"What's your dog's name?" asked Tohru.

"Oh, um, uh, Banjo," said Momiji.

Tohru laughed. "Wow, that's a unique name!! Do you know what kind of dog he was?"

"Golden retriever," said Kisa.

_Wow, we didn't tell them to say that!! They're being really creative!!_

When they were ten feet away, I knew it was time. "Isuzu, now!!"

The van door came quickly open and Isuzu literally launched herself out of it. Al three of them looked shocked to see her. Tohru tried to shove Momiji and Kisa behind her as if to protect her. But Momiji smiled sadly and pushed Tohru at Isuzu. Before Tohru could fight back, Isuzu had her in a tight hold and hit her in the head. Tohru slumped against her, unconscious.

"Hey, you never said you were gonna hit her!!" cried Momiji as Isuzu lifted Tohru over her shoulder.

"We got her and that's what matters," said Isuzu. "Now hurry up into the van before someone sees us."

I took this time to climb into the front seat. Momiji and Kisa climbed into the back through the widely open door. Isuzu tossed Tohru in after them none-too-gently. She climbed into the front seat.

"That was a little excessive, knocking her unconscious and throwing her in here," I said, glowering a little.

"All right, I'm sorry," said Isuzu, starting up the car. "What's important is that we got her."


	18. Part 18

Part 18

I started to get confused as Isuzu continued driving. "Um, Isuzu? This isn't the way to the family compound."

"We aren't going to the family compound," said Isuzu, making a turn. "Akito would kill Tohru if he saw her."

"Then where are we going?" asked Momiji, eying the unconscious Tohru with a worried expression.

"Haru told me that the security at Shigure's house has left. So we'll be going there."

I gaped at Isuzu. "He won't agree with that!!"

"Well, it's four on one. He won't have much choice, will he?"

Kisa had Tohru's head in her lap. "Rin-san, I think you hit Tohru too hard. She hasn't woken up yet."

"It's all about timing, Kisa. It's better that she remains asleep now."

I felt very nervous as she made another turn on the dirt road towards Shigure's house. I know that Haru wouldn't put us in danger deliberately, but I couldn't help but think that any minute men in black suits are going to pop up and demand to know why we were there. The further we got it looked as barren as Isuzu had said it would be, but I was still nervous.

She stopped the van right in front of the front, just as Hatori had done so months ago. Of course, our sudden arrival didn't go unnoticed. No sooner did Isuzu stop the car, the front door came open and Shigure came out. The cheerfulness he had usually carried around himself had disappeared quite a bit. I could tell he greatly missed Tohru, Yuki, and Kyo's company.

"What the—Rin?!" he gasped as she calmly climbed out of the driver side. I tried to remain calm too as I climbed out of the passenger side. "Kagura?! What's going on?!"

"Be quiet if you know what's good for you," said Isuzu, opening the back door. "Momiji, go get the album. Kisa, you take her legs and I'll take her upper half. Kagura, lead the way."

I knew that meant 'distract Shigure for the moment'. I put on a sweet smile as Momiji skipped past me and into the house. Shigure was still in a state of shock that he said nothing to Momiji.

"Hi Shigure!" I greeted sweetly. "Long time no see!!"

"Um, Kagura? What exactly is goi—_Tohru?!_"

I turned my head. Isuzu and Kisa had removed Tohru's unconscious body from the van and were carrying her towards the house.

"She really is out!!" I said worriedly. "Isuzu, try holding back next time!!"

Shigure ran in front of the front door. "Hang on!! I know what you're all up too and I can't let you do it!! If Akito—"

Isuzu glared at him. "I'm quite aware that you're Akito's stooge, though you put up an impressive fight the night they took the trio away. Or did you let them waltz in?"

"I did not!! I had no idea what Akito was doing!!"

"All right then. We want to help out the trio, and I'm sure you want to help them out to. Now stand aside."

"Rin, even though security left here Akito might still have my house monitored. I don't want to put you kids at risk. Please, just take—"

Isuzu raised Tohru in her arms. "Duck, Kisa."

Kisa did so. Isuzu threw Tohru's unconscious body at Shigure. Like a gentleman Shigure caught her.

POOF!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tohru remained unconscious, but where Shigure stood now was the Dog.

"Sorry we had to do that," said Isuzu, picking Tohru back up. Kisa took her end. "You'll understand someday. But bear in mind if you call Akito I'll castrate you."

Any protests Shigure had he immediately silenced. I gave Shigure a comforting pat as I followed Isuzu and Kisa into the house.

"Momiji, have you found it?" yelled Isuzu.

"Give me a sec!!" Momiji yelled back.

Tohru stirred in Isuzu's arms. They took this as a note to pick up the pace up the stairs. I followed them, feeling a little excited. Isuzu obviously knew what she was doing. Hopefully Tohru would be able to regain her memories with this encounter.

"There," said Isuzu, depositing her on the bed that Shigure had bought specially for her. I was pleased to see that he had kept Tohru's room intact. "Now we wait for her to wake up."

We didn't have to wait long. Five minutes later her eyes came open. She rubbed her sore head and groaned. But she became more aware of her surroundings she became fully awake. She sat up quickly and looked at us with terrified eyes.

"Where am I?" she demanded. "Who are you people?!"

"My oh my, Tohru," said Isuzu, smirking at her evilly. "Is that any way to talk to your family?"

Tohru blinked several times. "Family?"

Kisa sat on the edge of the bed. "I'm glad to see you again, _Nee-chan_."

Tohru stared at her. "Family…but I don't know any of you!"

"But you do," I said sadly. "You were part of our family. But your memories were erased."

Tohru shook her head. "I-I-I-I-I-I—"

"I have to hand it to Hatori," said Isuzu. "Managing to erase so much but keeping intact your stupid personality."

"I'm not stupid!" said Tohru indignantly. "And it doesn't feel like I've lost my memories!!"

It was then that Momiji rushed into the room, waving a photo album. "I found it!!"

"Momiji, will you demonstrate?" asked Isuzu.

She didn't need to ask. The sad joy that had spread across Momiji's face caused him to act. He tossed aside the photo album which I caught and launched himself at Tohru.

"Toooooooorhuuuuuuu!!!!" he cried happily, something he had probably been holding in. He threw his arms around her.

POOF!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tohru screamed. She literally screamed as pink smoke filled the room. When it cleared an adorable bunny was clinging to her.

She screamed again.

"What—wasn't—how—what—why—I—what—"

"You found out about our family in a similar fashion," said Isuzu. "I think it was when you hugged Shigure…or was it Kyo? Kagura, who was it?"

"Kyo-kun," I confirmed.

Tohru looked completely confused.

"We Sohmas have a curse," continued Isuzu, speaking to Tohru as if she was five years old. "Some of us are cursed to transform into the animals of the Juunishi when they are hugged by someone of the opposite sex, or if we're under emotional and/or physical stress. Momiji there turns into the Rabbit. Kisa." She patted Kisa on the head. "Turns into the Tiger. Kagura." She pointed to me. "Turns into the Boar. I turn into a Horse. And—"

"Rin!!" yelled Shigure as he ran into the room. He froze when he saw a very awake Tohru.

"And Shigure there turns into the Dog."

Tohru looked at all of us as if we were crazy.

"When you found out about the secret, you were allowed to live with Shigure. It was strange that Akito, the bastard who runs our family, gave exception to you since anyone who finds out about it gets their memories erased. But you were allowed to stay with the Sohmas. Unfortunately…things happened and your memories were then erased."

Tohru rubbed her head. "I…I don't know what to believe. I feel fine, really. But all of you are insisting that a piece of my life is missing from my memory. Aren't those with missing memories emotionally depressed without knowing why? I honestly feel fine!"

Isuzu looked at me. I nodded my understanding and handed Tohru the photo album.

"I think this will prove our case," I said.

Tohru looked at the cover of the album and shook her head. "I'm sorry, but—"

"_Nee-chan_, please look at it!" said Kisa, tears forming in her eyes.

"Please, Tohru," said Momiji, still in his Rabbit form. Tears were already falling from his eyes. "We're telling the truth!"

"You're part of our family, Tohru," I said softly. "We cared enough to go looking for you. Just please…look through it."

Tohru stared at me, then at Kisa, then at Momiji. She slowly nodded. "All right. I'll look through it."

For what seemed like hours we sat with her, telling the stories of each photo.

"This was when we went to the hot springs!!" Momiji said excitedly. "See the ribbon in your hair? Yuki gave that to you for a White Day present!!"

Tohru stared at the photo. "That ribbon…where have I seen it?"

This continued all day. But we felt we were making progress with each photograph. She seemed to take great interest in Yuki and Kyo. Much to my fear she seemed to show more interest in Kyo.

"You two went out for a while," I said, pointing to a photo of Yuki.

Tohru glanced at me. "Really?"

"Yes. You were both rather shy about your relationship, but you were really happy."

"Oh." She continued flipping through the photos.

Finally, she reached the end of the album. She closed it with a shaky sigh.

"This is very strange," she said softly. "I…I really don't know what to say."

My heart sank. "Nothing?"

"No. Usually photos would trigger memories. But…nothing. Not even a hint of it."

I glanced at Isuzu, who was speechless.

"But these photos show we were telling the truth!" she said. "Don't you believe us?"

Tears were forming in Tohru's eyes. "I don't know. I look so happy in these photos. Why can't I…please, someone take me home."

"_Nee-chan_," said Kisa, getting teary-eyed too.

Shigure clapped his hands. "Enough! Haa-san going to take her home!"

Ice formed in my veins. No, Hatori was going to catch us!!

"You called him, asshole?!" yelled Isuzu.

"No, he called me. Apparently he's upset that you took Kagura with false permission. Not to mention you yanked Momiji and Kisa out of school to get Tohru."

I felt a lump in my throat. I had promised Hatori I wouldn't do anything reckless and I broke it…

Isuzu grabbed my wrist. "We're leaving _now_!!"

"There's only one way out of here!!" I said numbly. "We're going to run into him on the way here!!"

"You guys go," said Momiji. "I'll take responsibility for this."

"Me too," said Kisa.

Isuzu pulled me up. "Okay, let's go."

I broke away from her and turned to Tohru. Before I could stop myself I was hugging her tightly.

"I'm so glad to have seen you again," I sniffled, tears spilling down my face. "I just wish Yun-chan could've seen you."

Isuzu pulled me away. "Okay, let's go!!"

* * *

We did manage to escape without running into Hatori. But that didn't stop him from guessing that we were there. So when he got back with Momiji and Kisa, he gave us quite a lecture.

"Neither of you ever learn, do you?!" he fumed. "Going out without permission?! Kidnapping Tohru?! Blackmailing Shigure to make him keep you there?!"

"I didn't blackmail him," said Isuzu. "I just threatened to castrate him."

"Do either of you know how dangerous and stupid your stunt was today?! What if you had been caught?! Not just by Akito's men, but the real police?! What would you have done then?!"

"Why don't you shut the hell up?!" snapped Isuzu. "It's your fault that any of this happened anyway!!"

_That _shut Hatori up. He closed his eyes and sighed sadly. Then he opened them and stared at Isuzu.

"I'm at my ropes end," he said sadly. "From now on don't expect any support from me, Isuzu."

I gasped. Isuzu just shrugged and stood up.

"Fine," she said evenly. "It's not like you ever offered me any _real _support anyways!! I'm fine with you remaining Akito's stooge right along with Shigure." She started to leave the room. "I'm gonna go stay with Haru for a while."

"Isuzu!!" I said, starting to stand.

"And don't lay the guilt trip on Kagura," Isuzu added. "I lied to her about getting your permission."

Before either of us could respond, Isuzu was gone.

"Hatori, are you really going to stop standing up for her?" I asked.

"I've tried, Kagura. I've had to put up with a lot from her. It's just..."

I swallowed. "She was lying. True, she did lie to me about getting your permission, but she told me right away it was a lie. Instead of backing down I went along with her. And the only reason she did it was because I told her what happened. So in a sense this is all my fault!!"

Hatori was silent. I lowered my head.

"I know that I broke my promise again. I know that there's no way you can trust me. But I love Kyo-kun, Yun-chan, and Tohru!! I want things to be back to normal again!!"

Hatori sighed heavily. "Kagura, I know how you feel. Do you think any of this has been easy on me? I have to wake up every morning and face what I did. And…I don't want anything more to happen. As far as I know, Akito doesn't know about what happened today. But it's getting very hard to take care of you and everyone else if you keep pulling stunts like this."

"I know, but I want them back!!" I wailed. "I want Tohru to remember everything!! I want Yun-chan to be out of Akito's reach and be happy!! I want to Kyo-kun back and out of isolation!! I miss him and I love him and I want him back with me!!! Is that too much to ask for?!"

Hatori didn't answer me at first. After a while he reached out a put a hand on my head.

"I know that these times are very difficult. If I could do it all over again, I'd do it differently. I'm sorry that all this happened to you. First the cancer and now the division and loss of family. I'm so sorry…"

I couldn't provide a coherent answer for him. All I could sit there and cry and be depressed.

* * *

The glow of seeing Tohru again died as the days passed. To stay on Hatori's good side, I barely ventured outside my house. But as the days passed they grew colder too. I was pleased to finally see some snowfall.

On the night of the first snow, I was so excited I went outside to walk around in it. I wore thick layers to protect my stitches, but I had fun watching the snow. It helped me to forget the pressing problems that kept trying to suffocate me.

"Kagura!!!"

I froze in mid step. Someone had called to me.

"Psst!! Kagura!!!"

I recognized the voice that called to me. I turned to one of the windows at Akito's main house to see a pale face staring back at me.

"Yun-chan!!" I gasped, running over to him.

"Not so loud, Akito's sleeping off a fever," said Yuki, glancing quickly behind him.

"How're you holding up?" I asked.

"As badly as I did when I was a kid," answered Yuki gloomily. "I'm living the nightmare I've had for years."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. But I have something to ask you."

"What?"

"I heard a rumor that Rin, Kisa, Momiji, and you kidnapped Honda-san and tried to trigger her memories."

"Um, uh, yes, that's true."

Yuki reached out and grabbed my hands. I was surprised at how pale they were.

"How is she?" he asked. "Did she look healthy? Did she look happy?"

"She was healthy and her same usual self," I said, feeling happy at how concerned Yuki was for her.

"How did it go? Did she remember anything?"

I shook my head reluctantly. "I'm sorry. Not even seeing the photos in the album help trigger her memories."

"…Did you tell her about her relationship with me?"

"Yes. But her reaction was the same as with all the photos." I held back the notion that she had shown more interest in Kyo. It made me unhappy and Yuki certainly didn't need to hear it.

He sighed sadly. "In other words, she didn't really react at all."

"…"

Yuki leaned against the frame of the window. "Why is it so wrong to love her so much? I may be a Sohma, but that doesn't mean I have to remain celibate!! All I ever wanted was to be happy and loved. And Honda-san…she gave me all that. And now…"

I blinked back my own tears. "Have faith, Yun-chan. I'm sure if she saw you in person it would trigger her memories."

"…That never worked for Hatori and Kana."

"Yun-chan—"

"Dammit, I still remember that last night I saw her. She had sworn once that if her memories had been erased she would try to be my friend. She told me that night that even if she couldn't remember me, she would remember our love. Did you know Akito forced me to watch Hatori erase her memories?! Even after she fell to the floor I was freaking out." He looked upwards, tears sliding down his face. "I still love her; even if she doesn't fulfill her promise…will I turn out like Hatori? Forced to let her go while she goes off and falls in love with some other guy?! Is it so selfish to want her forever?!"

I choked, tears spilling down my face.

"I understand how you feel," I sniffled. "That's why I'm not going to give up on it. I won't accept her falling in love with someone when her true love was you."

Yuki laughed a little. "I bet it was a relief when you found out she loved me most and not Kyo."

I laughed a little too. "A little. But I'm sure Kyo-kun's feeling the same way about me. I'm going to try to remedy this. Please remain strong, Yun-chan."

Yuki sighed. "At this rate…I don't know if I can."

"Yuki…where are you?" came a tired voice from inside the house.

Yuki stiffened. "Oh no, Akito's awake!! Quick, get home!!"

I nodded. "Take care of yourself, Yun-chan."

He gave me a sad smile. "You too, Kagura."

I hurried home before Akito saw me. It was heartbreaking to talk to Yuki. But his words struck a chord within me. And it made me want to see Kyo more and more.

So when I got home, I collected the leftovers of the night's dinner; teriyaki beef that was sill steaming hot. I packaged it up and headed out again. Though I knew that Akito would be distracted by Yuki, I moved quickly to the house Kyo was being held. I got there in record time and undetected.

When I glanced into the barred window, I saw that he was sleeping. Not exactly a comfortable sleep, but he looked peaceful.

"With much love, Kyo-kun," I said softly, setting the package in between the bars. I knew the delicious smell would wake him right up, so I hurried back to my house.

Seeing both Yuki and Kyo when they were so vulnerable made me come to a simple conclusion: Tohru needed her memories back. And Yuki and Kyo needed to get as far away from Akito as they could.


	19. Part 19

Part 19

I couldn't think of anything to do.

When I came to this realization, it was very depressing for me. I had hoped to come up with a good solution to reunite Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru. But anything I thought of either wasn't a permanent idea or wasn't possible to follow through with.

And, I had no idea was Isuzu was up to, since she had taken refuge in Haru's house. Amazingly, Akito still didn't know that she was back.

All my thinking time was done in my house. I mostly sat in my room, watching the tiny snowflakes fall as the air grew colder. I hated being so lazy, but while I was in that condition there wasn't much I could do anyways.

Whenever Hatori came to see me, I asked him how Yuki and Kyo were doing. We were on better speaking terms than he had been before, but I had a feeling that he wasn't even speaking to Isuzu.

"How're Yun-chan and Kyo-kun doing?" I asked earnestly one day.

Hatori sighed. "Yuki has become very sullen lately. He hasn't say a word to me and Akito says he hasn't been talking much…I have a feeling he's turning out like Kisa."

I gasped loudly. When Kisa had become depressed because of her classmates, she stopped talking entirely. Was Yuki shutting out his voice because he couldn't be near Tohru?

"Akito's rather angry about it, but also pleased," said Hatori. "He figures that Yuki's finally submitted to him."

I shuddered slightly. "Poor Yun-chan."

"Kyo's not much different. Well, he _does _speak but not often. I've noticed that he has your scarf."

I turned red. "I—"

"He also told me to thank you. He somehow had in his possession a helping of food that wasn't his usual dinner."

I shook my head. There was no use hiding anything. "I gave him my scarf. And one night I left him some leftovers of my dinner. The food in general is comfort food and he needed the comfort."

Hatori patted me on the shoulder. "I understand, Kagura; there's no need to justify yourself to me. But please don't go near that house. Akito's moods have worsened as of late. I don't know what he might do to you or anyone that goes near that house."

I nodded slightly and stared out at the falling snow. "Isn't there anything that can be done? At the current point…this situation will drive everyone crazy!"

Hatori stood up. "That may be, but the situation before sent Akito into a frenzy. As head of the family, his needs come first."

"Yeah, but—"

"I might not like it too much, but he's my patient like you are. I have to look out for him like I look out for you."

I sighed dejectedly, continuing to stare outside. I didn't like being put in the same category as Akito, but there was no helping the fact that we were both sick. Even though I don't have the strength to viciously attack people and stomp them into the group.

Hatori put a hand on my head. "Have faith, Kagura. I know things look bleak now, but good things are bound to happen."

"I know. But I want those good things to happen sooner rather than later."

* * *

My days were long and slow. And never ending to boot.

Word had gotten around the Juunishi about the little escapade at Shigure's house and members started visiting me. They ignored Akito's threat that people were forbidden form seeing me and said hello and brought me gifts. Probably my most bizarre visit was when Ritsu came over.

"I-I-I-I brought some roses," he greeted, giving me a bouquet of yellow roses.

"Thank you," I said warmly. Then I accidentally pricked my finger on a thorn. "Ow!"

It was at this point Ritsu started freaking out.

"Oh my god!! I can't believe this happened!! Ah, I'm such a failure!!!! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry—"

Shigure poked him in the side, causing him to collapse on the floor.

"Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I greeted, embarrassed. I suddenly remembered the dilemma we put him through with Tohru.

Shigure laughed and waved a hand. "I like making extravagant entrances!! It's been so boring up at my house that I needed to pay you guys a visit!! I'm sure Akito would understand if I told him."

Ritsu whimpered on the floor. "I'm sorry. I was in such a good mood before this, especially since I saw Tohru…"

I fell to my knees next to him. "Ritsu, are you serious?! You really saw Tohru?!"

"Yes!! I was buying the roses and I saw her walk by!! She looked at me for a few seconds before continuing on her way."

Excitement filled my heart. "Really?! Did you talk to her before that?"

"No. I haven't spoken to her in a long time. When I saw her today I wanted to say hello to her, but then I remembered that she didn't have her memories."

Shigure looked thoughtful. "Does this mean she's gaining her memory back?"

I grabbed Ritsu by his collar and pulled him up. "What did her expression look like?"

"…Um, confused. And it looked like she was in deep thought."

I pulled him closer and planted a kiss on his mouth. Then I let him go and stood up."

"This is great!!" I declared excitedly. "I have to consult Isuzu!!"

As I ran out the door, I heard Shigure and Ritsu comment about me.

"Now, now Kagura-chan!! Don't be cheating on Kyo-kun!!"

"I…I…"

Unfortunately, Isuzu wasn't as hyperactive as I was about the whole situation.

"So?" she said plainly, flipping through a catalogue. "She's regaining some of her memories."

"What do you think we should do about it?" I asked.

"Nothing."

"What?!"

"Like I said; nothing. There's no use kidnapping her again as trying to force her forgotten memories on her didn't work. We're going to wait on her to seek out her forgotten memories."

I gulped, feeling disappointed that there was no other option for us. "So…we wait for her to come see us? That might take a long time."

Well, if we kidnap her she might intentionally suppress her forgotten memories, so we don't have much of a choice."

"Yes, you're right."

* * *

It's never easy to wait for what you seek to happen, is it?

It was torture, waiting for Tohru to show her face at some point. It was a long shot that she might come to the Sohma compound, and as the days dragged on and got colder, my hope was thinning.

Of that time, I only saw Yuki once. He looked like he was the walking dead. No doubt he had been waiting for what I was waiting for and had given up hope. It was painful to see him at that window, staring up at the sky with a mournful expression. That day I took the risk and went over to speak with him.

"Yun-chan," I said softly, reaching out and touching his warm hand. "Please hang in there. Tohru is sure to come."

Yuki looked at me with an expression that resembled a lost puppy. Or rat, for that matter. He looked as if he wanted to speak to me, but he said nothing. It was as Hatori had feared; he'd locked away his words. And though his eyes looked so sad, he wasn't crying; it seemed like he locked that away too.

He took hold of the hand which held his and turned it over so my palm was facing up. Slowly he drew out words.

"Please…hope…gone…help…" I said aloud. Tears stung my eyes when I said those words. "Oh Yun-chan…"

"Yuki!!" came Akito's call.

Yuki sighed sadly, gave me a quick nod, and left the window and disappeared into the darkness of the house.

I clenched both of my fists tightly with rage. _Damn you, Akito!!!! Damn you to the bowls of hell!!!!_

I found myself wandering around after that. Even with the chilled winds and the puffs of snow, I felt comfortable outside. I needed the distraction to keep me from breaking down all together.

That's when I found myself back in front of the house holding Kyo. And that only worked to worsen my mood.

Tears fell from my eyes as I took a seat in front of that house. I leaned my head against the wall, sighing as fresh tears sliding down my face.

"Kyo-kun…Yun-chan…" I murmured, shaking from the cold and from my sobs.

The misery of the compound seemed to stretch on forever. Until one day, nearly two months after we kidnapped Tohru, things changed.

"I'm going now, Kagura," said Mom as she bundled up. "I'm not going to be back for a while, okay? Watch out for yourself."

I put aside the book I had been reading. "Okay, Mom."

"Good. Bye."

Once she left, instead of turning back to my book I walked over to the window and saw more snow falling. Not too heavily, but it was a nice comfortable wave coming down. No spot on the ground was spared from the snow.

I don't know if it was fate, but I felt compelled to walk around outside. Feeling bored as it was, I went to get ready. I was wearing a simple kimono and despite the snowfall it wasn't as cold as it had been. So I grabbed a warm blanket and wrapped it about myself. Then, after slipping into a pair of sandals, I ventured outside.

It was even more beautiful to be outside than watch the snowfall from my window. It was silly to be wandering around in my getup while the weather was like this, but I didn't mind.

"Hi Kagura!!" called Momiji, waving happily. He and Hiro were throwing snowballs at each other. Kisa was standing off to the side, smiling a little.

"Any of you hear from Akito?" I asked cautiously, glancing towards the main house.

"Haa-san said he had another high fever and was asleep," said Hiro. "Don't worry about too much, Haa-san gave him a strong drug and he'll be asleep for a while. But don't stay out too long."

"I won't," I promised.

Hiro nodded, but his attention was diverted when Momiji threw a snowball and it hit him square in the head. With an angry yell he chased after Momiji.

I laughed a little. It was then that I felt compelled to leave the compound for a little bit. Akito had another high fever, so he wouldn't go another rampage.

_I just want to see what the snowfall looks like outside_, I thought to myself, moving towards the main gate. _I won't be too long_.

My departure wasn't really noticed since Hiro and Momiji were too busy stuffing snow into each other's shirts. Once I was outside, I leaned against the closed doors and closed my eyes. I inhaled the fresh smell of snow and looked up towards the sky.

I heard footsteps close by. I quickly turned my head, wondering who would be near our house in such weather.

Tohru stood there, looking a little nervous.

My heart jumped into my throat. I had been waiting for this moment, but I didn't expect it to come when my guard was down.

"Um…I…" said Tohru, eyeing me nervously. Obviously she was keeping the kidnapping fresh in her mind. "I…uh…never mind."

She quickly turned and started away. I gather a strength from deep within me and ran after her. Just as she was starting away I lunged, grabbing her behind, pinning her arms to her sides. She immediately struggled against me.

"Tohru, don't run!!" I cried, hanging on tightly but carefully to avoid hurting myself. "You came here for a reason, didn't you? Some of your memories came back, didn't they?"

She continued to struggle, but not as furiously as one might if they were being held against their will. That was further proof for me; she remembered my condition.

"You don't have to run!! You're safe with us!! Please, stop!!"

Finally, she stopped struggling and sank to her knees. I held a firm hold on her just in case she decided to bolt. This forced me to my knees too.

"I'm so confused," said Tohru, her voice breaking. "I didn't remember anything when you showed me those pictures. But then…this snow…_yuki_…"

I sighed softly. Yuki. Snow. Her memories started resurfacing because of the snow, or 'yuki'."

But how much did she remember?

She was trembling; I knew she was crying. "I want to know everything, Kagura-chan. Why were my memories taken from me in the first place? The warmth I felt with all of you in the memories I saw…I haven't felt that way since Mom was still alive. Did I do something bad? Did I hurt someone? What did I do that was so bad that my memories were erased?"

I changed my hold on her to make it seem more like a comforting hug. "It wasn't your fault, Tohru. None of it was. You did nothing wrong."

Because of my loosened hold, she was able to pull from me. We both stood up and she turned to me. Though tears were still spilling down her face, she wore a determined expression.

"I want to see them," she said. "Take me to see everyone. All the Juunishi. And Yuki-kun. And…Kyo-kun."

I felt uncomfortable about her statement. I had been afraid she was growing to like Kyo over Yuki. But I didn't want that. Yuki needed her strength and her love.

Besides, Kyo was my boyfriend and considering how long it took me to get him; I didn't wan to give him up.

But, I didn't let my feelings show as I took her head. "Come with me, Tohru."

I led her into the gates of the compound. I thanked my lucky stars that Akito was indisposed at the moment. If he saw Tohru on the family grounds of all places…

"Tohru?!" Momiji cried, but then quickly silenced himself when I hushed him. But I couldn't stop him from jumping onto her and giving her a big hug.

POOF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Luckily, Tohru didn't scream this time. She actually laughed and gave Momiji a small hug. She even accepted Kisa's hug. Hiro just kind of stood there, looking pleased.

"Let's find Yun-chan and Kyo-kun," I said, still afraid Akito might wake up.

"Has she recovered her memories?" asked a voice. I turned to see Isuzu and Haru joining the fray. Tohru edged away from Isuzu, probably still thinking about the kidnapping.

"A little," I responded. "She wants to see Yun-chan and Kyo-kun."

"Yell for them then," said Haru calmly. "They'll come if they hear you."

"But Akito—" I began.

"Just do it. He wouldn't dare stand up to all of us in his condition."

I was silent as I contemplated this. I didn't want anyone getting hurt. But seeing Tohru would surely help Yuki and Kyo…

"All right," I said. "Call for them. One at a time, though."

Tohru nodded and went to stand in the middle of the main area. I had a feeling of who she would call first, but I really wanted it to be Yuki.

"_Kyooooooooo-kun!!!!!_" she shrieked loudly, her voice echoing all over the compound.

We wait for several long moments. Silence greeted us. I gave a nod to Tohru, who readied herself to scream again.

Suddenly, there was a bit of rumbling and then a loud explosion from somewhere inside the camp. More rumbling followed it as loud footsteps grew closer and closer. I knew what had happened, so I wasn't surprised at what happened next.

There was a 'whoosh' of air and Kyo in his 3rd form made his presence known. He had jumped into the air, scaled one of the houses, and landed firmly on his feet nearby.

I wasn't afraid of him in this form. But I looked from Tohru to Kyo while gripping the sides of my blanket. I prayed that she would remember how she had saved him. How she had shown her acceptance of him while he was in his true form…

Kyo seemed shocked to see Tohru. Tohru stared back at him with a blank expression. Then he closed her eyes and stood still for what seemed like a long time. Then she opened her eyes and approached Kyo.

Kyo drew back a little as she came closer, but made no real attempt to run from her. She stood in front of him and reached out a hand to him.

"Kyo-kun," she said softly, touching his rough face with a gloved hand. "Oh, I'm so glad to see you. I'm glad to have started recovering my memories. It hurts to know I was made to forget someone like you."

I could tell Kyo was starting to get emotional, even as he transformed back. Tears were coming down his face as he stared at Tohru with a sad expression.

"I-I-I thought I would never see you again," he choked. Tears were coming from Tohru's eyes as she moved to hold him in a light embrace, not too tightly so he wouldn't transform.

Much to my own guilt, I felt jealous of the scene in front of me. I knew very well that Tohru would always have a place in Kyo's heart. I always had a sinking fear that if Tohru turned around and had a sudden realization that she loved Kyo the most; that he would go with her. I hated myself for feeling like that, but I had already lost Kyo once because of how he felt for her.

After a few minutes, Kyo gently pushed her away. "Thank you Tohru. But…I'm sure that there's someone who you want to see more than me."

Tohru looked confused, confirming my dread that she had not remembered her feelings for Yuki. I was very glad Yuki was not there…

"That damn Rat Yuki is waiting for you," he said, looking annoyed that he was helping Yuki. "That poor idiot has stopped talking because of all this."

Something snapped in Tohru's face. She let out a soft groan and fell forward. Kyo caught her before she hit the ground.

POOF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tohru immediately recovered herself, looking embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Kyo-kun."

"Don't be," said Kyo, now the Cat. "Just go find Yuki."

Tohru nodded slowly and stood up. She came back over to me, looking confused. "I'm sorry, Kagura-chan."

"It's fine," I said, feeling relieved. Her display before probably gave her more memories. Whatever she felt for Kyo might've ruined some things, which is probably why she apologized.

"Where can I find Yuki-kun?" she asked, almost sound anxious.

"You don't have to look far," said Momiji, who had changed back without us noticing. "He's already here."

We all turned. Yuki was leaning against Akito's house, dressed in a similar fashion I was. He was staring at Tohru as if he couldn't believe his eyes. We could all tell he had been standing there for a long time, but because he didn't talk he had remained silent.

Tohru started towards him, and I took the opportunity to go over to Kyo, who had just transformed back. He quickly yanked on his clothes and I stood over him as we all watched Tohru stop in front of Yuki.

"Yuki-kun," she said softly. "I'm sorry. I wasn't able to keep the promise. Even after my memories were erased, I didn't remember our relationship. And…I was about to make a mistake. Please, forgive me."

Yuki stared at her, not knowing how to act.

Tohru pulled off her gloves and held out her bare hands to him. "I'm here now. I don't remember everything, but I know that we loved each other. I'm sure you can help me remember everything."

Yuki remained silent, but I could tell he was on the verge of crying.

"Don't you have anything to say?" Tohru asked sincerely, though she seemed to be getting emotional again. "I'm back. The more I look at you, the more this warm feeling spreads through me. I know you've suffered all this time. Let me help you. Please?"

Yuki stared at her hands. Finally, he reached out and took them. He choked out a sob and the tears he had no doubt been holding all this time spilled out. He gripped her hands, kissing her knuckles and choking out small sobs.

"…T…Tohru-san," he forced out, finally finding his voice. It was the first time he called Tohru anything but 'Honda-san'. "Tohru-san…"

Tohru was crying again, but she wore a happy smile. She leaned against Yuki, both of them crying tears of joy.

I smiled broadly. "This is what I'd been waiting for."

Kyo snorted. "I'm glad to be out of that fucking prison. I had been planning on doing that, but I couldn't figure out the right time to do it. When I heard Tohru…I knew my time had come."

I removed the blanket I had wrapped around myself and put it around Kyo's bare shoulders. I knelt down and embraced him behind. "Before she obtained all her memories I think she liked you."

Kyo sighed. "If it had been a year ago and she confessed to me, I would've jumped on the chance; even if her memories had been erased. But now…the things I heard about Yuki, how he just gave up on everything in life…I guess it made me realized how much he loved her. Taking advantage of Tohru when she's this vulnerable is cowardly, especially when her true love is Yuki. Even if we hooked up it would've only been a matter of time that she would remember Yuki, as she had remember everything else. Besides…" he reached up and took hold of my arms. "I already have someone to love, so there's no need to chase after her."

I kissed his temple. "Thanks, Kyo-kun."

"Well now, what have we here?!"

We all jerked when we heard that voice. All of us looked up with horror as we saw the figure towering close to Yuki and Tohru.

"What the fuck is this?!" yelled Akito, his face contorted in rage.


	20. Part 20

Part 20

I had a sinking feeling of what was going through Akito's head as he saw us all gathered there in the snow. He was glaring at all of us with an extreme amount of hate. I didn't know how he had the strength to be up and about. Wasn't he suppose to be out cold from those cold drugs?

I tightened my hold on Kyo, fearing for him. Akito hated us all enough, but Kyo was up there at the top of his list.

But Kyo didn't show any fear. He glared back at Akito with an equal amount of hate. Then again, we were a good ten feet away from Akito.

Yuki and Tohru were right in front of him.

"So," said Akito, regaining some of his calm. He took a step forward, prompting Yuki to take a step in front of Tohru protectively. This helped Akito to return to his previous state of rage.

"Who's idea was this?!" he roared, his gaze darting over all of us. I took that time to look at everyone. Everyone looked so angry...especially Haru and Isuzu. It was like it was taking all his self-control from jumping on Akito and beating him to death.

I didn't think it was wise of Akito to challenge all the people he had wronged, especially since he was outnumbered greatly.

"Who's idea was this?!?!" he shrieked again. He stared straight at Isuzu. "Was this your idea, Rin?!"

Isuzu glared back and didn't hesitate taking a step towards Akito. "What would you do if it was?"

I didn't know why Isuzu was provoking Akito. She hadn't planned any of this out; it all just seemed to happen.

But the answer seemed to satisfy Akito. Before anyone could react he threw something at Isuzu. I recognized it to be a hand sized block of wood before it hit her right in the head. Akito obviously came into this situation prepared.

"_Isuzu!!!!_" I screamed, leaving Kyo's side and rushing to hers. The blow had knocked her off her feet, but not unconscious. She held a hand to her head, and I gasped loudly at the blood that seeped from between her fingers. "Someone call Hatori!!!"

"I'm sorry, but I'm breaking our promise," said Haru calmly. I looked up and saw that he had become Black Haru. I'd seen Black Haru tons of times in my life, but never have I seen such rage on Haru's face before.

Akito wasn't even fazed by Black Haru. "You think you can kill me? Try if you must!!"

I knew Akito was crazy, but this really topped everything. He was deliberately provoking Haru in a state where he could snap a man's neck if he wanted to. Haru obliged him and flew at him, fists raised.

I turned back to Isuzu, already knowing the results of the fight. "Are you all right?"

Isuzu looked up. The wood block had missed her eye, and the blood was coming from her temple. But that didn't make me any less worried for her.

"It's just a scratch," she said calmly despite the blood spilling down her face. "I'll be all–_Haru!!!!_"

I quickly turned back to the fight to see that it had already ended. But not in the way I had expected or wanted. I don't know how, but Akito somehow managed to overpower Black Haru, who now sat on the snow covered ground holding his side as White Haru.

Ignoring her injury and Akito's wrath, Isuzu rushed to Haru's side. Akito's fury grew as he saw her cradle Haru and return his glare.

"Anyone else?" he hissed, ignoring Isuzu and Haru for the moment.

I took that opportunity to return to Kyo, who now stood poised and ready. "What should we do?"

"I don't know what Akito has in mind, but I want a piece of him," growled Kyo. "And Yuki's fear of Akito has chosen the wrong time to rear its head."

I looked back to Yuki. He was still shielding Tohru and glaring at Akito, but the obvious overtones of fear were evident.

Akito of course chose that time to turn his attention to Yuki and Tohru. He had calmed down again, but still had an edge of rage to him. "Yuki, why are you outside? And with that _girl _of all people?"

He was using a calm, dark tone but it was obvious that tone intimidated Yuki. This showed as Yuki shrank back away from Akito as he came closer, but still shielded Tohru.

And Tohru, being the helpful person she is, knew she couldn't just remain silent in this situation.

"Um...Akito-san?" she asked tentatively. Akito turned his glare over to her. "I don't mean the Sohmas any harm. All I know is that I don't have all my memories. But...the Sohmas are my family. I love each and every one of them very much." she gripped the blanket around Yuki's shoulders. "If I did anything to harm anyone, then I'm sorry. But...I want to be happy with everyone. And I want everyone to be happy."

I knew Akito would not take Tohru's sincere words to heart. From the look on his face, they only worked to offend him.

"Who are you to make _any _demands of _MY _family?!?!" he shrieked. Then he did something unexpected; he reached around Yuki and grabbed a fistful of Tohru's hair at her scalp. He gave a hard yank and Tohru cried out in pain.

Something snapped in Yuki. He grabbed Akito violently. "Take your filthy hands off her _now!!!!!!!_"

His outburst stunned Akito enough to let go. Yuki then took the offensive and fully attacked Akito with stiff punches and a hatred that had built up for so long.

Somehow, I didn't know how, Akito was holding his own against Yuki. Both ignored Tohru's cries to stop it. Yuki was one of the best fighters in the family and Akito was supposedly sick all the time, yet successfully fending him off. Who would win?

After a few minutes, Akito pulled a cheap move. He dodged another of Yuki's punches, and threw a surprising strong punch at Yuki, striking him in the chest.

Yuki let out a loud gasp and fell to his knees. Tohru cried out and rushed to his side. Akito readied his foot, ready to kick her.

Kyo allowed my blanket to slide off his bare shoulders and handed it to her. "I'll be back." he readied his fists and rushed at Akito, preventing him from kicking Tohru.

I wasn't enjoying any of these fights; it was absolutely frightening. Everyone that took Akito on would never have raised a hand to him under normal circumstances. All of us were going to face Akito's full wrath when this was all over.

"You think you're better than me, Kyo?!" shrieked Akito, somehow managing to avoid Kyo's punches. "Let me remind you that you're the Cat!!! The fucking black sheep of the family!!! Fighting me won't change anything!!! All I have to do is fix that house and throw your worthless ass back into it!!! Easy as that!!!"

I was getting angrier as the minutes passed by. Kyo was hanging in there as long as Yuki did, but it was too much. Akito was angry, but enjoying causing Kyo emotional pain with each insult and crude statement.

I felt the rage build up and spread over my body. I was so angry, it was getting harder for me to control. As I watched the fight, flashes of everything horrible Akito did was going through my head.

Injuring Hatori's eye in a blind rage...

Manipulating Hatori into thinking erasing Kana's memories was the best thing to do...

Continuously harming Isuzu, causing her pain...

Hurting Kisa for some reason or another...

Keeping Yuki isolated from everyone and manipulating him every step of the way...

Harassing me when I had cancer, nearly killing me because I dare defy him...

Breaking one of Momiji's ribs because he tried to save my life...

Making Kyo out to seem like an abomination, turning the entire family against him with a superstitious fear and hate...

Each thought of the pain he'd caused us made my hate and anger grow stronger and stronger. I clenched the blanket tightly in my fists, my feelings becoming violent urges to cause Akito as much pain as he's caused us...

Kyo missed a punch and Akito grabbed his arm and twisted it. It was the arm with the bracelet, but I knew Akito wouldn't take it off. But he did take advantage of Kyo keeling over in pain from the arm hold by kicking him full in the face.

I don't know what happened after that. That single action set something off in me and the anger swelled in my brain, clouding normal and rational thoughts. The only thing I was aware of was the yelling in my ears and my arms swinging wildly.

I felt someone grab me from behind, but I continue to swung. My anger and hate had overcome me and all I wanted to do was cause Akito pain.

"_Kagura!! _Control yourself!!"

_That _brought me back to my senses. I was staring up at the sky, which was still sprinkling snow down. I looked at the person who held me to see Hatori. His expression, usually neutral, frightened me.

He looked worriedly down at me. But along with that worry there was an underlying fear. I'd never seen Hatori fearful, not even when he discovered I had cancer.

"What..." I said weakly, realizing my stitches and my hands were hurting me. I lifted up my hands to see my knuckles covered in blood. Yelping, I wiped away the blood to see that my knuckles were turning black and blue.

It was then that I noticed something in front of me. It was Akito, and he was laying on the ground. Despite my hatred for him, seeing him covered in those dark bruises and blood frightened me. I knew from the blood on my deeply bruised knuckles that I had done that to him in one of my rages. Much like the obsessive rages I'd use to go into around Kyo, but I don't think I ever caused him damage like this.

"Akito?" I asked softly. I slowly reached for his limp hand and took it. I gasped loudly and dropped his hand.

His skin was very cold, even for the weather. And he wasn't moving or getting up. He didn't even look like he was breathing.

I realized my rampage probably killed Akito.

"Gods," I said, starting to shake. "I...I killed him!! I can't...oh Gods I killed him!!!"

I started sobbing hysterically. Hatori called Kyo over before rushing to Akito's side. I watched Hatori check for a pulse and breathing as Kyo came to me. He wrapped the blanket around me and held me closely.

"Kyo-kun, I didn't mean to kill him!!! Please believe me, I just wanted him to stop hurting us!!! I didn't want to kill him!!!"

"Everything's going to be all right," soothed Kyo. "Don't worry..."

"How is everything going to be all right?!?! I killed the head of our family!!! Oh Gods, what have I done?! I killed somebody!!"

I sobbed into his chest, hardly hearing Hatori come over to us.

"He has a pulse, but he's not breathing," he told Kyo. I heard a rattling of keys. "Kagura's hysterical, but at the moment I have to get Akito conscious. Take the traveling van and get her the hell away from this place. The farther the better; she'll be able to calm down. Better yet, get all the young Juunishi and Tohru out of here. After this you all need to relax."

Kyo lifted me up into his arms as he stood. "I understand. Hey everyone, let's go!!"

I didn't have much awareness after that. All I knew was that if Akito died I was the one who killed him.

* * *

When I woke up, I was a little surprised because I didn't realize when I had fallen asleep. But when I woke up I felt a lot calmer than I did earlier. Then again, I also felt exhausted and my hands and stitches hurt like nothing else.

"Awake?" came a calm voice. I looked up, following the voice. Though it was a little dark, the one light that was on in the traveling van showed me Kyo's face.

"When did I fall asleep?" I asked, my voice full of exhaustion. I looked around the silent van, using the one light to see. At the front Haru was driving; I wondered how he knew, considering all he had was that bicycle of his. Then I realized Isuzu must've taught him while they were in Akita.

I looked to one side of the van to see Isuzu laid out across the seats, asleep. Her head was in Hiro's lap, who was nodding off. Kisa was curled up where here feet ended, asleep.

I looked to the other side to see Momiji curled up asleep in a similar fashion to Kisa. Tohru was also asleep, but her head was resting on Yuki's shoulders. Yuki was still awake, though Tohru had his attention.

"Not long after we started driving," said Kyo, getting my attention again. I realized we were at the back of the van. I turned a little red as I further realized that Kyo was holding me in his lap. "How are you feeling?"

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against his chest. "I don't know. When I saw Akito lying there motionless..."

"Don't think about it. Remember, you're still recovering and you need your strength."

"I know." I wanted to hug him, but my arms were pinned by the blanket wrapped around me. I struggled a little to get them loose. Kyo seemed a little confused until I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and hugged him tightly.

"I didn't think I'd ever be able to hug you again," I said softly. Tears were sliding down my face. "I missed you so much, Kyo-kun!!"

Kyo's arms slid up and gently hugged me back. "I know, Kagura. I missed you too. But I'm out and that's what counts, right?"

I leaned back from the embrace and kissed him. He easily yielded to my kiss and returned. Even if it was a bad situation, the feeling of love passed through me much like the rage had earlier that day. But the loving feeling felt so much better. Loving Kyo, and having him love me...after everything we went through, nothing seemed more important to me than this.

After a few moments, Kyo broke the kiss. "All right, you should get back to sleep. The more sleep you get, the better you'll feel."

I smiled, wrapping the blanket back around myself and snuggling close to him. Being this close to him felt so good for me; I'd follow any commands he'd give me.

"Aren't you going to sleep, Kyo-kun?" I asked softly, feeling sleep claim me again.

"In a little while," said Kyo. "I slept all morning before the confrontation. I'm not too tired."

"Well, be sure to get some sleep anyway. I may be the recovering one, but you deserve sleep too."

Kyo laughed a little. "Okay, I will."

My eyes slid closed and I allowed myself to sleep into a deep sleep. There were still problems ahead of me. I didn't know where we were going; all I knew it was somewhere where we were all going to relax. And I didn't know what was going to happen to Akito; if he was going to live and if he did live what he was going to do to me.

Whatever happened, I'm sure everyone will help me.


	21. Part 21

Part 21

I heard loud voices, even before I opened my eyes.

"We _have_ to tell her–"

"But if there's a possibility of reversing this–"

"There isn't. We all know what we saw."

My eyes opened fully. I was laying on a bed in a sterile white room. I slowly sat up in bed, realizing I was wearing a flimsy hospital gown.

_This was their idea of taking me somewhere to relax?_ I wondered, feeling mildly disappointed. _Taking me to a hospital?_

I realized that something might have happened in that van after I spoke. Not that I felt sick. I felt rather good.

But who was arguing?

I slowly made my way to the door to the room. The loud voices grew louder with each step I took. And with each step, my fear grew. What if there was something wrong with me?

Why was I even alone in the room? Where was Kyo and the others?

I reached the door. The voices were so loud now it hurt to listen to them.

"She's an adult. She can handle it–"

"You don't know that. She's very fragile. The shock might kill her–"

"So we leave her in the dark?"

I slid open the door. The voices went quiet.

The room was full of men in suits and medical coats. Of them, I only recognized Hatori.

He immediately came over to me. "Kagura, you should be resting–"

"Where's Kyo-kun and the others?" I interrupted, feeling uncomfortable by the searching looks I was getting from the other men. "Didn't they come here with me?"

"Kagura–"

"And what about Akito? Is he here too? Is he going to be all right?"

Hatori forcefully grabbed my shoulders. "That doesn't matter, Kagura! Just listen to me!"

His grip was hurting me. I tried to pull out of his grasp, but he his hold on me only tightened. This wasn't like Hatori at all! Was he angry about what I did to Akito?

Maybe that's what this was all about. I didn't care, I wanted Kyo. I didn't want to be near Hatori if he was going to hurt me.

"Kagura, I have bad news for you," said Hatori. "You might want to sit down."

"I'm fine standing," I snapped. "But I would much appreciate it if you called my mom and Kyo-kun."

"No, they can't know about this. Believe me, this is hard as it is."

I froze. "What's wrong."

Hatori closed his eye, then opened it.

"Kagura, the cancer has returned."

I jerked violently, the shock overwhelming me. My motion somehow got me out of Hatori's grip and I started backing away from him.

"That's not possible," I said, my voice breaking. "It's too soon. It's just been removed!! And there's no kidney there anymore!! How the hell can it just come back?!"

"That's not the problem," said Hatori. He looked me right in the eyes. "It's the same cancer as before. But it's growing at catastrophic rates. It's taking over your major organs and even entered your blood stream."

My jaw dropped. _Its growing _that _fast? Even with Hatori here, there's no way to save me..._

"You don't believe me?" asked Hatori for one reason or another. He pointed behind me. "Look for yourself."

I turned around, realizing that a mirror was on the wall. I looked at myself and screamed.

My entire back had swelled three or four times its regular size. The skin was covered with huge lumps. Much like the one I had originally, but much bigger. And the lumps and my back were growing and bubbling as the seconds passed by.

"Get it out of me!!!!"I shrieked, unable to turn my gaze away from the mirror. "Help me!! Get it–"

POOOOOF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The overall shock made me change forms. But even as I lay on the floor as the Boar, my back was still bubbling and growing.

"Gods, help me!!!!"I cried. "Get it out of me!!!"

Hatori stared down at me, looking like he was at a loss at what to do. The other men stood around me, observing me and taking notes like I was a bad science project.

_Why aren't they helping me?!?! Someone please help me!!!! Kyo-kun!!!_

* * *

"Kagura?"

I came awake with a loud gasp. Never in my life had I ever been so frightened.

Isuzu stared down at me, looking worried. "You okay?"

I looked around me, noting that this room wasn't my room. It looked a lot fancier. "I just had the worst nightmare in existence..."

My hands sought out my back to see if there was a difference. To my immense relief my back was still flat and smooth. And my stitches were intact.

I sat up in the futon, looking around the room again. "Where is this?"

"The Sohma Family hot springs," said Isuzu, shaking her head. "It was Momiji's idea. Not very logical considering it belongs to the family. But a huge blizzard hit while Haru was driving so we had no choice but to come here. I guess as a benefit Akito won't send anyone after us with the amount of snow outside."

"How's your face?" I asked, reaching out and touching the bandage on her temple.

"I'll live," she said solemnly. "Ritsu's mother bandaged me up once we arrived, all the while going on a rampage. How are you feeling?"

"I've been better. But I think I'll be all right."

Isuzu nodded and stretched. "Man, you were out like a clock. It's damn near evening now."

I blinked. "I've been asleep all day?"

"Yeah. Everyone's doing their own thing. Except Kyo there, he's out much like you were."

I quickly turned, realizing for the first time that we were alone in the room. Kyo was fast asleep in a futon.

A futon right next to mine.

Isuzu looked at her watch. "Momiji might be in here to wake him up, though. He wants us all to go into the hot springs together, despite the fact its fucking freezing outside and there's like at least six feet of snow."

I laughed. "Well, Hatori _did _tell us all to relax. A nice hot spring in the middle of a cold winter won't hurt. Although..." I remembered that Hatori had forbidden me from taking baths while my stitches healed. "With my stitches, I don't think I'll be able to go in."

"Haru's been trying to get in contact with Hatori all day," said Isuzu. "No success as far as I know. But I'll tell him to ask about your stitches once he gets through."

I nodded and stood up. "Well, I can't lie down for the remainder of the day. You wanna take a walk around?"

"Sure. I've been sitting here a while. Last I checked, everyone was in the game room."

"Great, let's go there." Before leaving, I gave Kyo a quick kiss goodbye. He stirred a little, but otherwise stayed asleep.

I laughed a little as we walked down the hall. "I can smell ice and snow."

"It was bad earlier," said Isuzu. "It started snowing in a bunch of the rooms. And...well, you know how the management handles crises."

I sighed. "Are they on a rampage now?"

"No. But Ritsu's here and he's been a shaking mess all day."

"LET ME GO!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Both of us stopped in our tracks. Hiro.

"Shit," cursed Isuzu, taking off at a run. I followed her as much as I could, almost fearing the most. We reached the game room in record time. "What–"

"Put me down!!" shrieked Hiro and I couldn't help but burst out laughing. Haru, who seemed to be between Black and White, had lifted the younger Juunishi up over his head and was making a march towards the humongous snow pile just outside.

"Oh c'mon Hatsuharu-san, put Hiro-chan down," said Tohru, while giggling like crazy.

"Please," said Kisa in her quiet voice, looking to be the only person who didn't find this funny.

Haru sighed heavily, setting Hiro down. "All right, all right."

Hiro cursed, and kicked Haru hard in the knee. But Haru had returned to normal and just nursed his knee passively.

Momiji was the one who noticed Isuzu and me. "Hey!! You're awake!!"

Tohru jumped up and rushed over to us. "Are you feeling better, Kagura-chan?"

"Yes," I responded, smiling a little. "How about you, Tohru?"

"Since we got here, all these memories have popped into my head. It's so clear; like I'm reliving White Day all over again!"

Yuki came over to us, wearing a sheepish smile. "Being here is certainly nostalgic. I have some of my better memories here."

"Hey, where's Kyo?" asked Momiji, looking around as if he was scouting Kyo.

"He's still asleep," I said. "He looked exhausted when I woke, even while asleep. I think–"

"Great, let's go get him up!! Everyone's been patient, wanting to try out the hot springs!!"

"Momiji wanted us all to go in together," explained Yuki.

"The idiot bunny even went so far to rope off the hot spring," muttered Hiro.

"I'll go get Kyo up!!" announced Momiji, running down the hall towards the room Kyo and I seemed to be sharing.

"I better go with him," said Haru, though the combination of Momiji and Haru waking Kyo up might prove disastrous. As he passed us, he tossed his cell phone to Isuzu. "Hang on to this in case Hatori calls. This might take a while."

It was no sooner that he departed that the phone rang. Isuzu quickly answered it. "Rin here."

"Who is it?" asked Tohru, but Isuzu put up a hand as if to say 'be quiet'.

"Yeah. Is he–"she suddenly looked disappointed. "Shit. All right. Why should I tell you that?"

Yuki took the phone from her. "We're at the hot springs, Hatori. But it seems logical that no one can get through with the weather like this. Six feet already and another two by tomorrow morning. Uh huh. Yeah. Okay, bye." He hung up.

"What's the matter?" asked Hiro, eyeing Isuzu's hardened face.

"Akito's alive," she said. "They managed to get him breathing again and conscious. But he's asleep now."

A mixture of relief and fear washed over me. Even if it was Akito, I was more than pleased that I didn't kill.

But that also meant I had to face him in the aftermath of my nearly beating him to death.

"Why'd you tell him where we were?!" Isuzu demanded.

"There's no use hiding from Hatori. And with the weather this bad, it'll take days before we can even leave this place."

"But Akito might..." said Kisa quietly, looking at me. I knew what Akito was capable of doing to me for this.

"We won't let that happen."

"That's right!" said Tohru. "Akito has to understand that we all have a tight bond!"

It was then that a slur of swear words and wails reached us and the walls shook.

"Looks like Kyo's awake," said Yuki. "Might as well go ahead into the hot springs. And don't worry Kagura; Hatori told me to give the 'okay' about it."

* * *

Being someone who'd been without a proper bath for months, I had to say it felt like heaven being in the hot springs. Though it technically wasn't a bath, it was certainly refreshing.

"Oh, I'm remembering something!!" cried Tohru, sounding very excited. We were all huddled together because despite the heat from the hot spring, the chill in the air was affecting us. And the mountain of snow surrounding the springs didn't help much. "I remember going into the springs on that White Day...and Momiji-kun and me sang a cute song before I passed out!!"

"Wow, _Nee-chan_," said Kisa, looking at Tohru with awe. "Did you get hurt?"

"No, I think I made it out all right!"

"Whoopee," muttered Isuzu sarcastically.

Tohru's face then became sad. "I brought Mom with me on the last trip, but this time I had to leave her at home. I would've like to bring her again."

We didn't need to ask about her mom. Despite her mom was dead, Tohru carried her photo around with her and spoke to it as if her mom was still around. Since Mom is still around, I can't say I understand her pain. But I knew if my mom died I wouldn't know how to handle it.

"Toohru!!!" yelled Momiji on the other side of the spring. "Try holding some of the snow!! It feels weird!!"

Tohru obliged Momiji and grabbed a huge helping of snow. Kisa did so as well.

"How's it feel?" I asked, admiring the crystalized snow surrounding us.

Tohru shivered uncontrollably, but she was smiling. "It does feel strange. The combination of the icy snow and the hot spring."

"It'll just make your hands numb," said Isuzu.

Kisa dropped her handful of snow. "Oops. Well it did feel weird."

"Tohru!!! Are you remembering anything?" called Momiji.

"Yes, little by little!!" Tohru called back.

There was some rustling on the other side of the divider.

"What the hell are you doing?!" yelled Kyo, and there more rustles, along with Momiji complaining.

"Looks like Momiji wanted to get over the wall," I laughed. "Kyo-kun! Don't rough him up too much!!" As if by magic the rustling stopped.

"I'd feel the least threatened if Momiji came over here out of all of them," said Isuzu, brushing loose strands of hair out of her face.

"Toohru!!!" called Momiji again. "Do you remember the song we sang here last time?"

"No, not that!!" yelled Kyo, sounding annoyed.

"What song?" came Hiro's voice.

"Tohru-san and Momiji engaged in a song Momiji made up the last time we were here," came Yuki's reply. I felt a warm feeling spread through me as he said 'Tohru-san'. Having only called her 'Honda-san' before, even when they started going out, it showed that Yuki was becoming a more open person.

Now only if he'd drop the 'san' and maybe use 'chan'.

"I...I remember we sang a song, but I can't remember how it went," said Tohru.

"I remember it!! You wanna sing it? It should help bring up more memories!!"

"You just made up that song off the top of your head," snapped Kyo. "How would _you _remember it?! And why would you want to remember something so stupid?!"

"Here, let's sing it!!" Momiji then started singing. "_Yuhi no you yamani, Teru, teru Momiji, Kaeru ya tokage ga, Konnichiwa_."

It was by far the silliest song I'd ever heard. But seeing that Momiji created it, I guess it was suppose to be silly.

"I think I remember it," said Tohru slowly. "Let me try..._Yuhi no you yamani, Teru, teru Momiji, Kaeru ya tokage ga, Konnichiwa_. Wait, I do remember it!! It's coming back to me!!"

"Yay!!! Can you remember the rest of the lyrics? Sing 'em for me!!!"

Isuzu rolled her eyes. "I'm getting out. Yell if something happens."

"Um, ah," said Tohru, closing her eyes. "_Koi no arai mo, Tabu no ko umani, Yuhi no you yamani, Teru, teru Momiji, Kaeru ya tokage ga, Konnichiwa_."

"You got it!!" cried Momiji. "Let's sing it together!!"

"_Nee-chan_, can you teach me?" Kisa asked shyly.

"Of course!!" said Tohru. Five minutes later, there seemed to be a chorus singing Momiji's song. Momiji sang it in a loud voice while Tohru and Kisa were a little subdued.

"That's it, shut the hell up!!!!" yelled Hiro. "If I recall, we were all sent here to relax, not to be annoyed to death!!"

I laughed loudly. "Aw, Hiro-chan!!! Are you telling Kisa here to shut up too?"

Kisa stopped singing and looked uncomfortable. "Do I...really sound that bad?"

Hiro quickly changed tactics. "W-Wait!! What I meant was, you guys really sound good!! Keep it up!!"

And they did. For about fifteen more minutes, driving Kyo and Hiro crazy (though took it quietly). Yuki remained silent, so I didn't know what he thought.

Finally, we all got out. Once we were dressed, Isuzu came over to me.

"How's your stitches?" she asked, looking a little worried.

"The pain I felt before we came here is gone, but I can't clearly see them," I responded. I lifted my shirt a little. "How do they look?"

Isuzu checked for me. "I'm no doctor, but they look fine to me."

I sighed. "That's good."

Tohru laughed. "All that singing's made me hungry!!"

"Well, they brought the food out," said Isuzu. "I wouldn't be surprised if it's cold, considering how long you guys sat in there singing."

* * *

Dinner was a fun experience for me. Considering all I'd been through, I was pleased to see just how much food I was able to eat.

Everyone was really happy too. Tohru's memories were becoming clearer and clearer; it's like someone opened a floodgate.

It was nice to see Ritsu too. After all, it had been his offhanded comment about Tohru that had given me the inspiration to help her with her memories. But his panic attacks were a bit over the top; especially when he dropped a hot cup of tea on Kyo.

"OWWW!!!!!!!! SHIT THIS HURTS!!!!!!"

"I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY–"

"OWWW, IT'S IN MY EYES!!!!!!!!!"

"OH, I'M A FAILURE!!!!!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW STUPID I AM!!!!"

Finally, Ritsu was able to calm down. I helped Kyo clean up, though he was still irritated.

"Idiot, why the hell can't he look where he's going?!" he fumed.

"Ritsu is Ritsu," I said. "At least the tea didn't burn you too badly."

Kyo scoffed, starting to stand. "Yeah, I know. I think I'll go to bed early." he gave me a peck on the cheek before leaving.

Isuzu smiled behind her cup. "Maybe I should've made the sleeping arrangements a little more innocent?"

I turned to her. "What?"

"I thought you might want to know that you're sharing a room with Kyo, though you probably gathered as much. Yuki, Tohru, Haru and I are all sharing a room, and Momiji, Hiro, and Kisa are sharing a room."

The sleeping arrangements were odd. "Why would you not consider them innocent?"

Isuzu finished her tea and got up to go. Before she left she told me, "Because, Kyo and you are sharing a room alone. And it's a bit further away from our rooms."

I blushed. I knew what she was implying. That Kyo and I might...

"Another blizzard is striking tonight. There are a few ways to keep yourself warm."

Then she left. Leaving me feeling awkward.

_I don't understand Isuzu!! Why would she think Kyo-kun and I would do that? I don't even think I'm fit to do it!! _That thought only deepened my blush. _Dammit. I'd better not think about it. I got other things to worry about. Like if I'm going to survive once I leave this place._

The lyrics used in this chapter are from Chiisana Inori Fruits Basket site (sorry, can't put down the link).


	22. Part 22

Part 22

Though I realized I was facing a lot of bad things once we left the safety of the hot spring, I enjoyed myself as much as I could. I found relaxing there to be far more refreshing than relaxing at home.

The snow was still bad, blocking off the roads leading to the hot spring. This helped to delay the inevitable and for all of us to have fun. Tohru was a little apprehensive about staying away from school for so long.

"I made a promise to Mom that I'd graduate from high school," she murmured, eyeing the snow outside with worry. "I just hope they don't kick me out for missing so many days."

"Tohru, there's a snow storm going on!!" said Momiji, tugging on her sleeve. "And I talked to Haa-san yesterday; he said he'd take care of everything at our schools!!"

Tohru let out a shaky sigh. "I just don't want to disappoint Mom..."

"I'm sure your mom would be happy if you had some fun every once in a while," said Isuzu, looking annoyed at Tohru's worry. "And it wasn't like we could avoid this. I'm sure she's pleased you're recovering more of your memories more than you acting like a model student with perfect attendance."

Tohru turned red.

"Rin-san, be a little nicer!!" hissed Momiji.

Yuki walked over to Tohru and put a hand on her hand. "Don't worry so much. It may look bad now, but it'll work out."

Tohru smiled a little at him. "Thanks, Yuki-kun."

If only I could go by that advice.

Sure, I was having just as much fun as everybody else; eating good food, taking baths in the hot spring, watching Kyo and Yuki get into arguments which usually ended with Black Haru jumping Kyo.

But it was still very nerve wracking not knowing what was going to happen once we went back home. Akito was probably very angry with me for assaulting him and wasn't going to forget it easily.

I tried to busy myself with the fun everyone else was having. Hatori called twice a day, but Momiji was the one who talked to him so I didn't hear their conversations. It seemed all he told Momiji was updates of Akito's condition because that's all he told us. Isuzu seemed pissed that Akito was recovering from the injuries I inflicted upon him. Not that I blamed her, of course. Nor did I blame Kyo and Yuki for sharing her sentiments.

It got a little monotonous at times, but the festivities occupied my time and I needed that at the moment.

The hostess at the hot springs was a little horrified at the sleeping arrangements Isuzu had created for us. While Isuzu explained that Kyo was helping to take care of me, she couldn't explain clearly why she herself was sharing a room with Haru and Yuki and Tohru were sharing a room together.

Not that any of us were inclined to do anything less than innocent...right?

If Isuzu _did _have any ulterior motives with Kyo and me, they sure weren't working out. The activities kept us so busy that everyone went right to sleep at night. As far as I know, of course. At least that what happened with Kyo; after a day of fighting with Yuki and Haru, all he had the strength to do was give me a kiss on the cheek goodnight and pass out on his futon.

And while he slept peacefully, I found myself haunted by nightmares. Many were of the nightmare of my cancer coming back, but that didn't make the others any less frightening. Some consisted of Akito getting his hands on me; one particularly bad one had Akito dying of the injuries I inflicted upon him and him coming back as an immortal, unstoppable demon to terrorize us forever. It sounds ridiculous, but it's really scary if you experience it.

With each of the nightmares, if Kyo doesn't wake up by my crying I still go to him for comfort. Even with his short-temper, he was kind to me whenever I woke up. One time he held me close and we fell asleep like that. Needless to say, there was a lot of yelling from the hostess when she checked on us the next morning.

I knew what I had to face once I got home. But I found myself wishing that the snowstorm would last longer and longer.

* * *

"This is so delicious!!" said Tohru as she tasted the food.

Isuzu rolled her eyes. "It's the same food as we ate yesterday. Honestly; with a storm like this, I wonder how they're getting their food supplies."

"Oh, we always have a good storage of food!!" said Ritsu, for once being calm. But the absence of the other boys seemed to help calm his nerves.

I calmly sipped my tea, smiling a little. "It's been a lot of fun here. I'm glad I can finally relax."

"Yeah, Momiji-kun said Hatori-san said the therapeutic atmosphere of the hot spring would help with your recovery," said Tohru brightly, eating more.

I blinked at this. "Momiji never told me this."

Isuzu shrugged. "Hatori's telling that kid a lot of things; I doubt it's just updates on Akito's condition. Then again, he might've figured you already knew that and didn't need reminding."

I thought about it and shrugged. "That must be it."

The door then slid open and Yuki calmly came in, looking quite soaked.

"Yuki-kun, get into something warmer!!" cried Tohru, running over to him.

But as she reached him, he put up a hand. "You might want to take a step back, Tohru-san. It might get ugly."

"What might?" asked Tohru, but her question was answered by yelling down the hall.

"What's that?" I asked, putting down my cup of tea.

"I was beating that Stupid Cat at a snow fight (I don't know why I tried playing), when he got pissed off and tried to attack me. Haru then changed and jumped him. Last I check, Momiji was trying to calm them both down and Hiro went to change into dry clothes."

There was a loud _CRASH!_ from down the hall. Yuki put a hand to his head and groaned.

"It sounds bad!" cried Kisa fearfully. "Are they going to be all right?"

"Knowing them, they'll recover from this fiasco," sighed Isuzu, standing up. "I guess I better go put Haru in his place..."

There were running footsteps and more punches thrown. Yuki seemed to be anticipating something and gently moved Tohru to the side. "Would you stand here, Tohru-san?"

"Why?" asked Tohru, but once again she got her answer.

There was a loud crashing noise as a body was thrown through the sliding door. Said body sailed through the air until it landed on the land in front of us. I had instinctively grabbed my cup of tea before impact, and Kisa grabbed her plate of food. But nothing else was salvaged with the broken table and plates. When the dust cleared, I could see who had hit the table.

"Kyo-kun!!!" I cried, rushing to his side. I helped him into a sitting position, pulling a piece of broken bowl out of his hair. "Are you all right?"

"You're dead, Haru!!!!"he roared, ignoring my question. He leapt to his feet and charged at the open space where the door use to be, where a smirking Black Haru stood. Their fight resumed almost immediately, though I was sure the impact gave Kyo a concussion.

Meanwhile, Ritsu was convinced that Haru throwing Kyo and smashing a table full of food was his fault. So it made for one giant headache.

"OH, I'M SUCH A FAILURE, I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE!!!!!!!!!!"

"YOU THINK YOU'RE A BIG TOUGH GUY, AREN'T YOU?!?! THROWING ME THROUGH A DOOR!!!!!"

"I'M SUCH A DISGRACE!!! LET ME DIE NOW!!!!!!!!"

"AW, IS THE POOR BABY HURT?!?! THE POOR BABY DOESN'T WANT TO BE NURSED BY HIS GIRLFRIEND?!?! OR WERE YOU HOPING TO IMPRESS HER AND GET HER INTO BED?!?!"

Okay, Haru was lucky I didn't have the strength to beat anyone up, or he'd be dead on the floor.

"THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!!!!! I'M SORRY!!!!!!!!"

"YOU'RE A SICK FUCKING PERVERT!!!! WHO ARE YOU TO ACCUSE ME OF THAT?!?! _YOU'RE _THE ONE WHO'S SHARING A ROOM WITH A GIRL!!!!!!!"

Kyo seemed to have forgotten he was sharing a room with me.

"AW, ARE YOU JEALOUS BABY?!?! WANT TO EXPERIENCE WHAT I DO EVERY NIGHT?!?!?!"

"WHAT THE–WHAT ARE YOU BABBLING ABOUT?!?!?!"

"UNLIKE YOU, I GET TO GO TO SLEEP AT NICE FEELING QUITE CONTENTED!!!!"

I turned red at what Haru implied and looked at Isuzu.

"Excuse me," she said, heading for the door.

Tohru looked confused. "Why is Rin-san upset? Don't we all feel contented when we go to bed?"

Sometimes, Tohru's naivety amazed me. Even Yuki was shaking his head at her.

"HEY!!!!" Isuzu yelled. "IF YOU TWO DON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP FIGHTING, THEN I'M MOVING TO KAGURA'S ROOM AND YOU TWO CAN SHACK UP TOGETHER!!!!"

Kyo wore an angry expression, but said no more. Black Haru was looking at Isuzu horrified, as if she declared something unforgivable.

"Aw, don't be that way Rin!!" he said with an evil smile. He threw an arm around Kyo, choking him at the throat. "We're best buddies!! Though, it would be terrible if we left you two all alone."

I rolled my eyes. I had a pretty good idea what Haru was implying, though I didn't want to think about it.

"Right then," said Isuzu, turning around and heading back into the room. Behind her, Haru sagged with relief against Kyo, who gave him a hard shove away. "Back to dinner."

"But how are we suppose to eat without a table?" asked Kisa quietly, still holding her plate of dinner.

"Simple. Hey!!" she yelled to Ritsu, who was ranting incoherently. "Get us another table!!!"

That seemed to calm Ritsu down. "O-Oh. Right!!" he rushed off.

I sighed, sipping my tea. "Let's just hope nothing else is broken."

* * *

The nightmare I had that night was like a combination of all the others. Hatori was leaning over me, telling me that Akito was going to make a full recovery, but he needed a kidney transplant and my one kidney was the only match that was compatible for him. On top of that, I was suffering from cancer in my other major organs, and everyone else, Kyo included, said I should give up my kidney since I was going to die anyway.

Of course, that was when I realized it was a dream and woke up. Even if I guessed immediately it was a dream, it still scared me. I turned to Kyo to wake him up, when I noticed something. He was asleep, but was mumbling. His eyebrows were knitted together and he was twisting around in the futon.

He was having a nightmare.

After all the nights he comforted me about my nightmares, I knew it was my turn to comfort him. I crawled open and quickly woke him up.

"Kyo-kun, wake up!!" I hissed, shaking him gently. "It's only a dream!!"

His eyes snapped open and he sat up. He looked so...calm. It scared me to see him so unresponsive after waking up.

"Are you okay?" I asked quietly, taking hold of his hand. It was sweaty and clammy, but I didn't care.

Kyo turned to look at me. For several moments all he did was stare at me. Then, tears spilled down his cheeks. Moments later he was sobbing, throwing his arms around me and burying his face into my shoulder.

My hands instinctively went to his back, holding him comfortingly. I hardly ever saw him cry, even as a couple. I don't ask how bad the dream was; I know he'll tell me if he wants to.

Finally, he stops crying, but didn't pull away. When he started speaking, it was in a soft whisper; I could barely hear him.

"It felt like I was in isolation again. All day long, nothing to keep me company but my own thoughts. Being tied down to an unjust destiny..."

I remained silent, but listened closely.

"While I was in isolation, I had horrible nightmares. And...one just resurfaced. I was chained up, unable to move. My throat was paralyzed, so I couldn't speak above a whisper. And I saw...my father standing over me."

I froze. I knew that Kyo didn't mean Shishou, but his birth father. The man who saw him lower than a human and held Kyo responsible for his mother's death.

"He told me...he said I took away his only happiness, so none should be granted to me. He turned me around...and I saw Akito. He was making me relive everything terrible in my life and creating false images as if projecting the future. I...I kept seeing you die."

I hugged Kyo tighter. "I'm not going to die, Kyo-kun."

"But when you were attacked and landed in that coma...when we saw you we thought you were already dead. You looked so pale and you weren't moving. And you didn't respond when I spoke with you. I've lost nearly everything, Kagura. My mom, my dad...and I nearly lost you."

I felt a lump grow in my throat and my eyes stun with tears.

"Over and over again, they stood over me. Telling me I deserved to die for everything that's happened. That I might as well die because of everything I've done."

"You've done nothing wrong, Kyo-kun! There is nothing you've ever done that warrants your death!!" I forced his face upwards to look at me. "Listen to me; you should never listen to those who hold you in so little regard. Listen only whom love you and will do anything for you. I'm positive that Yun-chan and the rest of the Juunishi would want you to live. You shouldn't even take in Akito's lies; he seeks to hurt and has done so far too often for anyone to seek his advice. As for your father...that man isn't your father."

Kyo looked stunned, but said nothing.

"Family isn't what's in the blood; it's what's in the heart. Someone like that man shouldn't be worth your thoughts. You have one father, and he's Shishou. And surely Shishou would never want you to die."

Kyo continued to remain silent before letting out a sad sigh.

"I know you're right. But when you're in isolation, faced with the same four walls forever with only your thoughts to keep you company...I thought I was going to go insane. And those nightmares..."

"A lot has happened, Kyo-kun. But after everything we've all gone through, do you think we're going to let Akito do it again? I sure as hell am not going to stand idly by if he tries. We all care about you so much; and Tohru and Yun-chan. What's happened to you three is terrible and unforgivable and none of us can let it happen again. We all have to face some demons when we go home; but we can't face them unless we stand together. Okay?"

Kyo managed a nod. He slid out of my embrace and wiped at his eyes.

"I'm not really use to this side of you. I'm sorry all I saw for so long was your rages."

I laughed. "Well, that's all you've seen from me for most of our lives. And who knows; I might be back at it once I fully recover. In the meantime, you can get use to this new attitude of mine."

Kyo laughed, then settled back down. He shyly beckoned me to his side and I snuggled up close to him in his futon. "The hostess will freak when she sees us like this again."

"Guess so. But noise was always the secret ingredient to a lively morning."

* * *

I had to admit; my nightmares vanished when I slept next to Kyo. Just being so close to him allowed me to fully relax. I knew it was because I loved him so much, but I had an idea that his feelings for me leaked out and helped to calm me as well.

But even with the calm I felt around Kyo, it didn't help either of us from escaping the inevitable. The very next day, the snowstorm receded into nothingness. And with no snowstorm, it would be easier to clear the roads.

And we would have to go home and face Akito.

Despite knowing all this, I wasn't prepared. I nearly killed Akito when I attacked him. Even though he did the same to me, he wasn't about to forgive me. And he was going to be sure I paid for what I did.

A scant few days later, Kyo and I were woken straight up by Ritsu and told to go to the dining room right away. We both got into proper clothing and followed Ritsu into the room.

Hatori was there. As were everyone else.

"Please sit," said Hatori, motioning to where everyone else was sitting.

Kyo and I complied, sitting on either side of Momiji. I was trembling with fear; I had to clutch my hands to stop their shaking.

"I'm guessing you all know why I'm here," he started slowly, looking at each of us but me last. "I'm here to take you all home."

Silence greeted him.

"I've spoken with each of your schools and they understand your extended absences. I'm sure you all enjoyed your time here, but now isn't the time to stay away." he took a deep breath. "Akito has been discharged and is at the Sohma House. And he wants to speak with all of you."

I knew it was coming, but I was still paralyzed with fear. I wasn't even shaking anymore. I didn't know what to say.

Yuki spoke first. He grabbed Tohru's hand, his face furious.

"I'm not going back there," he hissed at Hatori. "I have _nothing_ to discuss with Akito. And he is not coming anywhere near Tohru-san!!"

"Yuki, running away won't help the situation," said Hatori, his neutral face bearing a sad shadow. "Either you come with me now, or surely Akito will send one of his men after you."

Yuki froze, as did Kyo. Judging from the look on Tohru's face, she was equally scared. I didn't have to guess that Akito kidnaping them from Shigure's house wasn't exactly pleasant.

"I'll be all right," said Tohru, though her tone of voice betrayed her words. "I don't want to run from Akito."

Yuki stared at her for several moments before sighing in resignation. "All right. Let's go back."

Hatori stood. "There's a van waiting outside. Akito's waiting for our arrival."


	23. Part 23

Part 23

It took us no time to gather ourselves and head out to the waiting van outside. I almost wished that this was all nothing more than a terrible nightmare.

But Kyo's tight grip on my hand proved to me that I was wide awake.

Tohru looked cheerful, but it was now obvious that she was forcing on the expression. Yuki also had a tight hold on her hand; I could tell that he really wanted to hold her with all his heart. But seeing as he would change into the Rat, he didn't try to.

We bid the hostess and Ritsu goodbye at the front of the hot springs and headed for the van. Just as we reached it, he heard running footsteps behind us.

"Can with you?" Ritsu asked tentatively.

Kyo and Hiro winced visibly. I shot Kyo a stern look.

"I believe we have enough room," said Hatori. "Though it will be a tight fit. But I'm positive that there's room for everyone."

If there was enough room for us it didn't seem like it. It seemed like an unspoken rule that Tohru and I got seats first. Hatori directed us to sit together, then got Kisa to sit on the other side of Tohru. I knew she had wanted to sit with Yuki, but I realized that Hatori wanted the trip back home to be as uneventful as possibly. Ala, no transformations in the back.

"Oi!!!!" yelled Isuzu, who was tightly packed between Ritsu and Kyo. "You call this enough room?!"

"You're able to sit down in a seat, aren't you?" asked Hatori calmly from the front of the van. He was in the passenger seat and having a little more room than anyone else.

Isuzu scoffed and forced herself to her feet. The force of her sudden movement sent Kyo and Ritsu sprawling and hitting their heads with each other.

"OWWW!!!!!"

"OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY–"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, RIN?!?! STANDING UP SO FUCKING QUICKLY!!!!"

"OH, I'M SUCH A DISGRACE I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE–"

"Enough!!" Hatori called from the front. "Isuzu, please sit back down!!"

"Fine," scoffed Isuzu, though she didn't go back to sit in her seat. I choked on a giggle as I watched her plop herself in Haru's lap. "Okay, I'm seated!!"

Haru seemed unfazed by her action, though Hiro who was sitting next to Haru looked a little miffed.

"All right, let's go," said Hatori.

—

The snow continued to fall on the way home. Whatever humored I had felt with Isuzu's display died as we drove on. In its place was the terrible fear that had been residing inside me ever since we got to the hot spring.

I glanced at Tohru, who was sandwiched between Kisa and I though she didn't complain. She didn't even try to put on a face; her expression showed just how tired and worried she was.

I took hold of her hand. "Are you feeling all right?" it was a dumb question, considering how my feelings matched hers.

Tohru let out a soft sigh. "A little. I knew this confrontation with Akito-san was going to happen eventually. But..." she closed her eyes. "I don't want to cause more problems for the Sohma family. There's been so much tension between all of you and Akito-san...and I...it's my fault all of you get into so much trouble."

"Tohru, don't even think that way," I said firmly. "It's a blessing that you came into our family. Do you realize what our family was like before you came?"

She said nothing.

"Hardly any of us spoke to each other. At the very least the only time we'd see each other was at New Year's. But now...now that you're here with us, so much has changed. You brought both Yuu-chan and Kyo-kun out of their shells and they both started smiling again after so long. You eased the tension between Ayame-san and Yuu-chan, allowing them to have..._something_ of a brotherly relationship."

Tohru giggled a little at that.

"She's right, _Nee-chan_," said Kisa quietly. "If you hadn't come, I'd probably still be not talking to anyone."

"Yep, we're all very cheerful now that you're here!!" said Momiji brightly.

"Well, you didn't do much for me," said Isuzu off-handedly. "As it was Kagura who helped me out. But I guess I should thank you for being the cheerful id...er, girl you've always been."

"As for Akito," said Yuki, though he seemed a little pale. "You shouldn't worry too much about it. We all had tension with Akito long before you came to us, Tohru-san."

"But if he think he's locking me in that fucking house again, he's crazy," grumbled Kyo.

"Thank you, everyone," said Tohru, bowing slightly. "I consider you all to be my family. And...it frightens me, the thought of having all my precious memories erased again. When I think about it...just that day afterwards, I woke up at home as if it were a normal day, though it really wasn't. I don't want to forget, ever again."

"It won't happen," said Kyo. "There's more of us this time. And if he tries it, I'll beat the shit out of him."

I winced a little at his last comment, remembering how I had beaten Akito nearly to death.

"We'll be there soon," said Hatori. "And I think it would be wise not to attack Akito. I have no doubts that he'll be prepared for it this time around."

We all fell silent at his comment. I kept my tight hold on Tohru's hand, my stomach doing flip-flops. I glanced at Kyo, and found he was staring at me. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn't going to follow Hatori's advice. If Akito attack Tohru and me, he was going to attack. I could sense the same feeling from Yuki.

I didn't know if their tactic was wise.

—

"Welcome home," a servant greeted us politely. "Akito-sama asked me to tell all of you to go straight to him."

"I know," said Hatori. He climbed outside and waited for us.

None of us were all too eager about being home. I could see Hiro was dragging his feet, and Momiji was slow in getting out of the van. However, Kyo, Yuki, Haru, and Isuzu wore an air of confidence about them and didn't even look frightened.

I was the last one out of the van. Both Hatori and Kyo helped me out of it, and I was happy for their concern for me.

"We're here," said Hatori. "Let's go meet Akito."

It felt like an execution march; each of us being condemned criminals being led to our death. But now that we were home, I tried not to look too frightened. Kyo had his hand clamped on mine once again and I gave his a reassuring squeeze. If Akito intended on sending Kyo back into that house (whatever was left of it after Kyo blasted through the roof), then he'd have to go through me first.

When we reached Akito's house, we noticed immediately that there were two figures standing outside. One of them stood up and hurried over to us.

"Long time no see!!!" chirped Ayame cheerfully. "Did you all have fun relaxing yourselves?"

"Yes, they did," said Hatori, answering for us. Most likely to get us into Akito's house faster.

Ayame slithered over to Yuki, who had Tohru at his side. "Aww, my dear Yuki! You didn't do anything indecent to Tohru-kun, did you?!"

Yuki decked him, sending him flying.

"Um, what does he mean, indecent?" asked Tohru.

Yuki turned dark red and ducked his head.

Haru laughed aloud, drawing my attention. I'd never seen him transform into Black Haru before just out of the blue. "Oh poor dear sweet Tohru!! What Ayame means is that he's wondering if Yuki–"

Yuki decked him next. Tohru still looked confused by the conversation.

The second figure approached us. "It's been a long time, everyone."

"How is Akito's attitude, Shigure?" asked Hatori.

"Same as usual," said Shigure, smiling brightly.

"Exactly, what are you guys doing here?" asked Kyo.

Ayame recovered himself, striking a pose. "We heard a sad tale of a love denied by all; two tragic lovers who could not bear being parted from one another! History did not learn its lesson from_ Romeo and Juliet_, so we had to intervene!! How terrible would it be if we allowed our precious lovers to perish–"

"What's the real reason?" asked Yuki, ignoring his brother's speech.

"We heard from Haa-san that all of you were at the hot springs," said Shigure. "And once Akito gave the call to have you all come back, we realized that we both would be left out of the fun. So we came to see what happens."

I smiled at this. Despite their words, I knew that Ayame and Shigure came here out of concern for all of us and wanted to provide as much support as they could.

"All right," said Hatori. "Thank you, Shigure. We should all get inside and not keep Akito any longer."

"And our sweet Juliet said 'I cannot bear to'–"

"We're going inside Ayame," said Hatori. "I suggest you be quiet and not annoy Akito."

Ayame immediately stopped his story. "Of course, 'Tori-san!!"

"What an idiot," muttered both Yuki and Kyo, though I'm positive Ayame's display helped to ease some of the tension.

We didn't waste anymore time in getting inside Akito's house. I was very worried as we walked down the hall towards Akito's room. I jumped at every sound; a creak in the floor or a creak in the walls.

Kureno was waiting for us outside Akito's room. He didn't seem surprise to see all of us. "Welcome. Akito-sama is waiting for you all inside."

None of us answered him as he slid the door open and beckoned us inside.

I jumped a little as we entered, half-expecting Akito to jump out from somewhere and attack us. But he was at his usual spot, watching the snow fall outside instead of watching us. I swallowed a lump in my throat as I look in the sight of him. Despite recovering from my assault, Akito still had healing bruises on his face. They were no longer black and blue, but seemingly every other color.

"Please be seated," he said softly without looking at us.

We all started sitting down. Kyo's grip on my hand was very tight. He was glaring at Akito but stayed in a ready position; as if daring Akito to attack me.

Yuki did not sit down though. He remained standing and gently pulled Tohru to her feet as she tried to sit down.

"There's something you need to understand, Akito," said Yuki, glaring at him. I could tell this was taking all his self-control. "We may be cursed members of the Juunishi, but we are family and we are humans. I know you never liked any of us, but you need to understand that we have feelings. And your treatment of us will not be tolerated any longer."

Akito glanced at Yuki, his expression unreadable. "How very noble of you, Yuki. And very foolish of you. Your feelings do not matter when it comes to me, the Head of this family."

"I don't give a damn if my feelings matter to you. But I do want you to understand something." Yuki pulled Tohru into a half-hug, careful not to fully embrace her. "I love this girl. I've never truly loved anyone in my life, but I love her more than anything. And I'm not going to standby and let you punish her for _my _feelings. I want you to know...if you do anything to her again, whether it be abuse her or have her memories erased, then I will kill you."

Tohru was staring at Yuki, her face full of fear and admiration. "Yuki-kun..."

Akito laughed loudly. "_You_ kill _me_?! I think being around that stupid girl has made you stupid. You are incapable of hurting me in any way, Yuki. Your stay with me is proof enough. Did you ever raise a hand to me? Of course not. All you did was obediently followed my commands as you sealed away your voice. You see Yuki..." Akito smirked at him. "You're not able to take me on because you know I'd win. Why else do you dominate your much weaker opponents?"

Kyo growled and I was quick to grab his arm to prevent him flying at Akito.

Akito waved a dismissive hand at us. "I've heard enough. You're all confined to your houses until further notice. And I do mean your specific homes; I've had that shack repaired, Kyo."

Kyo stiffened, going a little pale. I quickly jumped to my feet. "Hold on, Akito!! You can't just brush us off!!"

Akito glanced at me, but said nothing.

"Look at us!! You always talk about how we Juunishi cause you nothing but pain. But think of our pain!! We've suffered right along with you!! All we ask for is relief from the pain!!"

Akito glance turned into a glance. "What pain? What makes you think that your suffering parallels mine?!"

"I guess you beating the shit out of me on a daily basis and making me break up with Haru doesn't count for pain," Isuzu growled, standing up.

Kyo stood up next to me. "Doesn't being condemned for your whole life count as suffering?!"

"I lost my family," said Momiji softly, standing up as well. "Doesn't that count for suffering?"

Slowly, everyone stood up and told their ills. Except for Hatori, though he did stand up.

"I can't be silent any longer," he said. "As the family doctor, I realized the pain that you have gone through. But that doesn't merit making other people's lives worse."

"I suffered from cancer!!!" I said, having waited for everyone to speak. Tears were flowing from my eyes. "And I suffered from a coma!! I know what it feels like to wonder if I'll ever see sunshine again or whether or I'll wake up from a nap!! It's terrifying, and it's painful!! I suffered Akito!! We all did!! Why can't you see that?!"

Akito was silent as we spoke. When we finished he spoke again.

"None of you have ever talked back to me," he said softly. He turned a murderous glare to Tohru. "You bitch!!! You turned them all against me!!"

"Tohru didn't turn us against you," said Kyo. "_You_ did."

Akito jumped to his feet and some of us took a step back. "You stupid fucking bitch!! You've destroyed _MY _family!! You stupid outsider, I should have had your memories erased at day one!!!"

Yuki stepped in front of Tohru. "It's a fucking _blessing_ that she came to know us!!! She saved us all from fading into the darkness, Akito!!!! I'm thankful _every single day_ that I got to know Tohru-san!!!!! And I'm warning you; you better not touch her!!!"

Akito seemed the most offended that Yuki was daring to stand against him.

"I really don't care," said Akito. "My word is law. And I expect you all to obey me." He looked straight at Kyo. "I think I'll start the slaughter by tying you up in that house."

I stepped in front of Kyo in a similar fashion that Yuki had stepped in front of Tohru.

"If you even try that Akito, you'll have to go through me," I snapped. "No matter if I'm recovering; I'll give you more colorful bruises to go with the ones on your face!!!"

Akito glared murderously at me. Though I had no intention of attacking him again, I was ready to defend Kyo.

"Then I'll send you into another coma," said Akito. "Only this time I'll do so much damage that you'll be kindeyless."

I felt Kyo's arms slide around me from behind. "If you try that again Akito, then I'll join that Damn Rat in killing you."

"I'll shield Kagura again!!" added Momiji, his usual cheerful attitude completely gone.

Silence followed this. It broke when Hatori spoke up.

"You know I'm loyal to you Akito," he said softly. "I've been loyal to you all these years, even through the worst times. But this time...I cannot allow you to hurt these children. I made an oath to myself that I would shield them from the kind of pain I suffered. So far, I haven't kept this oath, but now...now I am. If you intend on causing more pain, then I'm afraid I can't stand by you."

Akito seemed a little stunned by Hatori's speech. I realized that it probably wasn't the first time Hatori spoke against him, but I knew that it was the first time Hatori threatened him.

Akito laughed a little, running a hand through his hair. "Wow...this is truly unprecedented. Never have I had so many Sohma's stand against me. But...my word still is law. And though I cannot come up with a suitable punishment for all of you at the moment, you still have to follow me. And I say this."

He glared at all of us. "All of you leave right now, except for Kagura and Honda Tohru. I want to have a word with the both of you."

The next chapter is the final chapter. Have a Happy New Year!


	24. Part 24

1I would like to thank everyone for continuing to read and support this fanfic. I've taken all your reviews to heart and it makes me feel good knowing that my work is taken seriously by everyone. Well, I'll stop here; go on ahead and enjoy the final chapter of 'Realism'.

Part 24

There was a long silence that followed Akito's declaration. I didn't even know how to respond to it.

Was he seriously going to talk to Tohru and I? Or was he going to kill us?

Everyone else seemed to be thinking the same thing I was thinking. They were looking at Akito with a mixture of worry and defiance.

"Didn't any of you hear me?!" Akito barked. "All of you get out expect Honda and Kagura!!"

"We're not leaving them alone with _you_," snapped Kyo, his hold on me tightening slightly. "I have a vague idea as to what you want to do."

"I'm the head of this fucking family!!! And if I say I want to talk to someone, then I talk to them!! I'll have no more of your defiance!!!"

"We aren't leaving them alone with you," said Yuki, trying to shield Tohru behind him.

Tohru, however, stepped out from behind Yuki. "If that is what you want, Akito-san, then it shall be done."

"Tohru-san!!" exclaimed Yuki, staring at her horrified. Everyone else shared his reaction, including me.

"If Akito-san wants to talk to Kagura-chan and I seriously, then I can't refuse him," Tohru said firmly. "No problems can be solved by arguments and fighting. I'm fairly certain that some form of understanding can be brought to the surface if we talk."

I sighed softly, shaking my head. Tohru was facing the person who forced her memories to be erased, and she wanted to be sincere?

But I couldn't argue with her. Look at what fighting had gotten me in the past. Maybe talking would help things out.

Maybe.

"I agree with Tohru," I said. I got the same looks from everyone. "If Akito wants to talk, then we should talk. I don't want to fight anyone."

This was met with vocal protests. Nobody wanted to leave us alone with Akito. I understood how they felt; I wasn't exactly comfortable being in the same room with Akito with Tohru as my only ally. But Tohru did have a point; none of this could be solved by continually defying him.

"Please," Tohru said to Yuki, her eyes pleading. "We'll be all right. I'm sure once we have everything out in the open, we can come to some form of agreement."

Yuki scoffed. "We aren't leaving you two alone!"

I was trying to reason with Kyo as well. But since Kyo had slimmer patience than Yuki, it was harder for me.

"If he tries anything, I'll just beat him up," I hissed to him. "I did it before!!"

"He'll be expecting that!!" Kyo barked, though he kept his voice low too. "I don't want to think about what he'll do if you try it!!"

It took us twenty minutes to convince everyone to leave us with Akito. He made no attempts to stop or aide us; he just sat there watching us. But after the twenty minutes, Hatori conceded and told everyone to leave.

"If anything happens, we'll come right back," Yuki told Tohru as he was pushed towards the door.

"If he pulls anything, just tell me," Kyo told me. "I'll give him hell for it."

"Thank you," I said sincerely.

Finally, everyone left and Tohru and I were alone with Akito.

"Right," said Akito, rubbing his hands together. "Right to the point. I asked for you two because when it comes down to your punishments you'll both be receiving the worst ones. So I'm giving you the time to talk."

"You can't punish Tohru!!" I exclaimed, taking a seat next to her. "She's not a Sohma!!"

"Oh, and here I thought you all had accepted her as part of the family."

"That's–"

"Akito-san," Tohru interrupted quietly. "Never once had I ever intended any ill will towards you. At least, as much as I can remember from the memories I have recollected. I _do_ remember our talk after Kyo-kun's transformation. I said that as long as we live we should live to live and not live to die. Do you remember?"

Akito was silent for a long moment before he said, "I remember."

"I meant it. We've all suffered so terribly all our lives–

Fury leapt into Akito's eyes. "How dare you compare your _suffering _to mine!!"

"My father died when I was little. My mother died recently and I love her very much. My family spent her funeral arguing over who would take me in. I lived in a tent by myself so I wouldn't bother others." tears welled up in her eyes. "I don't ever talk about the pain I've endured, but that doesn't mean it's not there. I understand your pains, Akito-san. But to think that we all live comfortably while you suffer is a poor misconception."

"Shut up, you stupid bitch!!" Akito roared, jumping to his feet. "What the fuck do you know about anything?!"

"If you'd listen to her, then you'd see she's making perfect sense!!" I cried, putting an arm in front of Tohru. "I know the pain too!!! Do you think that when I suffered from cancer that I always thought pleasant, fluffy thoughts?! No!!! 'If I sleep will I wake up?' 'What if the cancer spreads?' 'What if I wake up during surgery?' 'What if it's worse than Hatori had thought?' These feelings ran through my head _every single day!!!!_ I was so afraid of what would happen I thought I would go crazy!!! Dying is scary, but my will to live kept me going!!!"

Akito said nothing to this. He turned away from us and walked to the back of the room. "Stupid, pathetic little girls. Trying to play the hero. Ah well..." He slid his hand under a cushion and pulled out a sheathed sword. "I do not reward defiance and stupidity."

I said at the sword, a chilling fear creeping over me. I wanted to scream for help; call for Kyo-kun or someone to come. But no sound came from my throat.

Tohru was silent beside me and my first thought was that she was as frightened as I was. But when I saw the expression on her face, my fear grew. Never had I'd seen such a complicated expression; I couldn't read it.

Akito turned to us, his grip on the sword so tight his knuckles were turning white. "You two are going to find out how truly frightening it is to cross me."

He unsheathed the blade. I yelped and drew back. Tohru however moved forward. I thought she was going to reason with Akito until I saw how terribly she was shaking. Her expression was now full of confusion and fear. She stared at the sword with the widest eyes I had ever seen.

"Akito-san," she breathed, her voice barely audible. "Please...put away the sword. No...Hatori-san, don't–"

I looked around the room, but Hatori wasn't there. Why was she talking to him when he wasn't there?

"Stop...don't hurt them. Yuki-kun, there's so much blood..."

I was completely baffled by Tohru's behavior. Akito seemed just as surprised at how she was acting.

"No, we can't...I don't want to trouble...Hatori-san can take them all away if it'll help everyone."

I realized that she wasn't speaking to us directly. She was reliving the awful memory of the night Hatori erased her memories. I remembered the bandage Hatori had on his chest from Akito's blow when Hatori tried to stop him.

"Tohru?" I asked worriedly, reaching out to touch her shoulder.

Upon my simple touch Tohru threw back her head and let out a loud wail. It terrified me beyond words. Was this suppose to be a good thing or bad thing?

The wail only lasted a few seconds though it seemed longer. Then her eyes slid closed and she fell against me. I caught her unconscious body, shocked by what just happened. Her being unconscious now left me alone with an armed, very angry Akito.

Akito straightened and pointed the sword at us. "So the dumb air head seems to remember a few things. Not that it will do her any good, once I slice her face to pieces and have Hatori wipe her entire memory clean."

I lay Tohru on the floor and stood up. "That's enough, Akito. No more hatred."

"Who are you to–"

"I understand about your pains and your woes. Given the environment in which you lived, it's no wonder that you lashed out at us, the Juunishi. But Tohru was right. Right now we're alive. And because we're alive we should think only of living and not dying."

Akito pointed the sword dangerously at me. "This curse I call an existence isn't living!!!"

"And what about us? Cursed to be unable to hug someone of the opposite sex without turning into an animal? It's a painful thing to deal with, especially if you love someone so much but can't hug them. No one has the perfect life. We're living breathing examples."

"You–"

I boldly grabbed the blade pointed at me and pointed it to above my heart. "If killing one of us will help appease the pain you've felt, then by all means take mine. But I can't let you hurt anyone else. This isn't some game where our actions can be taken back; this is real life and we're family. All of us, Tohru included. And though we have differing opinions, we've always had your best interests in mind. Mostly Tohru."

Tohru gave a half-moan behind me, slowly coming back to awareness. I didn't let go of the blade, but I moved so Akito could see her. "Look at her, Akito. All she has ever done is think about the well-being of others. She loves and cares about everyone she meets. You too, Akito. Why else would she agree to speak with you?"

Akito stared at Tohru with an unreadable expression.

"We all feel the same way too. We all have different feelings for you, but we honestly care."

Akito snorted, poking me with the tip of the sword. "You all can't wait 'till I die."

"We do care, Akito. But enough is enough. There is only so much we can all take. All this hatred and pain...it has to end somehow. You may be sick, but you managed to live this long, haven't you? Who knows, you might be still alive twenty years from now. But to keep yourself in this darkness and to try to suck us into it isn't right. So if you need to vent, do it on me. But you leave Tohru and the others alone. My pain could never rival theirs, and they deserve to truly live."

Akito said nothing, but still stayed steady with the sword. I still had it boldly pointed at my chest. I didn't want to die, but I couldn't take any more of this. No more tip-toeing around Akito. No more fears of attacks or actions. That wasn't living.

But Kyo, Yuki, and everyone else had lives so much worse than mine. The cancer was terrible, but I had everyone's support and Mom's love. I didn't have as much right to complain as they did.

A hand came over mine and gently moved the blade away. Akito made no move to counter the action.

"No, Kagura-chan," said Tohru, having recovered. "No one should die because of this. We all deserve to live."

She turned to Akito. "Akito-san, I genuinely love all the Sohmas. Even after everything that's happened, my love hasn't faltered. I want all the Sohmas to live happily and peacefully, yourself included. I know that living must be so hard for you. But venting and believing in death isn't the way to do it. Instead, you should talk about your problems. And not just some of them; all of your problems should be told. It may reopen old wounds, but some wounds need to bleed. If you ever, ever need anything I'll always listen to you."

It was strange hearing this from Tohru, considering how she hid her feelings to not worry others. But as I watched her, I saw tears slide down her face though she was smiling. She opened her arms wide and approached Akito.

Akito raised the sword. "Don't you come near me!!"

But Tohru only pushed aside the sword and embraced Akito around the neck. Akito was too stunned to do anything and so was I.

"I know how hard it can be to shield yourself," said Tohru, her voice breaking. "How difficult it is to hide everything. Sometimes it hurts so much that its hard to breath and you feel like you're being suffocated. And sometimes it can be a good thing. But sometimes...opening yourself positively can be a blessing. No matter how much it hurts, in the end it can prove most useful. But believing in death, hurting everyone around you...that's not living. Living is seeing through your days with a positive feeling. Living is acknowledging your fears and your pains. Living is seeing the life that's in this world and not the death. You should try to live, Akito-san. You'll probably grow healthier and not be so angry all the time."

Akito was shaking, but I had no idea if it was from anger or grief. The sword was trembling violently in his arms and I had a sinking fear that he would drive it through Tohru's back. I even approached them hesitantly when he lifted the sword slightly. But my fears were driven away when he let go of the hilt, allowing the sword to fall to the floor.

Then he raised his arms, but not to return Tohru's embrace. He quickly shoved her away and I caught as the sudden motion nearly knocked her off her feet.

Akito turned away from us and walked to the other side of the room. When he spoke again, he wasn't looking at us.

"Do whatever you want."

Excitement and relief washed over me. Do whatever we want? Did that mean we all got off scot-free?

Tohru voiced her concerns. "Do you mean that we–"

"What the fuck do you think it means?! Besides, I'm not in any mood to punish anyone right now."

Tohru straightened and bowed deeply to Akito. "Thank you, Akito-san."

I bowed too. "Yes, thank you Akito."

"Just get the hell out of my house. I don't want to see either of you here again or else I'll punish Yuki and Kyo."

I grabbed Tohru's hand. "Let's go tell everyone!!"

Tohru nodded and looked at Akito. "Remember, I'm always available if you need to talk to anyone!!"

Akito said nothing to this. Tohru and I hurried out of the room.

I was truly relieved and happy. I was afraid that Kyo would have to go back into isolation. I knew if Akito attempted it I would really kill him. But I was glad we came to a compromise without bloodshed.

"We need to find everyone," said Tohru, pushing open the front door.

We didn't have to look long. Everyone was standing outside Akito's house, all wanting answers.

"It's okay!!" I told them. "He said we can do whatever we want!!"

Several of the Juunishi let out loud cheers. There were many 'POOF's as people hugged Tohru. I couldn't help but laugh at the spectacle. It wasn't the first time all of us were grouped together, but it was really nice to see everyone happy.

"Is everything really okay?" asked Kyo cautiously. "We heard Tohru scream a little while ago, but Hatori stopped us from going to see what happened."

I smiled at him. "Yes, everything's fine. And Tohru's fine too; she was just remembering a few things in there."

Kyo sighed in relief. "That's good."

I looked at Tohru, who was hugging Yuki in his Rat form tightly. "Are you all right with this?"

Kyo waved a hand. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm over it anyways; I don't really appreciate Yuki beating me all the time, but this time I'm kinda glad he won."

I pulled him into a tight hug. "Me too. And we all got our own happy ending too."

—

With Akito no longer interfering in the Juunishis' affairs, everyone seemed to have a much easier time. Well, we could all stop acting like we were under a microscope.

Isuzu wasn't convinced that Akito had backed off and was always on her guard at the Sohma House. I didn't like the idea of her never having a moment's rest and I voiced this to her two weeks after Akito backed off.

"It's no problem," said Isuzu, sipping her tea calmly. "I'll never trust anything that bastard says. I've never been on his good side and he'll never be on mine. Not that it matters."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"If you think I'm going to be sticking around here for the rest of my life, then you're crazy. I'm going back to Akita."

My chest tightened. While I was happy that Isuzu was going to be in control of her life, the thought of her being so far away was disheartening. Our relationship didn't start off on the right foot, but overtime we became almost like sisters.

"Are you sure?" I asked softly.

Isuzu ran a hand through her hair. "I'm sorry to spring it on you so suddenly, but yes I'm positively sure. It wasn't easy living, but I've grown fond of the city and it made me feel so free. There, I didn't feel like a Sohma or the Horse. I just felt like myself. How could I not want to go back?"

I nodded, understanding her perspective of this. After everything she went through in her life, she deserved as much happiness as she could get. And staying at the Sohma House would not make her happy.

"When will you go back?" I asked, resigned to her decision.

"Not for a while," she said sullenly. "I wanted to go back right away, but I want Haru to finish school. He wants to live with me again and I have to admit living with him made my freedom even better. So I'm holding out here until he graduates."

"Isuzu, Haru doesn't graduate for a few years."

"I know that. But I'm willing to hold out until then."

I smiled at that. "I'm glad to see how good your relationship is with him again."

Isuzu turned her head away. "Yeah yeah, don't go sentimental on me."

I laughed, feeling happy at her sincere embarrassment.

Both Yuki and Kyo loosened up a lot with the threat of Akito gone. As I was still in recovery I didn't see a lot of them, but Shigure always talked about how "floaty" they had become, though they were still prone to fights.

Then again, there was still the underlying fear of Kyo being thrown back into isolation. Akito said he no longer cared, but he didn't say Kyo's fate was overturned. I was willing to defend him, stitches or no stitches. But I certainly didn't want to face off against Akito in front of Kyo's school.

I tried not to focus on this as I finally put my full focus on my long recovery. This notion greatly pleased Hatori and Mom, who didn't want me to further prolong my recovery. Of course, I took breaks from time to time to go on dates with Kyo. He seemed to be completely over Tohru, and seemed happy when he saw her with Yuki.

I have to admit, my overall recovery didn't like such a long time to me. The two years seemed like a blur to me. I was having so much fun, I didn't know the time going by.

So when Hatori revealed that he would be taking my stitches out soon, I was shocked. I couldn't believe so much time had passed.

"The recovery faze is complete," said Hatori, shaking his head at me though he wore a small smile. "I've spoken with your mother and she knows too. I'm going to be taking out your stitches in a few days."

This news made me more than happy. "I'll be able to attend Kyo-kun, Yun-chan, and Tohru's graduation ceremony without stitches!!"

"I know. I think you'll be in top shape for it."

This made me remember the promise I made to Hatori. "What day are you available? I promised to treat you to something once my recovery was complete!!"

Hatori raised his hands. "I told you that it wasn't necessary Kagura–"

I grabbed his arm in a firm grip. "Please don't argue with me."

Hatori sighed, defeated. "I see your strength is returning to you too..."

—

On the day my stitches were to be removed, I was filled with a lot of elation. The thought of the end of my recovery being so close was wonderful. Kyo and the others showed up to offer support, but Hatori bluntly told them that only Mom was allowed to be with me at the hospital.

_Wait, hospital?_ was my instant thought.

Then Hatori told me all the details of the removal of the stitches, and my elation shrank a little. I had thought he would remove them at his office. I never expected to find myself at the hospital again.

"This is standard procedure," said Hatori reassuringly. "Removing stitches like yours requires a lot of delicacy. And since we did the surgery through the back, you have to be put under mandatory 23-hour surveillance."

"Why?" I asked, slightly dismayed.

"In case your spinal cord has a bad reaction. Though the surgery site wasn't near your spinal cord, there's no guarantee that it won't be affected. Side effects happen within a 23-hour time frame, so we need to monitor patients during this time. Generally nurses do this for doctors, but I'll be doing it myself to avoid complications."

I never thought of the chance my spinal cord might be damaged. The last thing I needed was to be paralyzed because of my cancer operation. So I put up no further complaints as Hatori set to work removing my stitches.

Before he started Mom took hold my hand. Moments later I was glad she did when I heard a click and a sting of pain.

"Try not to move, Kagura," said Hatori, not hesitating in his task. "I know it hurts, but it'll be over with soon."

I'd felt worse pains before, but it was still very uncomfortable. Both the stinging, and the clicks Hatori made with whatever he was using. But Mom held onto my hand the whole time, though she was pale. Though she stared down at me and offered me encouraging smiles, her gaze kept wandering to my back.

Finally Hatori said, "The stitches are out. Now for the sterri strips."

I raised my head. "Sterri strips?"

"Just paper stitches. They'll fall off in a few days, but at the moment they're needed in your back."

I sagged against the table, feeling disappointed. I wasn't quite off the hook yet.

Though he said 'stitches' it didn't feel like he was sewing them in. More like applying them to my back.

Then he said, "We're done now."

Mom helped me sit up and Hatori came around to face me. "Congratulations on a successful recovery, Kagura."

"As successful as it would be," I said with some guilt.

"You made it through, and that's what counts. My only precaution is that you not touch the sterri strips. They'll fall out, but on their own. Don't force them off."

I nodded. Before Hatori could move, I caught him in a hug. "Thank you so much for everything, Hatori. At least let me spoil you with something tomorrow."

"All right, all right," said Hatori. He sound irritated, but his hands came up to return my embrace. "Just don't do anything too crazy for a while, okay?"

I didn't look forward to staying a night in the hospital, considering the amount of time I'd spent there before. But the time went by quicker than I had expected. In the blink of an eye I was getting ready to go home and meeting a relieve Hatori who told Mom and me with visible relief that there was no negative side effects to my spine.

"I'm guessing that everyone's waiting for us back at the Sohma House," said Hatori as he drove us home. "Don't do anything too reckless, okay?"

"Okay," I said, smiling.

Unfortunately for Hatori, I didn't quite keep my promise. Once we arrived home, we were greeted by all the Juunishi and Tohru. They were all happy to see that I was all right and that my recovery was over. I greeted them all sweetly, forcing myself to stay calm.

But when my eyes fell upon Kyo, a familiar feeling crept over me. I felt a familiar smile creep over me and I let out a prolonged cry.

"**_KYO-KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**"

From the expression on Kyo's face, he knew what was coming. But he really didn't try to run away as I charged at him.

My mind drew a blank, much like it always did in this state. I heard soft conversations around me, but it was Hatori's voice that drew me back.

"I told her not to go crazy like this..."

I immediately stopped, staring at Hatori. "I'm so sorry!! I couldn't help myself!!"

"Does your back hurt?"

"No, not really..."

"Then there's no problem. But do try to restrain yourself until the sterri strips fall out."

"Speaking of restraints," said Shigure, pointing. "Shouldn't you be letting Kyo-kun go?"

I looked down to see Kyo sporting a black eye and in a headlock. My headlock.

"Oh no!!!! I'm so sorry Kyo-kun!!!!!!!!"

"gggggg-hgggggg," was Kyo's response.

"Well, at least you're back to your old self Kagura," said Hiro, snorting a little.

Later, I was still apologizing to Kyo who was nursing a bloody nose.

"I said forget it," said Kyo, giving me a look. "I expected this when your recovery ended."

That didn't really make me feel better. "I really am sorry. I'm so use to be careful with myself, it just happened unexpectedly."

"I've grown use to it, Kagura. You wouldn't be you without those rages. Just please keep them to a minimum?"

I hugged him, though as gently as I could. "I'll try."

—

Luck was on my side. I was able to keep control of my rampages to some extent (Kyo suffered for it twice more). I was able to treat Hatori to something, though not a fancy dinner at a restaurant. He was quite happy at the mini buffet I bought for him thought.

Not to mention my sterri stitches fell out naturally just in time for the graduation ceremony.

I dressed my best for the day and dug out an old friend; the cat bag I had always worn up to my rejection from Kyo.

"Hello there, little guy," I said softly, shaking it out. "I thought I'd never carry you around again. But now I have Kyo-kun, so I don't think he'll mind to see you again."

Since I had fully recovered, I intended to walk to Kyo's school. But to my own surprise, I was greeted by Isuzu and Shigure when I left my room, both dressed nicely.

"Shigure had the idea of going to the ceremony together with the remaining Juunishi," said Isuzu, trying not to smile.

"The rest?" I asked.

"Yuki-kun, Kyo-kun, and Tohru-kun went to school early," said Shigure. "To my understanding Momiji and Haru went to school with them. And Hatori said he'd be there, but a little late. So I thought we should all walk up together."

"That's a great idea!!" I exclaimed, clapping my hands together. Then I looked at Isuzu. "But didn't you want to go with Haru?"

"It's not like it's his graduation. Besides, Yuki and that dumb girl have been acting lovey-dovey; it's too sappy for me."

"Ah, but young love is cute!!" said Shigure. "You two should know, after all."

I blushed at that. Isuzu gave Shigure a dirty look.

It wasn't too long afterwards that we were all heading to the school. Shigure wasn't kidding; practically all the Juunishi were all with us! We were having a good time walking too; Ayame kept going about these banners that said stuff like 'Hooray Kyokichi-kun' and 'I luv my Yuki' and 'Shine Princess Tohru-kun'. I didn't know if he had banners like that on him, but that definitely sounded like something he would do. Thought Kyo and Yuki wouldn't be too happy about it.

We reached the school to find it full of cheerful activity. There were a lot of parents there, each looking exceptionally pleased. We didn't hesitate to head into the auditorium; even if we were having fun it was necessary to avoid incidents.

Momiji waved us over to some seats near the students. They were good seats, and I could see everyone. Tohru said perched on the edge of her seat nervously. Close by a girl with braids was speaking to her calmly.

On another row I saw Kyo. He looked quite edgy, though he disguised it with annoyance. In another row a blonde-haired girl was throwing bits of paper at him. He tried to ignore it but then he turned around and yelled at her.

On the stage sat Yuki in one of the chairs. I had an idea that he was the elected speaker for the class, though he looked nervous. Ayame was literally glowing at seeing Yuki. Apparently his glee was so overwhelming that he couldn't stop himself from jumping up and screaming, "YUUUUKI!!!!!!!"

Heads turned at this. Yuki hid his face in his hand in embarrassment. Tohru seemed a little more relieved at Ayame's outburst. Kyo briefly glanced over at us and I took the opportunity to wave at him. Just as he raised a hand to wave at me, a spit ball caught him in the face.

Before he could act though, the principal came forward and delivered the opening speech. Though it seemed like he had given the speech a hundred times, he seemed enthusiastic about the graduation.

Then came Yuki's speech. He looked really out of place, but looked determined.

"There always comes a time in your life when you come to a crossroad," he said, his voice calm. "There's a path you want to venture down and a path others want you to venture down. Only you can decide your own fate. And as you decide which path to go on, think to yourself the decisions you've made in life.

"Whether you've made smart decisions or regretful decisions, the overall outcome is what affects you the most; molds you into the person you want to be. Think about the person you want to be; the person you want to be for the person whom you want to spend your life with."

His eyes wandered over in Tohru's direction. "Everyone has different goals. And we all will achieve them in various means. But we should never forget the people we've always been and will become. Most importantly, we should never forget about those who love us and want us to succeed. It is these people that we should strive for, and it is these people who will offer us the most support. And so, I wish you all the best of luck in your lives. Live well and love well. Thank you."

Yuki bowed to the audience. There was a thunderous applause, and many students cheered. Several gave him a standing ovation; Tohru was one of those who stood up and I could see her wiping tears from her eyes.

"Impressive," said Ayame, also standing. "Though he should've consulted me about his speech. Very heartfelt, but a little too short. I could've helped him; after all, I too was the elected speaker for my graduation."

"Hatori said your speech was slightly inappropriate and a half hour long," said Haru while clapping. "Yuki did fine."

It took a while for the crowd to calm down. I waited patiently for the commotion to quiet.

It was then that I realized Isuzu's attention was elsewhere.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Look behind us, back row," she said darkly.

I squinted amongst the happy faces to see to the back row. What I saw froze the blood in my veins.

Akito was seated there, with Hatori sitting on one side and Kureno on the other.

Why was he here? To see the graduation? Or was it about Kyo?

I glanced at Kyo, who hadn't noticed Akito. He seemed irritated by all the commotion Yuki was getting, but was also neutral. Was Akito here to take him?

Some teachers gave speeches, but I barely heard them. I found myself glancing over at Akito repeatedly. He didn't glance in my direction; his own gaze diverted from Yuki to Kyo over and over again. That made me feel very worried, overshadowing my excitement at the graduation.

It wasn't too long before they started handing out diplomas. I tried to ignore Akito and focus on the ceremony, but my worry was consuming me. I didn't want Akito to hurt Kyo. But with so many people around and the reality that I could change...it was frightening.

"Hanajima, Saki," called the principal. The girl with braids who had spoken to Tohru earlier went up to receive her diploma. The applause for her was tentative, though Tohru and the blonde girl were cheering. She accepted her diploma and sent a strange look at the audience. Several students jumped, as if expecting her to attack.

"Honda, Tohru," called the principal. We all waited as Tohru went up to receive her diploma. We all knew how much this meant to Tohru; she was so adamant about keeping her promise to her mother to graduate from high school and here she was, keeping her promise. As she headed to the principal, Yuki stood up from his seat and quickly shook her hand. I couldn't help but laugh at some of the stony expressions on some of the girls' faces; he hadn't done that for anyone else.

As she accepted her diploma, we all broke out in cheers. The noise volume we caused startled her, and she smiled shyly at us.

"Yay, Tohru!!!!" cried Momiji, jumping up and down.

"_Nee-chan!!_" called Kisa shyly, waving.

"Yeah, yeah," muttered Hiro, not exactly pleased to see how much praise Kisa was giving Tohru.

"Let's hope she doesn't trip on stage," said Isuzu, turning her attention away from Akito for a moment. Sure enough, she stumbled a little as she left the stage.

I was a little surprised to see the same reaction in many of the students. It seemed like they were just as happy as us that Tohru graduate. She was wiping tears from her eyes as she went back to sit down.

It was a long wait through the students before it came to Kyo and Yuki's turn. This was having me jump in my seat. While I was excited about Tohru, seeing Kyo accept his diploma was filling me with adrenaline.

"Sohma, Kyo," called the principal. Several of the students were already starting to cheer as Kyo went up to receive his diploma. But it wasn't until it was in his hands did we react. I jumped to my feet and cheered, clapping enthusiastically for him. Several of the Juunishi followed my lead and cheered too. In fact, many students were doing the same thing.

"Great job, Kyon-Kyon!!" called one of the boys.

Kyo growled at him as he took his seat.

"Kyon-Kyon?" questioned Ayame as we sat back down. "Hmm..." he pulled out a pen and wrote something down. "I was thinking that Kyokichi-kun was becoming a hassle to say..."

"Either way he'll find it annoying," pointed out Shigure, who seemed pleased in his own merit.

Before the principal called for Yuki, I managed a glance at Akito again. I didn't like the expression he was wearing. It was like he was up to something, but was obviously hiding it.

"Sohma, Yuki," called the principal. The reaction was thunderous, just as much as there was for his speech. He looked very embarrassed by the response, but accepted his diploma gratefully.

We all cheered for Yuki as well, but Ayame upstaged us all. Just as Yuki accepted his diploma, he jumped up and started waving a banner that said, "Love is the beacon of guidance, Yuki!!!"

What did that have to do with graduation? Well, it seemed like the banner(s) he was talking about was just one banner.

If Yuki saw the banner, he tried his hardest to ignore it. But considering how big it was and how close we were to the stage, it was near impossible to miss it.

The graduation progressed normally through the students. I kept sneaking glances over at Akito to find he still had that strange expression on his face. What the hell was he planning?

"Uotani, Arisa," called the principal. I had been looking at Akito when they called this name and I saw Kureno visibly flinch. I quickly turned back around to see the same blonde haired girl who was annoying Kyo go up to accept her diploma. Tohru was cheering loudly for her and she flashed a peace sign at Tohru.

I glanced back at Kureno, who seemed to be struggling to keep a neutral expression and then looked back at the girl. What was going on there?

But I didn't have much time to think about it. It wasn't too long afterwards that the ceremony ended and the room filled with loud cheers.

"We should wait along the walls and not rush them," said Isuzu. "No telling what will happen if we–"

"YUKI!!!!!" cried Ayame, jumping through the crowd over to him. "Wonderful job!!"

"If he changes, it's not our fault," muttered Hiro. The rest of us pressed ourselves against the wall, waiting patiently for the crowd to thin out. About fifteen minutes later it thinned out enough for us to walk over to the graduates safely.

"Can't you _ever_ go a day without embarrassing us?!?!" Kyo growled at Ayame.

"Oh, but it was such a nice banner," said Tohru tentatively. "He was just trying to give Yuki-kun advice."

"I'll never live this down," said Yuki, hiding his face.

"Ah, but love is the beacon of life!!!" said Ayame in a voice so loud it echoed over the activity in the auditorium. "A man who refuses to love is not a man at all!!! Love is the guidance of the soul!! Of course, you all are quite familiar with this–"

Both Kyo and Yuki punched him sky high.

I took my chance with Ayame gone. "Kyo-kun!!!"

Kyo seemed to brace himself as I launched myself at him, nearly tackling him with a powerful hug. I was getting better at controlling my emotions, but I couldn't help but feel excited for Kyo.

"T-Thanks, Kagura," he gurgled under my strong hug.

"Aw, does Kyon-Kyon have a girlfriend?" asked the blonde girl, snickering. "You don't let any other girls hug you!!"

I let go of him to introduce myself. "I'm Sohma Kagura, nice to meet you."

"Uotani Arisa," said the blonde girl. "But I'm mostly called Uo-chan."

"Hanajima Saki," said the girl with braids. "But Tohru calls me Hana-chan."

She suddenly perked up and gave me an intense look. "I sense something amiss about you. Were you taken with illness recently?"

I stared stunned at her. "Um, yes. How did you know?"

Before she could respond, there was a voice behind us. "Excellent job, Kyo."

I quickly turned around. "Shishou!! I didn't know you came!!"

Shishou smiled at me. "I'm glad to see you in good health, Kagura."

"Yeah, you too!!"

Shishou then directed his attention to Kyo. "Can I speak with you for a second?"

Kyo waved a hand. "Fine."

"Is he a Sohma too?" asked Uo. "Is he Kyon-Kyon's dad?"

"So what if he is?!" growled Kyo, storming off with Shishou. For a brief instant I saw a warm expression cross Shishou's face as he turned to go with Kyo.

"It's good he's here," said Tohru, smiling sweetly. "I didn't know he was here and I don't think any of us could see him earlier. Kyo-kun was a little disappointed."

"Akito's here," said Isuzu out of the blue.

Yuki and Tohru stiffened. Several of the other Juunishi reacted the same way, though I had expected they wouldn't have seen him. On such a happy occasion you don't go looking for someone you try not to cross.

"Who?" asked Uo, looking around.

"Over there," said Haru calmly, nudging toward the back. Akito, Kureno and Hatori were all still sitting there. Hatori was smoking a cigarette and Kureno was avoiding looking at us, but Akito was staring straight at us.

"Oh dear," said Tohru, looking slightly worried. She clutched her diploma to her chest.

Hana perked up again. "I sense a great sadness...from that girl..."

I glanced at her. Who was she talking about?

Uo said nothing, but wore a stunned expression. I had an idea of who she was looking at, but it didn't seem possible. I mean, Kureno didn't get out very much did he? It didn't seem possible that Uo and him would meet.

Yuki grabbed Tohru's arm. "We need to leave. Kagura, can you go get Kyo?"

"Leave?" asked Tohru. "What if Akito-san came here to congratulate us?"

"Doubtful," said Isuzu, glaring at Akito.

"If you leave, Akito will see you," said Hiro softly. "He's looking right at us."

"What will you do, _Nee-chan_?" asked Kisa.

Shigure sighed. "I'll go speak to Haa-san. All of you stay here until I get back."

We watched him go. An uncomfortable silence followed, until Tohru's friends broke it.

"What exactly is going on?" asked Uo, finally looking away from Kureno.

"Nothing you need to worry about," said Momiji sincerely.

"That girl is very sad indeed," said Hana.

"I'm going to go find Kyo-kun," I said, looking around. "He doesn't know Akito's here."

I left before anyone could say anything else. I knew that they were outside, so I left the auditorium. There were still a lot of people outside, but I made sure to be very careful as I wove through the crowd looking for Kyo and Shishou.

I found them in a secluded area. They were talking, though I couldn't hear the conversation. Kyo wore a very excited expression on his face and Shishou still had his warm expression. I was tempted to run over and strangle Kyo with a hug, but I pushed the feeling down. We were in a serious situation and I needed to be serious.

I did reach them in record time, though. "Kyo-kun, we have to go. Akito's here."

Kyo's excited face immediately turned sour. "What the hell does he want? He doesn't..." His voice trailed off.

"I don't know," I said sadly. "All I know is he came with Hatori and Kureno."

"I'm sure if you two leave, it will only anger Akito-sama," said Shishou, looking a little worried.

"Then what should we do?" I asked. "He showed up for a reason, didn't he? While it's a nice thought to think that he came just for the graduation, I know he has ulterior motives. He always does!!"

Shishou turned to Kyo. "What do you want to do, Kyo?"

Kyo's shoulders slumped. I knew he never wanted to go back into isolation. It wasn't clear why Akito came, but the way he was looking at Kyo during the ceremony...I didn't like it.

Kyo took my hand. "We're going back to the auditorium."

Ice shot through me. "What? Why?"

"Because I'm not about to run away from Akito," he hissed. "I'm not going to let that bastard one-up me. I'm not running away. Whatever he wants I'm going to see. No running."

I knew I couldn't argue with him. I didn't want him to go back to isolation, but he didn't want to run away. I couldn't just shrug off his feelings. "...All right. Let's go see what he wants."

We went back to the auditorium, his grip still on my hand. I didn't know if it was to show his nervousness or to keep from running away. Shishou came with us, and I felt a little better. He wouldn't cross Akito, but if Akito came to isolate Kyo, then he would stand up for him.

We entered back into the auditorium to find it near empty, though everyone was still there.

And Akito was talking to them.

Kyo froze on the threshold when he saw this. I was just as shocked. I hadn't been Akito to be up and talking to everyone when we got back.

Shishou eyed the both of us. "What now, Kyo? Are you going to go to Akito-sama or will you leave?"

Kyo quickly shook his head. "I said I wasn't going to run and I'm not!!"

He went right over to them, still gripping my hand tightly. I knew that he was a little afraid, but said nothing about it.

When we were about fifteen feet away Akito noticed us. He looked over at us and Kyo stopped in his tracks. Akito left the group and walked over to us. My free hand rose to grip Kyo's arm tightly. I didn't want anyone to fight, but if Akito was planning on putting Kyo away...there's no way I'd allow it.

Akito stopped right in front of Kyo, still wearing that strange expression I had seen him wear during the ceremony. His eyes fell first to where my hand gripped his arm and then to our conjoined hands. Then they returned to Kyo's face.

Then he turned around and walked towards the auditorium doors. "I'm going home now."

I blinked at that. Akito had said that he would imprison Kyo when he was done with school. But he's not doing anything like that. Did that mean he really meant it when he said he didn't care anymore?

"You're going to be all right," said Hatori. "Akito-san only came here to watch the ceremony. I wouldn't have brought him here if his reasons were along those lines."

I sagged against Kyo in relief. "Thank God. I was so afraid for a minute there..."

"Um, Kagura?" Kyo asked quietly.

"Yes?"

"You're breaking my arm."

I looked down to see that I was indeed gripping his arm tightly. "Oh, I'm so sorry!!!"

"I said I'm going home!!" called Akito.

Hatori glanced at Shigure. "I've got to take Akito home and make sure he's all right. I'll try and be by for the party later."

"Party?" said Kyo and Yuki together.

"Yuki-kun, Shigure-san was talking about it earlier," said Tohru gently. "Ayame-san and him are throwing us a graduation party!!"

Yuki and Kyo went very pale at that thought.

"We're leaving now," said Hatori, heading for the doors after Akito. "Let's go, Kureno."

Kureno had stayed off to the side throughout the whole situation. He'd been very close to Akito for a long time and not close to any of us, but I didn't think that was the only reason he strayed away from the group. He shot us a quick glance and followed Hatori out.

"Strange person," said Hana, watching him go. Uo also watched him go, her face sullen.

Ayame clapped his hands together. "Well, let's not waste anymore time!! Onwards to 'Gure-san's house for the party!! But don't you worry, 'Gure-san!! Though I have passion for parties, I save only my brightest passion for you!!"

"Aya, I'm so flattered by your loving words!!! Let us spend the night enjoying each other!!!"

"Dammit, don't do that in public!!!!" yelled Yuki, Kyo, Haru, and Hiro.

"I think it's kind of cute!!" quipped Momiji.

"Everything is cute to you," mumbled Isuzu, rubbing her head.

—

Needless to say, any party thrown by Shigure and Ayame was bound to be crazy. What we called 'Tohru, Yuki, and Kyo's Graduation Party' was later dubbed 'The Day Tohru was Introduced to Sake'. Yes, Shigure brought out some sake for all of us to try.

In spite of the craziness and all the delicious food, I didn't want to find myself drunk. Not only to avoid doing something stupid, but also to make sure I remembered this night clearly.

Then again, I didn't know just how strong the sake was. So by my second cup I found myself lightheaded.

"I'm done," I said, raising my hands.

"Aw, don't be like that Kagura-chan!!" said Shigure, inhaling his sake. "It's a party!!"

"No, I couldn't drink anymore."

Yuki and Kyo were tentatively sipping their sake. Isuzu only drank one cup and then stopped.

Tohru was inhaling the whole bottle. Apparently, no one bothered to tell her that sake was an alcoholic drink. If they did she probably wouldn't have drunken any.

"Way to go, Tohru-kun!!" cried Ayame, refilling her cup. "Drink up!!"

Before she could, Yuki clamped a hand over her cup. "Please no more, Tohru-san!!"

Tohru smiled at him, her cheeks flushed from the amount of alcohol she consumed. "Don't worry, Yuki-kun!! I feel all right!!"

"You two are just lucky Hatori's not here yet," said Haru from the other side of the room. "Or her friends. They wouldn't let her drink." Both Momiji and Kisa looked worried for Tohru while Hiro looked annoyed.

Ayame then suddenly jumped to his feet. "Oh, I just remembered!! I have a surprise for all the girls!!"

Tohru, Isuzu, Kisa, and I raised our heads.

Suddenly the door slid open. "Everything has been prepared!!"

I recognized Mine, Ayame's assistant at his shop who was wearing a Chinese dress.

It looked like Ayame was going to keep the promise he had made to me when I was sick.

"Up, girls!!" called Ayame, motioning to us. "We've made beautiful dresses just for you!!"

"No fucking way," said Isuzu, shaking her head.

Ayame grabbed her hand. "I'm sorry, but you don't have any choice!! Let's go, let's go!!"

"Let me go!!" yelled Isuzu, but Ayame succeeded in pulling her from the room.

"Come, come," said Mine, motioning to Tohru, Kisa, and I.

"This sounds like fun!!" cried Tohru, hurrying for the door. Kisa and I followed her; I was shaking my head at her silliness.

We were led into another room where Ayame was fitting Isuzu into a pale yellow Promenade dress, though it had a curved neckline and not a choker. She didn't look pleased about it, but was passive about the whole thing.

"Rin-san, you look so beautiful!!" cried Tohru. Isuzu glared at her.

"It's true, though," I added. "I'm sure Haru will like it."

"I'm almost done here!!" said Ayame, lacing up Isuzu's dress from the back. "You get started on Kagura-chan!! We're saving Tohru-kun for last!!"

"Right!!" cried Mine, grabbing hold of my hand and hauling me over to one of the mirrors they had set up.

Fifteen minutes later, I was wearing a green and gold gothic dress. And it didn't seem like a cheap imitation; it had all the layers a dress like this would've had back in Europe's Renaissance. It was indeed one of the most beautiful dresses I'd ever seen. Mine had even tied my hair back with green and gold ribbons.

As I turned, Ayame was finishing on Kisa, who was wearing a baby blue frilly floral dress. He was tying her long strands of hair with matching ribbons.

"You're so adorable!!!" squealed Tohru, hugging Kisa tightly. "Hiro-chan will swoon over you!!"

Kisa turned dark red and I laughed a little. Tohru was usually clueless to these types of things, which gave more proof that she was probably drunk.

Then both Ayame and Mine moved onto Tohru. Her dress took the longest to fit her into, but it was easy to see what kind of dress they had chosen.

A wedding dress.

But the time they were done, it was hard to see Tohru under the frills and white lace. They had even given her a veil to wear.

"Right, we're set!!" said Ayame. "Let's show these maidens off to the boys!!"

"I'm not going back out there!!" yelled Isuzu, though her cries were in vain. Since her outfits consisted of black clothing, I'm sure the pale yellow wasn't to her liking.

Needless to say, there was a stunned silence when we were led back into the room. Everyone looked completely shocked to see us.

"We've brought the maidens back!!" announced Ayame. "Aren't they absolutely magnificent?"

Isuzu grumbled and went to sit in a corner.

As I took my seat back at the table, I was pleasantly surprised to see Kyo blushing and stuttering around me.

"Y-Y-You l-look nice," he said with a hand covering his face.

I smiled serenely at him. "Thank you, Kyo-kun."

Kisa shyly went back to where she had been sitting with Hiro and Momiji. Momiji was complaining because he didn't get to play dress up, while Hiro was stuttering as much as much as Kyo did.

Meanwhile, Tohru hadn't sat down yet. She was beside herself with happiness at her beautiful wedding gown. Yuki's expression said that he didn't know whether he should be happy or horrified.

"I'm so glad you made me this gown, Ayame-san!!" she sighed, twirling around. "It would be wonderful to walk down the aisle at my wedding wearing this..."

Yuki turned several shades of red. Tohru stopped twirling and quickly sat down in front of him.

"Yuki-kun," she said serenely with sparkles in her eyes, gripping his hand so tightly she was surely breaking his fingers. "I can wear this at my wedding...can't I?"

"Um, eh, ah, uh, um," said Yuki, turning even redder. "O-Of course you can, Tohru-san."

Suddenly, several poppers went off. Shigure and Ayame stood up, firing off more of them.

"You all heard it!!" cried Ayame. "Tohru-kun proposed to Yuki, and Yuki accepted!!!"

"Yay, Yuki-kun's getting married!!!" cried Shigure. "I never thought I'd see the day!!"

Yuki's mouth was gaping open widely. "Wait...I never–I didn't–"

"Aw, but don't you want to marry Tohru-kun?" asked Shigure.

"That's so cruel, Yuki!!" cried Ayame. "To accept a proposal and then decline it!!"

Tohru became teary-eyed. "Yuki-kun...you don't want to marry me?"

"He's stuck," muttered Kyo, shaking his head.

"Um, I, uh–"

"Don't you love me, Yuki-kun?"

"Y-You know I do, Tohru-san–"

"Then you _will _marry me?!"

"I, uh–"

"It's decided!!" cried Mine, bringing in a huge knapsack. "A wedding is on the way!!"

"Now this is a real celebration!!" cried Ayame. He dipped his arms into the bag and then quickly flung them out, causing some of the contents to fly into the air. I thought it was confetti until one of the objects hit my shoulder. I heard cries of pain and annoyance as the others were hit. I picked up the object that hit me to see a small velvet box. I opened it to see a diamond ring.

An engagement ring.

I looked around to see many other velvet boxes laying on the floor around me.

"Two hundred engagement rings!!!" cried Ayame, flinging more out. "True romance and happiness cannot be achieved unless everyone is happy!!"

"Why the fuck did you buy two hundred?!?!" cried Kyo as another ring hit him.

"For variety!! If Yuki bought Tohru-kun a ring, there's no guarantee that she'd like it!! Now she can choose which one she likes!!!"

"We cleaned out many stores!!" cried Mine, firing off another popper.

"I've never heard anything so stupid in my life!!!!!" yelled Kyo, and a box caught him in the face.

"And this deal isn't just for Tohru-kun!!! Everyone, look for yourselves!!"

Indeed, no one could help but look through the boxes. Some of the rings had tiny diamonds, other were so big it would weigh your hand down.

I noticed that while Isuzu was pointedly ignoring all this, Haru was calmly looking at the boxes. He plucked up a random one and looked at the ring. I didn't know what kind of ring it was, but it apparently satisfied him. He looked around as if to make sure that no one was looking at him and then stashed the ring into his pocket.

There's another wedding.

"You have to marry her, Yuki-kun!!" said Shigure, smiling evilly. "Or was it not you who's been sneaking into her room for the past few weeks?"

Yuki turned to stone. Tohru dropped the rings she had been examining, her eyes wide with fright. "Oh no...nobody's suppose to know about that!!!!!!"

"My oh my, you _are_ naughty Yuki!!!" laughed Ayame. "I'm so glad you take after me!!!"

"I'll marry her!!!" yelled Yuki, though still in a stone state.

"Excellent!!!" cried Mine. She pulled out a blueprint. "Since this is going to be a western wedding, I suggest a little more ribbons on this side."

"True, true!!" said Ayame. "But let's have some more cherry blossoms hanging from here..."

Yuki looked even more horrified as it became clear that they had planned this whole thing. Tohru seemed a little more relieved and went back to searching.

Hiro curiously picked up a box only to have it smacked out of his hands by Ayame. "No you don't!! You're far too young to indulge like this!!"

"Aw, don't be like that Aya!!" said Shigure. "Hi-chan's a curious little boy!! Shouldn't all boys be curious?"

Ayame flicked some of his long hair aside. "Of course, how impudent of me. Here you go!!!"

He dropped about twenty boxes onto Hiro.

"These are such nice rings!!" said Momiji, looking through the boxes. "I'm very impressed Aya!!"

"Aw, don't be holding back on us!!" said Shigure. "You want to give yours to a pretty girl, don't you?"

"Well, not really," said Momiji sincerely. "I'm just looking through them."

"It'd be more believable if he gave it to a boy," I heard Isuzu mutter, though no one else did.

Ritsu was nervously sitting off to the side. He picked up a box with shaking fingers and opened it. "They _are_ very pretty..."

"Looking to give one to a girl, Ri-chan?" asked Shigure.

Ritsu turned several shades of red. "Um, I, uh–"

He dropped the box to the floor. The ring popped out of the box upon impact, but was otherwise all right. Still...

"OH MY GOD!!!!!!! I'M SO STUPID, I CAN'T EVEN HOLD A RING!!!!!!"

"Yes, it's pretty stupid," said Shigure evilly.

"OH, I'M SUCH A FAILURE, I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!!!!!!!"

"I'm getting a headache, shut him up!!" whined Hiro from under the pile of boxes. Shigure obligingly poked Ritsu in the side, sending him sprawling to the floor.

It calmed down a bit after that. As much as it could with a drunk Tohru fussing over the rings.

"This one looks nice. Oh, and this one too. And this one. Oh, what am I going to do, I can't choose..."

Yuki sat there with an expression resembling horror and disbelief.

"Join the party a little, Isuzu!!" I called to her.

"This dress is suffocating me, no thank you," said Isuzu. She tugged at the fabric and then stood up. "Haru!"

Haru looked up. "Yeah?"

She went over to him and grabbed his arm. "C'mon, we're going elsewhere."

"Elsewhere? Where?"

"Just shut up and come on."

In that instant he turned Black. I thought he was start a yelling fest since Isuzu was ordering him around. But instead he happily grabbed her arm and hurried from the room. I doubted he was going to beat her up.

"I just hope our marriage doesn't incite Akito's wrath," mumbled Yuki, still watching Tohru sort through the rings.

"What did Akito say to you guys before Kyo-kun and I got there?" I asked.

"Nothing really. He didn't directly address Tohru-san and I, giving me the inclination that he neither approves nor disapproves of our relationship. I'm not going to ask for his blessing, but I have a feeling Tohru-san will want to..."

"Here!!!" cried Tohru, holding up a beautiful ring. "Yuki-kun, put this on my finger!"

Yuki stiffly took the ring and put on her gloved left hand.

I could only imagine Tohru's reaction when she was sober.

I turned to address Kyo, only to find him gone.

"Did Kyo-kun leave?" I asked absently, looking around the room.

"He escaped?!" Ayame gasped in horror. "Bad Kyon-Kyon!!"

I stood up. "I'll go look for him."

"Right, and drag him back here!! This party is far from over!!"

I left the room and went into the hallway. I had an idea as to where Kyo had gone. But before I could start searching, I bumped into Hatori.

"I'm sorry I'm late," he said, straightening. "What have they done so far?"

"Well, Yu-chan and Tohru are engaged."

"What?"

"And they managed to get Tohru to drink a lot of sake."

"WHAT?!?!" for one of the few times Hatori raised his voice, it sounded a little scary. He stormed into the room and I hurried away as Hatori started giving Shigure and Ayame a loud lecture about giving out alcohol.

_Just think,_ said a small voice. _There was a time two years ago when you thought you'd never be this active again._

_Having kidney cancer or any other cancer at the age of eighteen is pretty frightening. But I managed to get through it thanks to the people I love. _

I headed outside and searched around the side of the house. I found the ladder quickly enough and began climbing to the roof.

It was difficult; climbing in a medieval goth dress. I kept stepping on the layers in my bare feet and nearly fell. But I held on tightly and managed to get to the top. As I had expected, Kyo was lounging on the roof. "You're missing the party, Kyo-kun."

He jumped a little, but looked relieved to see me. "All that noise and chaos was driving me crazyI needed to get away from it."

"Me too," I said, crawling to his side. It was a nice evening; there was slightly warm breeze and the sky was clear. I could see the sun setting in the distance. "It's been a while since I've climbed up here. I think the last time was..."

I trailed off. The last time I had climbed up there was when I had still be sick and had wanted to see Kyo. He was in love with Tohru then, and was cold to me...

"I'm sorry," he said.

"For what?" I asked, puzzled by the statement.

"For the way I treated you when you had cancer."

"It's all right–

"No, it's not. When I first saw how sick you were, I thought it was all my fault. I mean, I had just rejected you a few weeks before. Most people change their appearances when their hearts are broken, but...you were so skinny. It was like a tight hug would snap you in two.

"All I could think was 'she doing this to herself because of me'. I thought you weren't eating out of depression. But then...then we found out you had cancer. And it hit me that I had rejected you while the cancer was growing inside you. I didn't notice it then; only at that party. I was convinced that you became so sick so suddenly because of what I did. I didn't know what to do. So all I could do...what be mean."

I touched his arm. "I never once blamed you for my condition, Kyo-kun."

"I know. And when you showed up before you surgery...you looked worse. And it was thrown in my face, that I was treating you like shit. So all I could do was react that way. And then, when you laid that guilt trip on me...it only made it worse. I already blamed myself as it was, and the guilt trip only worsened my feelings."

"Kyo-kun, listen to me. I was hurt by your coldness, but you treated me so wonderfully while I recovered. Believe me, you've made up for it. We've been together for two years; two years is a long time for a relationship and we're still going strong. If I thought you caused my illness or you made it worse, do you think I'd be sitting here with you now?"

Kyo said nothing.

"Having kidney cancer will stay with me for the rest of my life. But I'm not going to remember the worse moments. I only treasure the precious, tender moments that I've had with everyone, mainly you. So I don't want you to dwell on them either."

Kyo's hand rose and it touched the small of my back just over where my cancerous kidney had once been. "I'm glad you're doing all right."

"Me too. I'm going to have to check with Hatori in a few months so he can examine the sight to make sure it's healed properly. I'll be scarred down there, but I'll take that over cancer."

Kyo nodded.

I lay down next to him, my head on his shoulder. "Do you remember when we were kids, how we'd stay out all night and just watch the stars like this?"

"The stars aren't out yet," said Kyo, circling his arm around me. "But yeah."

"Well, how about we go up to the mountains together and watch them all the time? We both have plenty of time on our hands before I have to go back to college and you do what you want to do."

"Stargazing in the mountains doesn't sound too exciting. But sure, why not?"

A thought came to me. "What did Shishou and you talk about today, Kyo-kun?"

"Well, since I'm not going back into isolation he wants me to take over his dojo."

"That's a great idea!!" I sat up with excitement. "What'd you say?"

Kyo gave me look. "What do you think I said?"

I hugged him tightly. "This is wonderful!! Yun-chan and Tohru are getting married and you're going to own Shishou's dojo!!!"

Kyo scoffed. "That Yuki's just a damn moron. He's been planning on proposing to her properly for a while, but he lets his idiot brother take all the glory. On top of that he lets Tohru go through a bunch of rings he didn't even buy, and that kind of takes the whole meaning out of it."

"Tohru's drunk. I'm fairly certain when she wakes up she'll think Yun-chan bought the ring for her and put it on her finger in her sleep."

"...He's still stupid. If I were to propose to a girl, I wouldn't let someone like that idiot dictate the circumstances. I'd abide my time and make sure no one meddles. Then I'd propose to her with no one as our witness except for...the stars."

A warm feeling passed over me. I leaned up and gave him a quick kiss. "I guess we better go on that mountain trip soon, huh?"

Kyo didn't respond, but he managed a smile. A smile I was always fond of, one he use to show me when we were children...

Suddenly, there was a loud crash from inside the house and Yuki yelling.

"Looks like Yun-chan finally lost his temper," I said, getting up and heading for the ladder.

"About time," said Kyo, following me.

We climbed down the ladder and eyed the house.

"Should we offer Hatori some support?" I asked.

Kyo shook his head. "Nah, he can handle it. He's been handling it for years. How about we just go for a walk?"

"Sounds like a good idea."

He held out a hand to me, reminding me once again of our childhood and I accepted the hand. Together we walked away from the house and down the path.

If I was told over two years ago that my life would turn out this way, I probably wouldn't have believed it. At a time I was certain that Tohru would truly make Kyo happy, I thought the two of them would be together.

But here I was, two years post surgery, walking hand in hand with someone I've always loved. And Tohru...Tohru had Yuki, someone in dire need of love and acceptance. As did Kyo. But Tohru and I were capable women, so I think we could help them out.

_It's amazing just how much has changed,_ I thought to myself. _Yun-chan's with Tohru. Isuzu's back with Haru. And I'm with Kyo-kun. _

"I love you," I said, smiling at him a little.

Kyo turned a little red. "Yeah I know. I love you too."

This broaden my smile and took the lead down the path, drawing him with me.

_I truly do love him and I believe he loves me. There might a time where the cancer returns or something terrible might happen. But I know he'll be there with me. I've sought him out my entire life. Now that I have him, I'm going to hold onto him forever._

While some of the facts about surgery came from a nurse I know, it was these sources that I was able to get the information.For some reason I can't place links, so here's the names of the websites: 

Cancer.gov - Types of Cancer

Common Kidney Cancer Symptoms

CancerGuide: Hereditary Kidney Cancer


End file.
